Onions are Good, but LEEKs are Better!
MONTEREY, CA — Readers of the farcical newspaper The Onion, rejoice! The LEEK, a Homeland Security focused journal has taken satire to new heights! Micki Trum, CEO of The LEEK, has managed to take a tiny start-up of eight people and, with the help of technology, build it to a massive empire of eight people. Focusing on the bottomless mirth of Homeland Security, The LEEK has been able to focus readership to an exclusive group of about sixty people. Journalists agree that it is quality, not quantity that counts. Using Slack and Medium, some of the geeks working at The LEEK have been able to amass over fifty followers on Twitter and other social media sites!
While the newspaper, The Onion may have been around since the internet began, it has taken a maven like The LEEK to really turn up the heat on satire. We diced the site to bring you a list of our favorite articles:
Seducing the Subduction Zone
Butters-Brown is confident that he can help the homeland security effort. His research shows that earthquakes and tsunamis are caused by the Greek god Poseidon when he strikes his trident on the earth or the ocean floor. In Greek mythology, Poseidon was of quick temper and a well-known seducer of women. More>>>>
The Panama Papers Cut
Among the short list of Mossack Fonseca’s high profile American clients is Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump. However, documents revealed that despite Mr. Trump’s claim that “I’m rich, really rich” his entire business holdings are actual shells. More>>>>
The Internet has Pushed Us Down and We Can’t Get Up!
The digital divide between generations is growing. The world-wide web has become a necessary part of younger users. However, it has also created misunderstanding among older generations. Help has arrived. >>>More
Headboards Recalled Due to “Shrinkage”
Fearing that something dreadful had happened to their boss after such a busy night, the firefighters rushed upstairs to the Engine Office. A surprise lay in wait behind the office door. >>>More
TSA is the New Snoop Dawg
The device, which augments the employee’s nose, is worn by specially trained TSA employees who will then be able to “smell” luggage for contraband. The program will include inspection of cargo, aircraft, parked cars, abandoned bags and other stationary objects found in and around airports. >>>More
Of course, keeping readership so tiny in this age of instant communication is no small feat. But, as any chef will tell you, onions are good, but LEEKS are better!
*SATIRICAL POST WARNING*
Posted by Pivotal Planning Team — www.theleeksatire.com
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