The World Is Fucking Insane

Exploring aisles 9-13 at my local supermarket.

Caught Catching A Beat

Two Heads, One Heart (Part 2)

I first discovered masturbation at about the same time online pornography was rising to prominence. Mine is the first generation to come of age with such broad and easy access to photos and videos, and it was…

An Open Letter to Kanye West from the Association of French Bakers

Regarding Croissants in “I am a…

Breakfast: A Manifesto

A Scientific Argument by Reference to Historical, Political, and Cultural…

A Partial List of the Words Motorola Does Not Want You to Engrave on Your Moto X

3 year olds are assholes

Put your arms up. Enjoy the ride. Feel free to scream. Don’t puke.

I always heard about the “terrible 2′s”. In my mind I imagined at 24 months my little guy would turn into a ‘NO!’ shouting, temper tantrum having…

The Legend of Deer Camp Pizza

It’s been a bit since I last blogged because, in truth, I haven’t been involved in anything blog-worthy in…

Local Library Would Like to Remind Everyone Its Shit Is Free

I Spent an Hour Away From the Internet

(And I almost survived)

How much money did Amazon really lose today?

This irresponsible math has to stop