“I Love to Suck Dick.” My Wife and Our Polyamorous Girlfriend Tell All About Blowjobs
They don’t hold back on their attitudes toward giving head, swallowing, the facial and more.
Who doesn’t love giving and receiving a blowjob? Our polyamorous lover, Piper, can hardly get through the morning without sucking my dick (more on that below). It’s one of my wife Lauren’s favorite ways to show me her love.
Because all things blowjob get tons of interest on my Medium page — and on Medium in general — I was eager to ask Lauren and Piper about their experiences with and attitudes toward fellatio. Although I thought I knew my wife’s sexual history quite well, she surprised me with a few of her answers. Piper, too, had some surprises.
Enjoy!
First things first. How do you feel about sucking cock? Lauren, you go first.
L: How do I feel about it? Well, duh, I love to do it.
P: Agree with her. I love it.
What do you enjoy more? Giving a blowjob or eating pussy?
L: OMG. You’re going to make me choose? You can’t compare the two. Not an either/or to me. I like both.
P: Agree with her. Grant, both are oral sex, but they’re very different. Giving a blowjob is hot but it’s not as sensuous as going down on your lovely wife.
Piper, it seems like anytime you stay the night with us and we wake up together the next morning, you have this almost insatiable desire to blow me. Lucky me! What’s the deal with that?
P: I can stop if you want [winking]? I don’t know why I have that desire in the early mornings. Maybe it’s that I’m typically quite horny and eager to please in the mornings? Or maybe it’s that you wake up with a huge hard-on and that gets me hot. I’m glad you’re happy to let me act on it. I guess that makes you and Tim [her boyfriend] lucky.
He and I are lucky! I mean, you once blew me in the Tesla while it was charging. That was fun!
P: What can I say? I love to suck dick. And so does she [pointing at Lauren].
L: That’s true on both counts. And, oh yeah, I’m a car girl, too. Remember the blowjob in the back of the limo after we got married and were on the way to the reception? That was so naughty!
How could I forget, darling? And, yes, that was very naughty— but also lots of fun. How old were both of you when you gave your first blowjob?
L: Sixteen.
P: Seventeen.
What was it like?
L: I was dating the guy. It happened in his bedroom after school one day. I didn’t know what I was doing but I really wanted to do it. At first, he said it hurt because of my teeth. So then I quickly figured out — kind of on the fly — that I had to better use my tongue and lips and from there it was easy and fun, though my mouth got really tired. I loved it.
P: Kind of the same. It was with a boyfriend at the time and in my bedroom. I wanted to do it for him and I watched some porn to better understand how to do it — you can say I did some “research.” It went pretty smoothly. I love it, too.
Swallow?
L: Oh yeah.
P: Yeah.
So what you’re saying is…I wasn’t the first guy you both blew?
L: Afraid not, darling.
P: She said it.
Give any hand-jobs before the first blowjob?
L: Actually, yeah, but it was for the same guy.
P: Yeah, same guy.
Hand-jobs are under-rated. Anyway, at what age did you feel totally confident in your BJ skills — that you could suck cock with expertise?
P: Pretty quickly. Not long after the first time.
L: I felt confident within a year.
What’s it like when a guy ejaculates in your mouth? What’s the taste like? Piper, you first.
P: You would know [winking]? It’s very exciting. Sometimes it comes out hard, like in spurts, and hits the back of my throat. I love that. Sometimes it just kind of flows out. Sometimes it’s a lot, sometimes not so much. I like a lot. Anyway, it’s always salty and warm and occasionally pungent. I don’t mind the taste, and it goes down easy.
L: She said it well. It’s a turn-on to know I made you feel that good. It’s warm and the taste is usually salty and sometimes bitter. Like she said, sometimes more, sometimes less. I like a big load. And, yeah, it goes down smoothly. A girl can choose to love semen or hate it. I’m not going to say it’s as good as Bailey’s Irish Cream. It isn’t. I decided early on to love semen even if it’s kind of not so delish.
Your view on a woman sucking her man’s cock?
L: I’m not going to tell a woman what she should do or not do for her man, but I enjoy doing it and recommend it.
