PARENTHOOD
You Finally Overcame Your Biggest Fear! — You’re a Big Girl Now
A new level unlocked. Welcome to the big league. No longer a toddler, much less a baby. My girl is growing up, and I couldn’t be more proud. (Letters to my daughter)
Yesterday, you finally did it, baby girl! You got over the biggest boogyman of a fear that has been haunting you since forever. Out of respect and privacy, I won’t mention what it was. Let’s just say it was the last thing you still had to master to officially transition from a baby or toddler to a proper girl. Daddy’s so proud. There are no words to describe it.
I love how you are terrified of something and won’t even talk about it until that magical moment changes everything. One minute, it’s like, “There’s no way, never, no, I’d rather die first,” and the next, it’s, “Look, daddy, I did it. Let’s do it again, and again, and again. It’s the best thing ever!”
This particular obstacle on your path was a biggie.
I never gave up hope, for I knew that sooner or later, you would face this fear of yours, either spontaneously or deliberately. In our case, it was a mixture of both. You cried and panicked when it happened, but after realizing that you’re okay, with a bit of help from your loving mother (I wasn’t allowed anywhere near you, hehe), you finally felt proud of yourself. Just like I’ve been promising you would.
That evening, you repeated it three more times, sealing the deal and radiating joy as we high-fived you every time. Ah, yes — the sweet taste of victory! After the second intentional success, I knew you had completely overcome the fear that had kept you a prisoner for the last year.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing, though.
We’ve learned that pushing you against your will is pointless and, in fact, counterproductive. Enough was enough, though. I’ve decided, and your mother reluctantly agreed, that the time has come to plant our flag. Come hell or high water, you will get over this fear. Now or never. It would have happened sooner or later anyway, but I was done waiting. It was time.
I’ll give it to you. You stuck to your guns for almost a whole week. You gave up everything, including watching cartoons altogether (and the thing we won’t mention), refusing even to try. Alas, resistance was futile, dear one.
You may be stubborn, but I’ve got decades of stubbornness ahead of you. You tried unfriending me a few dozen times. Alas, I’m not going anywhere. You can’t get rid of me, my darling.
The battle of wills was fierce, but we won in the end.
The truth is, you’ve won. You just didn’t know it until it happened. We had to push you, and despite inner questioning, if it was the right thing to do, we persevered.
Threats were thrown around on both sides. Small joys were given up in the name of principle. Peace deals were agreed upon and written in stone. Once your part was done, we kept our end of the bargain. Always!
My word is my bond, dear one. That is the one constant you can always count on in an ever-changing world!
Anyway, I’m proud of you.
Welcome to being a proper little girl, no longer a baby or a toddler with half measures. You’re all grown up. All of these old habits have been cast aside. You’re part of this world now, free from the last shackle that bound you to toddlerhood. You passed the test. You did it!
“Now, get a job, start paying the bills, find a husband, and make me some grandkids.” LOL! Just kidding. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sure these statements will piss the living hell out of you as you grow older. I can’t wait to be the one pushing your buttons. Yeah, being a grown-up doesn’t mean you stop being a silly kid on the inside. That’s the good news.
We’ll continue to shower you with gifts of love and confirmation and wait for a new challenge to cross our path. Don’t worry-we’ll deal with it together. Just remember what I always tell you:
What you desire the most is waiting for you on the other side of fear!
Love, Dad
Related posts that will help you face your fears:
How to Face Your Fears, Calm Your Mind, and Overcome Anxiety
A collection of my posts on anxiety and fear. You will find instructions for meditation, learn how to control your mind and emotions, and achieve inner peace.
Dear Daughter, Are You Afraid Of an Exam in School?
Re-frame it in your mind and be free from worry once and for all.
Dear Daughter, What Good Is Worrying About Things Beyond Your Control?
Wars, violence, and armed conflicts are rising in the world. Use them as reminders of how lucky you are.
Dear Daughter, Don’t Fear Change — Learn to Love It
Change is scary, but it’s the essence of life. It’s venturing into the unknown. But change can also be good. It usually is. Take calculated risks often and keep growing.
Face Your Fears — Don’t Run Away From Them! Here’s How
A simple and effective process for examining and dealing with your biggest fears. Free yourself of fear, anxiety, and stress.
What Helped Me Overcome the Fear of Water?
Afraid of deep water? Scared of drowning? Let’s talk.
Are You Afraid of Going to The Dentist?
How to make your dentist appointments less scary and painful? Dare we aim for pleasant?
This One Idea Helped Me Overcome Paralyzing Fear and Anxiety
Would knowing the future make you more, or less afraid of it? Is the future predetermined?
I write weekly letters to my daughter and to all the daughters of the world. If this is the only content you’re here for, you can choose to subscribe and only receive these letters, or on Medium, you can follow the publication Letters to My Dear Daughter. But you’ll be missing out. :)
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