Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
Slackjaw
Medium humor. Large laughs.
About
Submit to Slackjaw
Resources
Humor Cheat Sheet
Follow
Hot Off The Internet Printing Press
14 Lines That Every TV Comedy Pilot Must Include
14 Lines That Every TV Comedy Pilot Must Include
“I knew there was a reason I went into teaching / medicine / hamster surgery!” The character establishes why they got started in this field.
Emily Menez
May 9
21st Century Duels
21st Century Duels
Historic accounts that spelled doom for the citizens of the 2000s.
Megan Sarnacki
May 8
Classic Literary Breakups I’d Like To Have (So I Can Write About Them)
Classic Literary Breakups I’d Like To Have (So I Can Write About Them)
I want to use my heartbreak to achieve fame and success!
Amy Currul
May 7
We Like You—Leave Your Husband At Home
We Like You—Leave Your Husband At Home
Good things never come in pairs.
M. Nathan Robinson
May 6
Ten Ways to Wear a Tauntaun to this Year’s Met Gala
Ten Ways to Wear a Tauntaun to this Year’s Met Gala
Whatever the theme of the Met Gala might be this year, I assure you that an outfit made from tauntaun will fit right in.
Adam Weigand
May 4
A Gen Z Guide To Calling The Doctor
A Gen Z Guide To Calling The Doctor
Much like a vaccine shot, phone calls are scary.
Kenny Reilly
May 3
Self-Improvement Books That Beg To Be Written
Self-Improvement Books That Beg To Be Written
Because there’s always room and money for self-improvement.
Phil Witte
May 2
More Heehee's and Hoohoo's
My First Time Moving In With A Boy
My First Time Moving In With A Boy
Things got a little shaky at first…
Kelly Shanley
May 1
I’m A ‘90s Rock Star Trying To Make A Comeback, And I’ve Been Encouraged To Apologize For A Few…
I’m A ‘90s Rock Star Trying To Make A Comeback, And I’ve Been Encou...
Rumors that I used to sleep with underage fans are both appalling and, most importantly, unprovable.
Lisa Borders
May 1
It’s Leg Day
It’s Leg Day
Today is a day for legs.
Bradley Meyers
Apr 30
She’s A 10, But She Has Food Allergies
She’s A 10, But She Has Food Allergies
My girl has got it all. Looks, brains, personality, kindness, and unfortunately, these damn food allergies that just don’t quit.
Adam Dietz
Apr 29
Citations Issued By The Office Grammar Police
Citations Issued By The Office Grammar Police
For offensive misuse of the English language
Jennifer Haubrich
Apr 29
An Inquiry Regarding The Omission Of “Nap Time”
An Inquiry Regarding The Omission Of “Nap Time”
Please advise: Our sanity is at stake.
Alice M. Phillips
Apr 28
“Am I A Saint?” Your Grocery Store Cashier Will Now Tell You
“Am I A Saint?” Your Grocery Store Cashier Will Now Tell You
Grocery store cashiers are now officially trained morality judges.
Ruth Fish
Apr 27
Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight, Revised For Theatrical Release In China
Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight, Revised For Theatrical Release In ...
The Ministry of Propaganda approves.
Caleb Coy
Apr 26
Meditations That Will Make You Go From Hating Everyone To Just Most Everyone
Meditations That Will Make You Go From Hating Everyone To Just Most...
I will surround myself with others who exude loving-kindness, which does not include anyone at this improv show.
Emily Menez
Apr 25
Clickbait Headlines for Train Enthusiasts
Clickbait Headlines for Train Enthusiasts
This Train is 50, but looks 15 — Locomotive Manufacturers Hate It!
Adam Dietz
Apr 24
Office Busybody Can’t Do It Alone, But Manages Anyway
Office Busybody Can’t Do It Alone, But Manages Anyway
She just needed someone to step up and bring the cutlery.
Joe Bee
Apr 24
We’re Seeking A Rockstar Copywriter To Meet Our Company’s Impossible Demands
We’re Seeking A Rockstar Copywriter To Meet Our Company’s Impossibl...
Join our amazing family!
Emily Knapp
Apr 23
Holden Caulfield Reviews Plant-Based Proteins
Holden Caulfield Reviews Plant-Based Proteins
The only thing impossible about this burger was goddamn terrible it tasted.
Adam Dietz
Apr 22
Signs This Group Is Definitely Not A Cult
Signs This Group Is Definitely Not A Cult
We prefer the term “self-supporting collective of absolute devotion.”
Jennifer Haubrich
Apr 22
What’s Inside Your Baby
What’s Inside Your Baby
Now with 40 percent less sugar/spice
Ross Murray
Apr 21
“The Simpsons” Just Hasn’t Been Funny Since I Watched Matt Groening Beat My Dad To Death
“The Simpsons” Just Hasn’t Been Funny Since I Watched Matt Groening...
My theory on when “The Simpsons” jumped the shark.
Patrick Coyne
Apr 20
What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership
What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership
He’s really, really trying to do the right thing.
Jeff King
Apr 19
I’m The Time Estimate On The New “Weeknight” Recipe You’re Making, And I’m Brazenly Lying To Your…
I’m The Time Estimate On The New “Weeknight” Recipe You’re Making, ...
Prepare to say goodbye to everyone and everything you’ve ever loved.
JRR Jokien
Apr 18
The Pickiest Tech-Bro In Town
The Pickiest Tech-Bro In Town
It’s time for a throwback edition of FLOPB: The Bad Dates.
Kelly Shanley
Apr 17
An Excerpt From My Fawning Biography Of An Obviously Deranged Billionaire
An Excerpt From My Fawning Biography Of An Obviously Deranged Billi...
As soon as I started writing this book, I knew it would make the one I wrote about Einstein look like the biography of an illiterate baby.
David Guzman
Apr 17
The Wokest Public School Parent Council Has A Very Effective Meeting
The Wokest Public School Parent Council Has A Very Effective Meeting
Voted most progressive Parent Council four years in a row!
Lisa Hides
Apr 16
I Crave Your Clothes Inside Me — A Love Note From Your Hotel Room Dresser
I Crave Your Clothes Inside Me — A Love Note From Your Hotel Room D...
If the furniture could talk
Jimmy Ho
Apr 15
I Thought I Was Using AI To Write My Novel, But It’s Just A Guy Named “Al”
I Thought I Was Using AI To Write My Novel, But It’s Just A Guy Nam...
I typed a defiant “?” followed by a more prodding “????????”
rob white
Apr 14
Things I Say To My Kidnapper To Humanize Myself
Things I Say To My Kidnapper To Humanize Myself
“That is such a chic ski mask… where did you get it? From Forever 21? Wow!”
Carly Gibson
Apr 13
Welcome To The Emergency Room, Your Stay Will Be Unforgettable
Welcome To The Emergency Room, Your Stay Will Be Unforgettable
Here in the Emergency Room, we aim to make every customer’s stay a unique and unforgettable experience.
Oscar Wallis
Apr 12
About Slackjaw
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams