Honey Daiquiri Christmas Special!

Don’t expect me to be tweeting over Christmas, me and Jesus be like- “Happy Birthday dear Redeemer…

Honey Daiquiri

Break out your happy dance, it’s HD people! Now sober up immediately, we’ve got some serious subject matter to discuss…

Honey Daiquiri

I voted for the Independents because they didn’t have a logo and I felt sorry for them #waitaretheyracist?

Honey Daiquiri

Sisters are like VD, easy to get, and really annoying when you just want to take a pee in peace…

Honey Daiquiri

Feelings; an example of something really important that doesn’t matter. Like Lord Sugar. Or paying back your student loan #paradox…

Honey Daiquiri

“Don’t wound what you can’t kill”? Absolutely wound it, makes it harder for it to kill you! #logic #survival.

Honey Daiquiri

What’s the difference between Normal Cleaning & Christmas Cleaning? Normal Cleaning you make room for guests. Christmas Cleaning you…

Honey Daiquiri

‘I make sure I dress good when I go to see my sister, ‘cause I’m secretly hoping she’ll put out… Talking about food you guys. She…

Honey Daiquiri

When your Cat hisses at you for moving it off the couch and you have to remind it- “YOU ARE A PET!” #IDontSeeNoRingsOnYourCollar…

Honey Daiquiri

If you can’t make it work with the one you asked for then God help you when life is unexpected #theone is usually the one you’re…