Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
A Moon Meditation Hindered by Mosquitos
A Moon Meditation Hindered by Mosquitos
You can cover yourself up all you want, but they’re still gonna bite your face. You wore a massive sweatshirt in the heat but forgot to…
AbbeyO and The Chair Portal
Aug 17
Donald Trump Vows To Get Back At Kamala Harris By Voting Joe Biden For President
Donald Trump Vows To Get Back At Kamala Harris By Voting Joe Biden For President
Short Sighted Planning
Ellie Salvaje
Aug 16
Why Can’t I Find a Good Pair of Socks?
Why Can’t I Find a Good Pair of Socks?
My struggle.
Ryan Redmond
Aug 16
The Three Words Teachers Hate the Most
The Three Words Teachers Hate the Most
Back. To. School.
Mike Hickman
Aug 16
Being In My 50s Has Its Challenges
Being In My 50s Has Its Challenges
The fine print is always a bitch
Steve Uppendahl
Aug 16
25 Things I’m Looking Forward to in Our Dystopian Future
25 Things I’m Looking Forward to in Our Dystopian Future
The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades
John Corten
Aug 16
Things I Say When People Give Me A Compliment On My Floral Shirt
Things I Say When People Give Me A Compliment On My Floral Shirt
I mean Thank-you?!?
Mayur Chauhan
Aug 16
Less Successful Iterations of the Harvey Wallbanger
Less Successful Iterations of the Harvey Wallbanger
With recipes
Sarah Totton
Aug 16
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 118
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 118
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Aug 16
Yo, We’re the Dope Tech Agency Offering Everything Except a Living Wage
Yo, We’re the Dope Tech Agency Offering Everything Except a Living Wage
Go broke with us
Henry Loe
Aug 16
My Therapist Butt-Dialed Me After Our Meeting and I’m So Glad I’m Not Living Their Life
My Therapist Butt-Dialed Me After Our Meeting and I’m So Glad I’m Not Living Their Life
Perhaps I should be charging a copay.
Victor Yocco, PhD
Aug 16
20 Subject Headings from J.D. Vance’s Leaked Emails
20 Subject Headings from J.D. Vance’s Leaked Emails
Sofa, so good!
Ross Rosenfeld
Aug 16
The Initials ‘CEO’ Now Have A Whole New Meaning
The Initials ‘CEO’ Now Have A Whole New Meaning
One time in our no-so-distant past the term ‘CEO’, meaning ‘Chief Executive Officer’, was invented to replace the perfectly good word…
Roger Freed
Aug 16
The Ego Might Be The Problem
The Ego Might Be The Problem
A review of Clem Samson’s new book “The Seven Labyrinths.”
Ryan Eland
Aug 16
Have You Finished Renovating Your House to Look Like Everyone Else’s?
Have You Finished Renovating Your House to Look Like Everyone Else’s?
Counting backwards through the home décor trend cycle
Emily DeFreitas
Aug 16
My Boyfriend Is Too Woke to Spank Me
My Boyfriend Is Too Woke to Spank Me
Should I have seen it coming?
Honorata Onanisma
Aug 16
Twenty Funny Things For Guys To Say During Sex
Twenty Funny Things For Guys To Say During Sex
Straight from your boner to her funny bone
Christine's Adventures
Aug 15
A Few Notes While Third-Wheeling With A ‘Van Life’ Couple
A Few Notes While Third-Wheeling With A ‘Van Life’ Couple
Van life is life, and sometimes life ain’t easy. I fell asleep while driving again the other day and Rain and Corey got really mad. I…
r.j. kushner
Aug 15
Nobody Good Will Let Us Use Their Music!
Nobody Good Will Let Us Use Their Music!
Newly Leaked RNC Memo Reveals Trump Pivot to Public Domain Works at Future Rallies
Rich Taylor
Aug 15
Shakespeare Behind Bars — The Untold Story (Humor)
Shakespeare Behind Bars — The Untold Story (Humor)
True historical information- A historical research group in Wales has unearthed evidence that one William Shakespeare, father of famous…
Roger Freed
Aug 15
Republican West Virginia State Senator Arrested for Masturbating in Casino
Republican West Virginia State Senator Arrested for Masturbating in Casino
Now, that’s what I call taking a huge gamble!
Johnny Robish
Aug 14
You’d Like Your New Boyfriend to Take Down His Tinder Profile
You’d Like Your New Boyfriend to Take Down His Tinder Profile
Is that too much to ask?
Christine's Adventures
Aug 14
Cannibal Corpse Fans Disgusted By New Song About Kicking A Dog
Cannibal Corpse Fans Disgusted By New Song About Kicking A Dog
MADISON, WI — Fans of long-running death metal band Cannibal Corpse are outraged at the band’s new song, “That Mutt Had It Coming,” whose…
S.L. Neechski
Aug 14
Harris Puts the Kibosh on Walz Campaign Prank
Harris Puts the Kibosh on Walz Campaign Prank
“I think it could have been funny, but I understand the risks,” Walz concedes
Speaking Fiction To Power
Aug 14
Monolith Appears Near Nevada Mountain Top
Monolith Appears Near Nevada Mountain Top
A strange monolith has appeared near Goss Pass of a 7,000 foot mountain in the Las Vegas area of Nevada. Police and Park Rangers inspecting…
Roger Freed
Aug 14
Look, No One Knows if Tom Cruise Will Survive His Next Stunt, so We Need Him to Sign This Movie…
Look, No One Knows if Tom Cruise Will Survive His Next Stunt, so We Need Him to Sign This Movie…
It’s a lot less risky and a whole lot risqué
Spurty
Aug 14
Are We All Just a Bunch of Asshats?
Are We All Just a Bunch of Asshats?
The Smackdown on Human Nature
Rick L. Huffman
Aug 14
10 Answers to Questions You Forgot to Ask
10 Answers to Questions You Forgot to Ask
Bodies, baristas, Bambi, and more!
Jan M Flynn
Aug 14
The Thirst Trap Dilemma
The Thirst Trap Dilemma
Following a particularly gruelling gym workout last Saturday, Tanner Tedesco, fitness influencer, bro scientist, and self-proclaimed expert…
Andrew Scott (IG: andrewjacobscott1)
Aug 14
The Sofa That Became a War Crime
The Sofa That Became a War Crime
Sometime around 1970, my mother decided it was time to upgrade the décor from the furnishings inherited with the house they purchased from…
Terri Patkin
Aug 14
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams