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I’m Not a Helicopter Parent, I Just Hired the FBI to Track My Son’s Every Move

I’m Not a Helicopter Parent, I Just Hired the FBI to Track My Son’s Every Move

How to give your child independence while maintaining total federal surveillance
Go to the profile of Srini
Srini
Wedding Speech From the Sensible Bridesmaid and “Best Friend” in Your Average Rom-Com

Wedding Speech From the Sensible Bridesmaid and “Best Friend” in Yo...

I am now bankrupt and unemployed, but I’m glad you had a special day
Go to the profile of Laura-Liisa Klaas
Laura-Liisa Klaas
Scary Movies for Cats

Scary Movies for Cats

Horror that will make their fur stand on end
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Your Black Cat’s Terms for Agreeing to Participate in Halloween

Your Black Cat’s Terms for Agreeing to Participate in Halloween

No, you can not take a picture of me in a pumpkin
Go to the profile of Julie Vick
Julie Vick
Actually Scary Costume Ideas for 2024

Actually Scary Costume Ideas for 2024

What‘s scarier than an entry-level job listing requiring 5+ years of experience? No, I’m really asking.
Go to the profile of Aarushi Ahuja
Aarushi Ahuja
Seven Signs That You Might Be Dating a Flesh-Eating Narcissist

Seven Signs That You Might Be Dating a Flesh-Eating Narcissist

You understand the keto diet but this is taking it too far
Go to the profile of Justin Courter
Justin Courter
Selling Your Home? A Friendly Realtor’s Super Helpful Guide to Staging Your House

Selling Your Home? A Friendly Realtor’s Super Helpful Guide to Stag...

Get rid of everything, including the baby
Go to the profile of Amarie Skrzyp
Amarie Skrzyp
I’m Afraid I Can’t Process the Return of Your Used Monkey’s Paw

I’m Afraid I Can’t Process the Return of Your Used Monkey’s Paw

I wish I as a customer service rep could help you but it’s not my wish that matters
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Folktales Rewritten to Reflect Our Modern Times

Folktales Rewritten to Reflect Our Modern Times

“Once upon a time, Goldilocks had a Hinge date that made her so uncomfortable…”
Go to the profile of Amy Greenlee
Amy Greenlee
Nothing Says Personal Freedom Like Requiring a Cumbersome, Expensive, Deadly Vehicle

Nothing Says Personal Freedom Like Requiring a Cumbersome, Expensiv...

You must operate it in order to live in our ecologically catastrophic society
Go to the profile of Caleb Coy
Caleb Coy
A House Meeting with the Boomer Ghost Haunting My Millennial Home

A House Meeting with the Boomer Ghost Haunting My Millennial Home

We need to talk, this living arrangement just isn’t working for me.
Go to the profile of Stephanie Redmond
Stephanie Redmond
A Friendly Note About the Grocery Store Changes Our Shoppers Are Calling “A Descent into Hell”

A Friendly Note About the Grocery Store Changes Our Shoppers Are Ca...

You say it’s sadistic, we say it’s opportunistic
Go to the profile of Hollie Harris
Hollie Harris
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Thinks You Ought To Be A Bit Less Judgy About Its Diet

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Thinks You Ought To Be A Bit Less Judgy...

Just let a Lepidoptera eat, will you? I don’t make you feel bad about the garbage you stuff in your face.
Go to the profile of Aaron Chown
Aaron Chown
Ad for a Definitely Not-Haunted Doll From Your Local Buy Nothing Group

Ad for a Definitely Not-Haunted Doll From Your Local Buy Nothing Group

Ideally, she will want to stay with you forever and forget all about me
Go to the profile of Chelsea Resnick
Chelsea Resnick
Proof Your Local Grocery Store is Actually a Portal to Another Dimension

Proof Your Local Grocery Store is Actually a Portal to Another Dime...

The carts are sentient, trans-dimensional beings and other truths you don’t want to face
Go to the profile of Srini
Srini
7 Classic Book Recommendations from Someone Who Has Definitely Read These Books

7 Classic Book Recommendations from Someone Who Has Definitely Read...

I remember each one as if it were in front of me which it totally was at one point
Go to the profile of Nikolai Blazeski
Nikolai Blazeski
The Definitive Guide to What Food-Branded Perfume is Right for You

The Definitive Guide to What Food-Branded Perfume is Right for You

Personality and palate-pleasing perfumes for modern food and fornication lovers.
Go to the profile of Courtney Essary
Courtney Essary
Mr. Wonka, I Have Some Concerns About Your Business Ethics

Mr. Wonka, I Have Some Concerns About Your Business Ethics

You should have hired an attorney ages ago because you’re in deep chocolate
Go to the profile of Kayla Kurin
Kayla Kurin
I’m The Little Free Library And I’m Totally Judging You

I’m The Little Free Library And I’m Totally Judging You

Your choices say a lot about you. And it’s not all good.
Go to the profile of Stephanie D. Rondeau
Stephanie D. Rondeau
My Dog’s Daily Routine as Imagined by Me, His Owner

My Dog’s Daily Routine as Imagined by Me, His Owner

No wonder he’s getting burnt out
Go to the profile of Josh C.
Josh C.
Halloween Candy on Dating Apps

Halloween Candy on Dating Apps

Pick your sweet ending
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
I Followed Moo Deng’s Daily Routine, Here’s What I Learned

I Followed Moo Deng’s Daily Routine, Here’s What I Learned

Moo Deng and I have a lot in common
Go to the profile of Anna Pook
Anna Pook
I Am Sentencing Little Red Riding Hood to Life in Prison for the Murder of the Big Bad Wolf

I Am Sentencing Little Red Riding Hood to Life in Prison for the Mu...

In this country wolves are innocent until you can prove the girls are innocent
Go to the profile of Saba Khonsari
Saba Khonsari
An Honest ‘Studio for Rent’ Craigslist Ad in 2024

An Honest ‘Studio for Rent’ Craigslist Ad in 2024

If you think any of this is unfair, you should have bought a house when you were in middle school.
Go to the profile of Kari Goodbar
Kari Goodbar
We Greatly Appreciated the Chance To Review Your Submission, However It Sucks

We Greatly Appreciated the Chance To Review Your Submission, Howeve...

Perhaps you should consider a career that doesn’t involve words
Go to the profile of Brian Pinaire
Brian Pinaire
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