Riverdale: The Show’s Red John Problem
Season 2, Episode 6
Greetings, folks, and welcome to The Queue’s official coverage of Riverdale season two. The sixth episode of season two had the women of Riverdale taking everybody down, Cheryl finally getting her long overdue breakout episode, and some more Degrassi-level BS, so let’s dive in.
If you’re still catching up on what this is and who I am and what Riverdale is, I suggest this post, this post, and this post.
And here are my other recaps thus far: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5.
And obviously, spoilers follow, so don’t read ahead if you hate knowing shit.
Episode Overview in Haiku Form
Y’all know I dig a haiku:
Women of the ‘dale,
Led this entire hour,
The boys are useless.
The 5X5
This section breaks down the top five things you need to know from this episode:
- Betty was back to her good ol’ bad bitch self making amends with her friends, finding a big-time drug supplier, telling a goddamn serial killer she was coming after him, and fixing her boyfriend’s car for his gang street race. I continue to believe that everyone else on this show is irrelevant.
- Cheryl owned this hour. Finally. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y.
- In other finally: B and V reunited for the first time practically all season to turn into a crime-fighting duo (thank god).
- Somehow teenaged Jughead suddenly became leader of the Southside Serpents gang and has the power to sacrifice their territory for a bet against a rival gang? I know this is a small town, but who thought putting a youth in charge was a good idea?
- All the parents on this show continue to be the shadiest. Mayor McCoy is rounding up youths, FP Jones is telling his 16-year-old son how to drag race, and the Lodges casually let Nick St. Clair and his parents get into a car accident for attempting to roofie their daughter. What in the hell?
Camila Mendes Eyebrows Update
Camila Mendes raising an eyebrow with those reading glasses on in the last scene? When she found out about Nick St. Clair’s temporary demise via car accident? Priceless.
The Most Interesting Thing Archie Did in This Episode
I’m so glad the Old Archie who isn’t the focus of each episode and continues to do earnest but absurd shit is back. Today in interestingly and lovably naive moves, Archie dragged Jughead out of Southside High during a drug raid and then called the cops on the Ghoulies (some rival gang who’s suddenly important?) during the random AF street race.
Also, all of the “Archie, these gangs are going to come after you!” threats from Jughead are getting pretty old. Archie’s face still looks like porcelain. No one’s touched that thing.
Artsy White Fuckboy Jughead Line of the Week
Tbh, Cole Sprouse was doing a lot of overly dramatic yelling in this episode, and I couldn’t keep up.
Pretentious Film Observation of the Week
I took exactly one film class in college during my freshman year and I’m trying to pretend I learned things from it that I still remember.
Today I want to talk about how this whole Black Hood mess reminds me of The Mentalist, a show I watched every week during its entire seven-season run.
For those who don’t know, The Mentalist starred Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, a “psychic” who uses his powers of observation and cunning to help the California Bureau of Investigation solve crime. The bigger story, however, is that in his former life as a celebrity psychic, Jane went up against a serial killer named Red John, who then killed Jane’s wife and daughter in retaliation. Most of the show’s seven seasons were spent hunting Red John, but I won’t spoil that plot for those who haven’t seen the show.
The Mentalist’s Red John and Riverdale’s Black Hood have a similar problem: These sorts of all-knowing, larger-than-life serial killer types are really quite boring. The more power writers give them, the more disappointing it is to find out that they’re just people instead of the highly mythologized monsters they’ve become. And often, because writers have to work so hard to prove how all-mighty these people are, they often lose sight of if the person behind the villain mask even makes sense.
Another show that totally did this? Gossip Girl. Again, I won’t ruin the ending for people who haven’t seen it and want to, but even if you have no intentions of ever watching the show, you can see what could go wrong by having this anonymous internet cyborg pulling the strings for years and then needing to attach it to a real-life human. It’s just not plausible after a certain point.
It looks like the Black Hood mystery won’t take years of conspiracy theories to unravel like the Red John one did. But at the same time, I’m bracing myself for the 90% chance of disappointment at who the Black Hood really is.
Analysis ’n’ Stuff
This is the section where I give my random thoughts and track a few things throughout the series.
The Women of Riverdale Won the Episode
Ah, women slayed the game in this episode aka the way things should be. We got to see:
- Cheryl finally make a serious appearance for the first time all season and take on her mother and talk about why her own parent hasn’t protected her. (Also, Madelaine Petsch was phenomenal in this episode. That scene with Nick St. Clair at the diner was incredible.)
- Betty challenge a serial killer to a fight to the death: “You’re next, Black Hood. I’m breathing down your neck. Can you feel it? Can you feel me?” BETTY GIRL, WHAT IS UPPPPPP? And then she souped up her then-ex Jughead’s car for the drag race and went all Rihanna “Shut Up And Drive” on his ass in that overall getup. I was living.
- Veronica team up again with Betty in one of their old-fashioned takedowns. V also spoke up about Nick St. Clair trying to roofie her and then acted casual when she found out he was in a “car accident” that would require “months” of recovery.
- Toni sleep over at Jughead’s trailer but tell him the next day that she’s “more into girls” and that no thanks, she’s not interested in being a rebound. Oh, and she made fun of Jug’s “PG-13 groping.” Toni’s my hero.
Most Ferocious Line of the Night
Cheryl turning to her mother next to their fireplace and saying, “Careful you don’t get burned again” made me choke on my damn croissant.
What Is This Town Though?
How the hell did these bougie ass Riverside High kids get invited to this freaking gang drag race? Why do these Southside people keep letting them come chill? Aren’t they supposedly the enemy? These youths are acting like potentially deadly and very illegal battles for territory between rival gangs are the new brunch.
And also, where the hell did the Ghoulies come from? I was still getting used to these Pixie Sticks the youths on this show are snorting, and now they’re supposedly coming from another rival gang? I can’t keep up.
Still a Little Soapy
As happy as I am with this episode, don’t get me wrong: There were still some serious Degrassi moments.
- We got some random line from Mayor McCoy about how Josie’s father was a drug addict and then that wasn’t unpacked further?
- We saw a drug raid on Southside High and students arrested for gang affiliation and drug dealing.
- We have a fucking street race for crying out loud.
- We took on the complexities of Cheryl’s attempted rape case.
- WE HAD A TEACHER WHO WAS A MAJOR TOWN DRUG SUPPLIER. Robert Phillips is no Archie Simpson, folks.
We’re Finally Getting a Sheriff Keller Storyline
I’ve always found the character of Sheriff Keller to be underdeveloped; the bumbling racist and classist small-town sheriff explanation was never enough. Next episode’s preview showed him being shady and shirtless (great lifestyle blog name, btw) in a basement, and I’m very much here for this content.
