Riverdale: This Show’s Reached New Levels of Extra
Season 2, Episode 7
Greetings, folks, and welcome to The Queue’s official coverage of Riverdale season two. The seventh episode of season two had Sheriff Keller’s sweaty body, Black women taking the damn lead (FINALLY), and almost no parents (THANK GOD), so let’s dive in.
If you’re still catching up on what this is and who I am and what Riverdale is, I suggest this post, this post, and this post.
And here are my other recaps thus far: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6.
And obviously, spoilers follow, so don’t read ahead if you hate knowing shit.
Episode Overview in Haiku Form
Y’all know I dig a haiku:
I need a damn drink.
This episode did the most.
The sheriff’s bod though.
The 5X5
This section breaks down the top five things you need to know from this episode:
- Jughead becomes a drug mule after hearing from Penny Peabody that he needs to do this to save his father FP, who was beaten up in prison. For whatever reason, Jughead decided not to check in with FP before trafficking narcotics, and no surprise here, Penny lied about Jug’s dad being injured because she’s in some sort of feud with FP and is using Jughead as payback. Or something. It’s confusing as hell.
- Josie is dealing with a stalker and Cheryl is implicated and everything is weird but I’m just happy that Ashleigh Murray got the screen time she DESERVES.
- Mayor McCoy and Sheriff Keller are having an affair, and Veronica was right on the money in calling it. Not much to say except that Martin Cummins could open up a successful laundry service on the washboard he calls his abs.
- Betty’s gunning hard for Sheriff Keller to be the Black Hood, and she’s disappointed to find that he’s just as obsessed with catching him as she is (which makes sense since he works in law enforcement, I suppose).
- We had all sorts of bizarre characters in this episode, including some odd older lady who’s trafficking drugs to and from Riverdale, the return of Penny Peabody, and the guy who gave Jughead a ride and then called him a sinner at a diner on the side of the road. Like I said, it was confusing as hell.
Camila Mendes Eyebrows Update
My own eyebrows did a raise when Veronica made one of her classic references that there’s no way she’d know as a child theoretically born in the 2000s: “Poor Kevin. He’s like a character in a Tennessee Williams play.”
Ohhhhhhhhh-kay, V. We all believe you know who Tennessee Williams is.
The Most Interesting Thing Archie Did in This Episode
Ah, y’all know I loved this episode for the fact that there was a severe lack of Archie. Archie was totally in his element: Being all naive and earnest while literally trafficking drugs with Jughead. That’s the way it should be.
And while we’re spending our 12 seconds on Archie (again, that’s ideal), let me just say that I loved the truck convo between Archiekins and Jug. It’s also adorable that Jughead thinks the East Village “doesn’t exist anymore” or that him and Archie could afford to live there, but I digress.
Artsy White Fuckboy Jughead Line of the Week
Jughead referring to Tony Todd, the man in the pickup truck, as “Mr. American Gothic” was pretty good.
You can always count on Jughead to crack a wise guy reference while he’s being implicated in a drug trafficking ring, fending off blood feuds within his own gang, and continuing to be friends with Archie despite Archie literally getting him into this latest mess with his Ghoulies bullshit.
Pretentious Film Observation of the Week
I took exactly one film class in college during my freshman year and I’m trying to pretend I learned things from it that I still remember.
Ten seconds into this episode and we already knew the Riverdale writers were trying to be more ambitious with their storytelling and cinematic elements. Instead of our usual pot of Hot Ass Mess soup, we got three very compartmentalized vignettes over the course of the same 48 hours.
So, did this format work? Yes and no.
One thing I liked was the focus on, you know, the teens. Long-time readers of my Riverdale posts (all three of you) know I’m not here for the extraneous stuff with the parents and all their repetitive drama. Yes, Mayor McCoy and Sheriff Keller were more prominently featured in this episode, but their stories were still dependent on their kids and their kids’ friends. And I’d prefer them over yet another menacing glance between Hiram and Hermione Lodge.
I also think this format further exaggerated the absolute “CW-ness” this show has embraced with its second season. There’s a new level of absolute absurdity with Riverdale now, and writers owned that by turning up the campiness to a level over 9,000 this week.
In terms of issues with the overly dramatized format (y’all, that soundtrack was some stuff straight out of Psycho), there’s nothing new here we haven’t dealt before. My biggest problem going into next week is something I highlighted last week: The show’s Red John problem. The mythicism surrounding the Black Hood is reaching levels that’ll be virtually impossible for any actual character to match, and I’m not sure how good this reveal will eventually be.
One thing I’m sure of, however, is that I’m already pretty damn tired of the Black Hood, and we’re only seven episodes in. If this plot is going to take up the entire first half of this season (and Lord help us if it bleed into the back half), y’all will have to excuse me while I take a nap.
Also, our current national nightmare has made me sooooooo over imposing “moral” white dudes ruining shit. Bye, Black Hood.
Analysis ’n’ Stuff
This is the section where I give my random thoughts and track a few things throughout the series.
What in the Whaaaat Was That Opening?
I’m not going to lie: When the old time-y font appeared on the screen, I was very skeptical. But I’m kind of digging this “three smaller vignettes” format. It’s refreshing. I’ll give the Riverdale writers props for doing something different.
Yes, I Do Love Bughead
I don’t understand how Alice Cooper hasn’t spontaneously combusted from Betty spending her nights at Jughead’s, but okay. And once again, I have to repeat that Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart have really excellent chemistry.
We Finally Got Some Damn Josie
Looks like someone on the Riverdale writers team has been reading their feminist social theory. “I don’t date, especially not chauvinistic, misogynistic harassers of women like you,” Josie tells Chuck Clayton when he tries to ask her out. All about it.
Josie’s vignette was so stacked with incredible Black women. Mayor McCoy held her own, and Valerie Brown got in some much-needed lines when she confronted Josie: “Women are supposed to treat each other better than this.” YES, VALERIE. YES THEY ARE.
Also, not going to lie: Whenever I see Chuck Clayton, I just see Jordan Calloway playing Emma Roberts’ best friend on Unfabulous, which was some Quality Mid-2000s Television™.
All of this said, I’m not the biggest fan of the false accusation subplot in this vignette. I’m not here for a Chuck Clayton redemption storyline, especially in our current cultural and political climate. If that’s where the writers are trying to go with the plot, they can keep it.
What Was Up With That Janitor?
I didn’t catch his name, but what was up with the multiple shots of that janitor watching Josie get harassed? That dude went from zero to way up on my list of Black Hood suspects.
And why does this show keep bringing in and taking out random new quaternary characters every episode? Y’all already have so many freaking people. Just make the folks you’ve already introduced do crazy shit.
Sheriff Keller and Mayor McCoy?
Really? Okay, I need to stop myself from drooling while I fall sleep. Snooooore.
And once again, Kevin wasn’t really anywhere to be found. We should start calling him Gretchen Weiners, because they’ve got none for him.
