Sex, January 12th, Howard Stern & Me

“What is it about being born on January 12th that’s made us both so sex-obsessed?” asks the author of the SECRET SEX LIFE books.

6 min readJun 27, 2023

by I. J. Weinstock, author of the forthcoming memoir, FROM ASHES TO ANGELS: My Secret Sex Life.

Dear Howard,
When people ask me why I’ve written so many books about sex, I jokingly reply, “Maybe it’s because I’m born on January 12th, the same date as Howard Stern.”

But maybe it’s not a joke.

Since you’ve been a pioneer in the sexual revolution with your taboo-breaking talk about our “private parts”…I think we have a lot in common.

Over the past decade, I’ve written five books exploring the mystery we call “sex.” My fantasy series, THE SECRET SEX LIFE OF ANGELS, is an epic, erotic quest that a reader recently described as “containing some of the most extraordinary sex scenes ever written…or imagined!”

My nonfiction book, OUR SECRET SEX LIFE: The Key to Humanity’s Destiny, reveals the secrets we carry between our legs and the hidden connections between sex, society, and survival.

My recent articles raise some provocative and controversial questions: Is the porn-ification of Sex Ed a ticking time bomb? Is a “pussy” by any other name the same? Is our sexual shame manipulated for political gain? Did Jesus have a secret sex life? Can sex save us from the robots? Are we fucking up the world because our fucking is fucked up?!

So what is it about being born on 1/12 that’s made us both so sex-obsessed?

FUN FACT: Back in 1980, when you were first getting started in radio, I co-authored (with my then-wife) a book about women and their breasts that was the subject of an entire Donahue show. (Remember Phil, the Oprah of that time?) You would have loved interviewing us about the hundreds of women we talked to and photographed.

My “magnificent obsession” with sex began a few years later with a dream. Not a “wet dream,” but a biblical-scale “Jacob’s Ladder” of a dream in which “angels,” instead of ascending and descending a ladder to heaven, were engaged in a sacred sexual rite of worship crossing a bridge to…god knows where…

That dream rocked my world and changed the course of my life. It inspired a stranger-than-fiction journey during which:

— a DEAD BODY interrupted my lovemaking…and made me wish I’d never had my dream.

— a disembodied VOICE years later reminded me I had unfinished business with my dream.

— a “SEX QUEST” exploring various tantric paths revealed some of what I’d glimpsed in my dream.

— a series of extraordinary PARANORMAL SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS while grieving the loss of my wife, Joy, confirmed the “sexual revelations” I’d glimpsed on that dream bridge decades earlier.

Howard, I’ve learned that sex is much more fundamental and consequential than we realize, a defining aspect of our humanity.

Beyond procreation and pleasure, sex is the “source code” for society. How we conceive of, feel about, and engage in sex shapes relations between men and women, dictates the dynamics of family, and ultimately influences the values and structures of society.

Since our SEX OS is so fundamental and consequential, the “story” we tell ourselves about sex will determine the kind of society we create, the health of that society, and possibly even the fate of that society.

But our SEX OS has been corrupted by religious “bugs,” infected by patriarchal cultural “viruses,” and distorted by shame-based “malware.” In short, our SEX OS has been hacked! And the consequences are catastrophic!

Could our hacked SEX OS and the collective trauma of shame we’ve all inherited about this defining aspect of our humanity be the source of the self-inflicted existential crises we face? Can a specie ashamed of the way it creates new life survive? Are we fucking up the world because our fucking is fucked up?!

**OUR SECRET SEX LIFE: The Key to Humanity’s Destiny**

Howard, I wouldn’t have felt the freedom to do what I’ve done without listening to your groundbreaking radio show years ago, watching you on TV, and reading “Private Parts.” You laid the groundwork…you took the hits…you broke the taboos of oppression and repression surrounding sex in America. As Dave Letterman said, “You changed the culture.”

You’ve been a sexual pioneer. You’ve fought against censorship. You spoke about what was once considered unspeakable. And you paid the price! You’ve liberated our ability to talk frankly, even vulgarly, about sex. You opened up the possibilities of sexual freedom. And your taboo-breaking career has inspired many…including me.

I hate to get sentimental, but you’re a kind of “Godfather” to the books and articles I’ve written about sex.

I hope you’re curious about what you’ve inspired.

If anyone deserves to be the first in the mainstream media (most don’t have the balls) to talk about sex in a new way — to go deeper and penetrate the mystery — it’s you, the King of All Media.

You’ve had an enormously beneficial, even healing impact on our culture’s sexual shame. In many ways over the last few decades, you’ve brought sex out of the closet. Thanks to you, there’s been a seismic shift in how sex is talked about.

Here’s an opportunity to take your impact to the next level.

Howard, check out my work and see if you’d like to talk about any of it with me. I’d love to share our conversation with your audience. Only you can mainstream this urgently needed conversation. Not just for better sex lives but for society’s health and, ultimately, civilization’s survival.

As the cover of my fantasy series, THE SECRET SEX LIFE OF ANGELS, says: You’ll Never Look at Sex in the Same Way Again!