P: Same. Up to the woman but I like to do it and advise it.
Okay, be honest. By the time you’d graduated from college, how many guys had you blown on a casual-sex basis but didn’t fuck?
P: Blew but didn’t fuck? Oh, let’s see. I’d really have to think about that. More than I care to admit. Maybe 15, and that includes high school and college. A few more in grad school.
L: Yeah, lots. In both high school and college, quite a few guys. It’s what a lot of girls did in those years. The 90s were kind of the decade of the blowjob. Then more in medical school before we met. Probably 25–30 guys.
Let the record show that since med school, my wife’s blown — and had sex with— no fewer than 400 guys, almost all of them married. Gotta love the swinger lifestyle, huh?
L: True. And let the record show my husband has fucked about the same number of women!
P: Incredible.
Back to the guys you blew by the end of college, medical school, grad school, etc. Swallow or spit?
L: Always been a swallower.
P: Me, too.
What made you swallowers?
P: No idea. Maybe peer pressure?
L: I never thought about an alternative to swallowing. If I spit, where would I spit? Easier to swallow.
In your high school and college years, if a guy liked you and you liked him, is it fair to say you’d have been happy to blow him?
L: In general, yeah.
P: Same.
Would you have let him fuck you, too?
P: We’d need to be a relationship.
L: Not necessarily but in a relationship is ideal.
Ever get caught in the act of blowing a guy?
L: Yeah. Once, a guy’s sister walked in on us. And I mean really walked in on us. She was his older sister and had a boyfriend, so she was cool about it and didn’t say anything. Another time, a guy’s mother busted us. She actually didn’t make a big deal of it and quickly left the room. I was mortified.
P: My mom almost caught me once, and I think she knew what I was doing to the guy, but she didn’t see us in the act. Other than that, never.
Ever give a risky blowjob where you could have been easily busted?
L: Yeah. Once, I blew a guy I liked in the back of a van while his family sat in front of us. I was about 17 and it was dark out, but that was so risky and slutty. Perfect example of how swallowing avoids messes. As you know, I also blew a resident when I was a medical student and his girlfriend was at the party. He went down on me, too. We hooked up several times after that. I’m totally not proud of that, by the way.
P: The Tesla charging station BJ was kind of risky, no? When I was a teenager, I blew a few guys in my bedroom or theirs, hoping to god no one walked in on us. No one ever did. In college and grad school, I lived alone so I always had a private room where fun could happen and no one would walk in.
The key to giving a great blowjob?
L: When I massage a guy’s balls while blowing him — like you! — his pleasure goes up exponentially. Guys also seem to respond to being deep-throated. But the big one is eye contact; they like to be pleasured by a woman with the confidence to look them in their eyes.
P: I can’t deep-throat the way she can but I agree on eye contact. Honestly, I think the key is actually wanting to do it. If the guy knows you want to do it for him, that makes all the difference.
How quickly can you make a guy cum if you’re blowing him — your goal being to make him ejaculate ASAP?
L: Depends on the guy but if the goal is to just make him cum as quickly as possible, under 5 minutes.
P: Yeah, probably under 5 minutes.
Ideal length of time for a good BJ?
P: Probably 8–10 minutes.
L: For me, 10–12 minutes. Beyond that, my mouth gets tired.
Do you like for a guy to watch you blow him or would you rather he not observe?
L: I love it when you — or any guy — watches.
P: Definitely watch.
Would you rather blow a guy with a big cock (7–8+ inches), medium-sized cock 5–6 inches) or smaller cock (under 5)?
L: The big guy provided he also has good girth.
P: Yeah, the big guy and yes to girth. Tim is about six inches, but he’s got nice girth. But don’t tell him I said that!
Ha! Why do you prefer a bigger cock?
P: Way more fun when he’s big. You’ve spoiled me, darling.
L: Yep. She said it. And yeah, you’ve spoiled both of us.
So big cocks are a yes?
P: Oh, yeah.
L: Totally.
I’m seven inches so I’m big but not huge. Anyway, if you’re giving a guy head, would you prefer to swallow or let him go for the facial?
