Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
If Our Sex Life Had This Level Of Stats
If Our Sex Life Had This Level Of Stats
Oh what a tale it might tell.
Christine Stevens
Aug 27
Where the Fuck Did Summer Go?
Where the Fuck Did Summer Go?
A whole season gone in a flash.
Ryan Redmond
Aug 27
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 120
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 120
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Aug 27
Threats of Modern Paranoia
Threats of Modern Paranoia
Beware of Strangers
Indra Raj Pathak
Aug 27
RFK Jr. Once Decapitated A Dead Whale With A Chainsaw
RFK Jr. Once Decapitated A Dead Whale With A Chainsaw
Kennedy told his family, “Why I have ‘half a mind’ to take this dead whale’s head home with me.”
Johnny Robish
Aug 26
An Erotic Story
An Erotic Story
For three months, I had been walking a standard poodle for a rich lady on The Upper West Side. I needed the money, and Sassy had plenty of…
Royal Alvis
Aug 26
The Lovers
The Lovers
The young docent, Simone, led her group into the final gallery of the tour. They gasped at seeing the museum’s most popular painting, ‘The…
John K Adams
Aug 26
Top Reasons I Finally Had To Change My Wallet
Top Reasons I Finally Had To Change My Wallet
I Fought My Ass And My Ass Won….
David Volk
Aug 26
Top 20 Ways to Mispronounce Kamala
Top 20 Ways to Mispronounce Kamala
With bonus parenthetical jokes
John Corten
Aug 26
Passive-Aggressive Fun With Fascists
Passive-Aggressive Fun With Fascists
Because it makes my day to ruin theirs.
Catherine Durkin Robinson
Aug 26
My Personal Reaction to Gus Walz’s Very Personal Reaction to His Dad
My Personal Reaction to Gus Walz’s Very Personal Reaction to His Dad
A response to Conservative media pundit Ann Coulter she will never read, nor even ever hear about
Speaking Fiction To Power
Aug 26
Join Our “Adopt a Fire” Program
Join Our “Adopt a Fire” Program
and keep the world burning
Sarah Totton
Aug 26
Scientists: There Is No Life After Death
Scientists: There Is No Life After Death
Nor is there a God. There also is no other intelligent life in the universe. We are utterly alone, on a journey with one and only one…
Clem Samson
Aug 25
My Hot New Move: The Music Made Me Do It
My Hot New Move: The Music Made Me Do It
Losing my dance floor dignity
Christa Kiesling
Aug 25
Things Taylor Swift Could Influence Instead of the Election
Things Taylor Swift Could Influence Instead of the Election
Is she truly “Fearless”?
Brian Buseck
Aug 24
LIFESTYLE OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS – From the Ritz to the Rubble
LIFESTYLE OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS – From the Ritz to the Rubble
Back to Dog Town
Matt Youth
Aug 24
An Existential Crisis at the Cat Café
An Existential Crisis at the Cat Café
Am I truly unloveable
Victor Yocco, PhD
Aug 24
In Wake of Triumphant Convention, Dems Announce Launch of “The Kamala H-Eras” Tour
In Wake of Triumphant Convention, Dems Announce Launch of “The Kamala H-Eras” Tour
Late Thursday night, a sea of red, white and blue balloons floating from the ceiling of Chicago’s United Center signaled the conclusion of…
Rich Taylor
Aug 24
Another Open Letter To Starbucks
Another Open Letter To Starbucks
If Fall Can Begin With PSL, Why Can’t Winter Begin With ENL.
David Volk
Aug 24
Raw Milk Influencer Also Diarrhea Influencer
Raw Milk Influencer Also Diarrhea Influencer
DALLAS, TX — Raw milk influencer Ryan Yorkel, founder of Make America Diarrhea Again (MADA), recently came forward as a diarrhea…
S.L. Neechski
Aug 24
Nutty Ain’t Slutty, And Crazy Ain’t Lazy.
Nutty Ain’t Slutty, And Crazy Ain’t Lazy.
What exactly is weird these days?
Robert Cormack
Aug 24
Isla helps me find the good in the bad
Isla helps me find the good in the bad
I like trying to turn things that I find annoying into things that I like… let alone love. I’m not doing it to be in a state of denial. I’m…
Lara Starsearch
Aug 23
Kamala Pushes Radical Communist Agenda At DNC
Kamala Pushes Radical Communist Agenda At DNC
“Workers of the world unite!”
Brian Theobald
Aug 23
Kamala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ti-da!!! Kamala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ti-da!!!
Kamala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ti-da!!! Kamala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ti-da!!!
The best lines from the DNC, and more unhinged ranting from a man who can’t get his crowd size up.
Ross Rosenfeld
Aug 23
No, I Won’t “Write You on WhatsApp,” Ms Artful Dodger Spammer in the Comments
No, I Won’t “Write You on WhatsApp,” Ms Artful Dodger Spammer in the Comments
But nice try — humour and a warning to our wonderful community in one piece. I must be feeling public spirited today
Mike Hickman
Aug 23
Code Words To Surmise You’re Talking To My Clone, And Not Me
Code Words To Surmise You’re Talking To My Clone, And Not Me
No complaints, really!
Mayur Chauhan
Aug 23
It’s Time For the Harris/Walz Campaign to Go To The Dogs
It’s Time For the Harris/Walz Campaign to Go To The Dogs
It would be music to our country’s ears
Speaking Fiction To Power
Aug 23
Expressing Your Road Rage When You’re Too Scared To Honk The Horn
Expressing Your Road Rage When You’re Too Scared To Honk The Horn
For many of us, conflict can be scary. Nobody wants to write a difficult email or confront their roommate about her live-in boyfriend who…
Mara Macduff
Aug 23
BIG NEWS- COMPUTER EXPERTS REVEAL THAT DONALD TRUMP IS ACTUALLY AN AI GENERATED FAKE!
The ruse lasted so long it’s unbelievable, just as the revealed truth is equally unbelievable, and equally true. Computer experts have…
Roger Freed
Aug 23
I Am Sam, The Kitty Who Ran Away 11 Years Ago
I Am Sam, The Kitty Who Ran Away 11 Years Ago
Here’s the real reason I left that cat lady.
Christine Stevens
Aug 22
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams