My Feminist Gen X Wife Has a BDSM Fetish. These are Her 5 Favorite Ways to Be Dominated.
It may seem counterintuitive that a feminist desires to be sexually dominated but Lauren, like lots of women, loves it.
Conventional wisdom may have it that a feminist would never, ever sexually submit to her lover or, god forbid, let him/her dominate her. But I’m here to call bullshit on that.
I can call bullshit on it because I’m married to a feminist who enjoys being dominated in bed. When I say dominated, I’m not joking or fucking around. The bitch has a BDSM fetish. In case you take offense to me calling her “bitch,” consider that she enjoys being called that very term in bed.
So my wife, Lauren, has more education than 99.9% of the population. She’s a surgeon and put in four years of college, four years of medical school and more than a handful of years with her residency, fellowship, etc. She makes a shit-ton of money and, at age 50, is the walking Gen X embodiment of how far women have come because of what happened in the 1960s and 1970s. She’s a devoted wife and mother, and she has a feisty side to her.
Yet — yet — in bed, like in our marriage, she wants to be submissive. If I’m not pounding the shit out of her, using her holes as I like, she gets bored. She’s one wild bitch in the sack, and it took me a while to get used to her sexual proclivities. We’re 26 years into our life as a polyamorous couple and have also been swinging for 15 years.
Here are five things she loves in bed that may seem anathema to feminism but really aren’t because, as Lauren says, feminism means having the agency to choose to be submissive to and dominated by one’s lover:
Aggressive doggy-style sex
Because she loves deep, hard intercourse and I love to give that to her in spades, our position of choice is — and always has been — doggy-style. Doggy-style is foundational to the kind of sex we enjoy.
When a woman gets on her knees and puts her face down on the mattress, as Lauren does nearly every time we fuck, she knows exactly what she wants: to get pounded, whether it’s in her pussy or in her ass. “My holes,” as Lauren sometimes says in the heat of passion, “are all yours. You own them.”
With Lauren and me, doggy-style is the position we’re in 90% of the time, and it involves skin-slapping, headboard-banging intercourse. For her, the harder, deeper and rougher, the better. It takes a unique man to answer such a woman’s desires. Very few men really understand what it means to pound a woman, let alone how to do it. I’ve learned to embrace my wife’s desires and BDSM fetish and, in the process, have developed the requisite hip mobility and gluteal strength to hammer the bitch the way she desperately wants it.
Spanking
If it were just aggressive doggy-style sex, that wouldn’t be quite enough for Lauren. As I mentioned above, she has a BDSM fetish and enjoys being spanked hard, repeatedly and with kinky intentions. If her ass cheeks aren’t red after a good banging, I didn’t slap them hard enough.
“Who’s your daddy, bitch?” I’ll ask as I spank her ass while pounding the shit out of her in doggy-style.
“You are, daddy. Fuck me like your little bitch!” she’ll beg.
My little bitch, my little fuck toy.
And, by the way, a lot of women secretly want to be spanked. Our girlfriend of five years, Piper, like Lauren, loves it. Most guys are too afraid to ever go there with a woman, and very few women will ask to be spanked. Admittedly, spanking is a tough one to broach because it seems so counter to feminism, but the two actually can go hand in hand. The harder I spank Lauren and Piper, the more they like it.
Restraints
And it’s not just deep, hard doggy-style sex and spanking. Lauren likes for me to hold her down by the back of her neck, hold or cuff her wrists behind her back and generally find fun ways to restrain her so she feels like she’s all mine — like I’m having my way with her. Mix in some spanking, aggressive intercourse, restraints and naughty names and she’s a happy little slut.
Cuff her wrists to the head board, fuck her mouth and then blow my load all over her face? Bring it. Throat-fuck her like I own her? Bring it.
Yep, she has not only a BDSM fetish but also non-con fantasies.
Naughty names
To the sexually submissive woman, names matter. By calling me “daddy” and, occasionally, “sir,” “master” and “boss,” she’s acknowledging my sexual dominance over her.
“Bitch, call me daddy!”
“Okay, daddy. Whatever you say.”
I call her bitch, little bitch, slut, whore, cum dumpster, fuck toy, back-alley hooker and the list goes on and she loves it.
Very naughty playthings
A lot of couples have vibrators and maybe even dildos. We have those and love them, especially Lauren’s trusty wand vibrator, which we store in one of our nightstands. But in our world, playthings can be so naughty that secure storage, such as a safe, becomes necessary.
Open our safe and you’ll find anal plugs, whips, handcuffs and various restraints, neck chokers, a ball gag, a waterproof sex blanket for when I make the bitch squirt, flash drives with insanely graphic homemade sex tapes and more. These are the items that, if discovered, would bring someone to conclude that we’re a kinky-as-fuck couple — and we are — but they’re really about the dom/sub nature of our sex life together.
Putting an anal plug in Lauren’s ass exerts my control over her. Whipping and spanking the bitch says who’s boss. She loves to wear a neck choker because it makes her feel like she’s all mine. Finger her so aggressively that she squirts, which — even if it’s probably just urine — makes her feel an enjoyable release. Perhaps kinkiest of all, put a ball gag on her to keep the bitch quiet while I have my way with her — and she loves it.
It’s all good with her. She wants it.
More recently, because we love to shower together, she’s taken to enjoying golden showers. Yep, the bitch gets on her knees in the shower and asks me to piss all over her. It’s strange and yet I kind of get it because I do enjoy it when she squirts on me.
Just because a woman is a feminist doesn’t mean she desires gentle, equitable lovemaking. Some women, like Lauren, see wanting to be dominated as aligned with feminism because it’s a choice they make and a set of desires they have that they’re comfortable expressing to and acting on with their lovers. They’re confident enough to submit…or not.