P: Both are okay but I prefer to swallow. Less messy. No cleanup. More intimate. But if the guy really wants the facial, it’s usually okay with me.
L: I much prefer a guy cum in my mouth. I actually enjoy swallowing, and the taste doesn’t usually bother me. I’m okay if he wants to cum on my face but only if I can get cleaned up. Also, he needs to avoid my eyes, up my nose and ideally my hair. And, please, don’t jack off on my face. That’s demeaning. Let me take care of you.
Lauren, we had oral sex on our third date. Any regrets about how soon?
L: No. You?
Fuck no! What’s it like taking turns together blowing me?
L: So fun. One of my favorite things.
P: Agree. Super fun. And, by the way, having oral sex on your third date is definitely fast but it’s not crazy. How long until you all had full-on sex?
L: The next day we made love for the first time.
P: Very nice.
Has a guy ever jacked off on your faces?
L: Yeah, and you’ve done that, too!
P: Yep. And you also jacked off on my face before.
I got carried away — sorry. What’s it like when you get a big facial?
L: So long as it’s not in my eyes or in my nose, I like it. Guys enjoy the facial; I get it. Even though it’s porn-driven….
P: I agree with what she said about the facial. I like it but not in my eyes, please. By the way, guys, don’t jack off on your woman’s face. Let her take care of you.
So I’ve accidentally hit both of you in your eyes……
L: Accidents happens.
P: You didn’t mean it.
When did you both get your first facials, who did it and how did you feel about it?
L: A boyfriend. I was 20 and in college at the time. It was surprising and he doused me but I was okay with it.
P: I was 17 or 18 and in high school. He was a boyfriend. And I liked it, but I was a little confused as to why he preferred that over me swallowing. He wanted the visual experience.
If a guy is fucking you, how do you feel about him pulling out and going for the facial?
L: Not a huge fan except if I’m with lots of guys at once. Then it becomes a must.
P: Me, either.
Or pulls out and does it in your mouth?
P: So long as he pulls out of my vagina and not my ass, I’ll go along with that, but not a huge fan. Then again, in the mouth prevents messes. No ass to mouth — that’s a redline for me.
L: It’s happened so many times over the years that I’m now like, whatever. I’m okay with it. And agree on no ass to mouth.
What about a guy fucking your mouth? I’ve done that many times — I admit it. Your thoughts?
L: I love it when you do that. Not every time but sometimes it’s fun for you to go hard and deep that way.
P: I also like it, but I can’t deep-throat quite the way she can so….
And cum-eating…what’s that like?
L: What do you mean?
P: Yeah?
Licking it up. Eating a creampie. Eating it from a bagel. That kind of thing.
L: I love it, but the bagel thing was ridiculous. We got so carried away on that.
P: You guys need to tell me about the bagel thing. Anyway, me, too. I’ll eat cum, but I need to be in the right frame of mind to do that.
So when we had our fans site, we got very fetishy and I came on a bagel and she ate it. I also came in her coffee and she drank it. Kind of gross but it was to drive an audience.
P: Wow! That’s wild.
Yeah. So, you ladies are cock-sucking sluts!
P: Yep!
L: Oh, yeah!
Last question: The annual birthday blowjob is coming (pun intended). Last year, Lauren, you won, but it’s always close. Any “mean girls” trash talking on who’s gonna win this year?
L: Since I’m the queen bee when it comes to the blowjob, is there any question who’s going to prevail this year? Like, hello, it’s going to be me.
P: I’m going to refrain from trash talking with this bitch because we already know who’s the real queen of sucking dick— me.
L: Whatever slut [flicking her hair at Piper].
P: Whatever bitch [flicking her hair at Lauren].
Fun! So will it be a return of “mean girls”?
P: Totally.
L: Yep.
I lied when I said that was the last question. Here’s the actual last question. Who’s in the mood to suck my dick right now?
L: Ooooh, I am.
P: Am I ever not in the mood? I’m in.
Thank you, ladies. It’s good to be me.
P: Yes, it is.
L: You are a lucky guy for sure, but I’m a lucky girl, too.
