Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
Keep Your Spiritual Transformation to Yourself
Keep Your Spiritual Transformation to Yourself
Don’t announce that you are post ego. If nobody notices, have you really gone post ego?
Clem Samson
Sep 14
LIVING DOLLS
LIVING DOLLS
Suspended from a rearview mirror, on a swing, with a metal bar up through her leg so she could stand, an 18-inch waist (if she were real)…
S. A. Mulholland
Sep 14
When I was Too Afraid to Pee
When I was Too Afraid to Pee
Pee can be scary
Alcoholicsaint
Sep 14
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 125
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 125
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Sep 14
Uncover the Shocking Truth About Trump’s Recent Migrant Claims
Uncover the Shocking Truth About Trump’s Recent Migrant Claims
Is a Secretary of Pavement Protein Procurement in the works?
Christopher Holdroyd
Sep 14
Citing Fear of Being Eaten, Snoop Dogg Joins Other Entertainers in Avoiding Ohio
Citing Fear of Being Eaten, Snoop Dogg Joins Other Entertainers in Avoiding Ohio
International superstar, rapper, actor Snoop Dogg announced that he has cancelled all future concerts and promotional appearances in the…
Rich Taylor
Sep 14
Corner the market on hot 75-year-old women. Start planning early.
Corner the market on hot 75-year-old women. Start planning early.
Don’t you want a rich, aging supermodel?
Matt Walsh
Sep 14
Is Renting An Airbnb Better Than Staying In A Hotel?
Is Renting An Airbnb Better Than Staying In A Hotel?
It’s a crap shoot. But these Airbnb hacks can help ensure a positive experience
Christine Stevens
Sep 13
Congratulations, of Sorts, Are in Order for Trump/Vance Campaign
Congratulations, of Sorts, Are in Order for Trump/Vance Campaign
Animal shelters across the country are reporting huge adoption increases due to false statements of both candidates
Speaking Fiction To Power
Sep 13
Announcing Our New Feline Offerings
Announcing Our New Feline Offerings
The Kansas City Steak Company Delivers New Adventures in Dining
Martha Manning, Ph.D.
Sep 13
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 124
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 124
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Sep 13
Costco Sells Two Weird Items
Costco Sells Two Weird Items
I’ll bet you don’t know what they are
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Sep 12
Immigrant Dog and Cat Recipe Book
Immigrant Dog and Cat Recipe Book
Also duck
Christine Stevens
Sep 12
All Cats Are Autistic and All Dogs Have ADHD
All Cats Are Autistic and All Dogs Have ADHD
Just a thought.
Burn Book
Sep 12
The Healing Power of Laughter
The Healing Power of Laughter
Success is scarce in places where there is little humor
Maliha Noushin
Sep 12
Brian Setzer Confirms That No Cats Have Been Eaten by Hungry Haitians
Brian Setzer Confirms That No Cats Have Been Eaten by Hungry Haitians
Don’t cross my path
John Corten
Sep 12
In Wake of Taylor Swift’s Endorsement of Kamala Harris, Trump Supporters Vow to Kneel While…
In Wake of Taylor Swift’s Endorsement of Kamala Harris, Trump Supporters Vow to Kneel While…
“Knees for Trump” Movement Emerges Following Music Superstar’s Surprise Endorsement Post
Rich Taylor
Sep 12
Top Phrases For What Harris Did To Trump In Debate
Top Phrases For What Harris Did To Trump In Debate
It Was So Bad, They’re Still Thinking Up New Ones.
David Volk
Sep 12
All-You-Can-Eat Cat & Dog Buffets Thriving In Springfield, Ohio
All-You-Can-Eat Cat & Dog Buffets Thriving In Springfield, Ohio
The secret menu is off the leash.
Dan Dore
Sep 12
Trump and Musk
Trump and Musk
“Dumb and Bummer” (Apologies to Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne)
Eric Milch
Sep 12
These Game-Changing Innovations Have Improved My Sex Life
These Game-Changing Innovations Have Improved My Sex Life
They might help yours too! Check it out.
Christine Stevens
Sep 12
Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!
Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!
Shit Happens. And then you write about it.
Roz Warren, Writing Coach
Sep 11
Scientists: Climate Change Is The Least Of Our Worries
Scientists: Climate Change Is The Least Of Our Worries
Rising sea levels and increased temperatures are nothing compared to this
Clem Samson
Sep 11
Whoopsie
Whoopsie
A flash fiction story
S.L. Neechski
Sep 11
Famous Celebrities Who Gave Up Hollywood and Now Work Normal Jobs
Famous Celebrities Who Gave Up Hollywood and Now Work Normal Jobs
Now they’re just regular people like you and me!
Christine Stevens
Sep 11
Actual Quotes From a Bad Grad School English Textbook
Actual Quotes From a Bad Grad School English Textbook
Why are these books so expensive?
Caleb Coy
Sep 11
No One Seeks Male Validation More Than Other Men
No One Seeks Male Validation More Than Other Men
Field notes on the Homo hapiens masculinus validatus.
Burn Book
Sep 11
Love Me Once, Die Trying
Love Me Once, Die Trying
The fatal sexual adventure of animals— things boys do for sex
Dr Mohit🐙
Sep 11
Using Humor in Emails To Get Noticed (In a Good Way) at Work
Using Humor in Emails To Get Noticed (In a Good Way) at Work
Being funny in email can be a massive boon or make you highly obnoxious. It’s all about finding the sweet spot.
Joe Bee
Sep 11
I’m a Cat Guy
I’m a Cat Guy
And you’re wrong.
Joe Bee
Sep 11
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams