Kind vs Nice

Kind vs Nice

I think there’s a difference between kind and nice. Sometimes, nice people are not kind because they want something in return. Approval, acceptance, money? I find that nice is not consistent sometimes. Or it’s contingent on something. Nice can be loaded, false, on…

Embracing Single

When faced with the pain and anxiety of suddenly having to get used to being alone, it’s important to begin shifting your mindset to life being about you. It’s hard. It doesn’t happen all at once. For me, when I finally decided to think about the freedoms and the release I get from breaking free of…

Why I Requested a Therapist that Would Call Me on My Bullshit After 20 Years of Depression

One of my first steps to getting well was entering talk therapy. I had seen multiple therapists previously and worked with them for long periods of time. Even after spending…

When ‘My Fucking Feelings’ Come Full Circle

Today was the first wellness pop up for SHFT and nearly 300 people showed up to experience SHFT in person. So instead of knowing SHFT from behind a computer or phone screen, Catalysts, tribe members, and community members got together for networking…

The Two Types of Love

First, I believe there are two types of love. Healthy and unhealthy. Unhealthy love is being powerless, selfish, and enabling. It has no boundaries. Unhealthy love is unconditional and yet contingent. It is immature, irresponsible, and dependent. Unhealthy love is urgent. There is a…

Nine Ways to Stop Hurting Yourself

First you must make the decision to stop hurting yourself. Then, you must do the work.

I do a lot of shit to hurt myself. Without thinking I berate and belittle. My inner self talk is negative and hurtful. I am impatient with myself. I don’t…

Four Things That Separate The Men From The Boys

Years ago, while working at a non-profit and treating teenagers struggling with addiction, I learned that what they all had in common was an absent father. Either dad was not in the picture or he was emotionally unavailable. The result was blurred…

The 3 Keys to Changing Your Story

Are you ready to change your story?

Sounds so simple, but that was where I started. I needed to tell myself and the world a new version.

Four Steps to Forgiving Someone Who’s Hurt You

How do you forgive someone who is not sorry or will never apologize? What if the person who hurt you did it on purpose?