My wife briefly tries to teach me basic skin care
“You’re being creepy,” my wife whispered. “Stop it.”
We were sitting next to each other on an airplane that hadn’t left the gate. I was within my ultra narrow economy seat space, and I knew better than to bring up the Mile High Club until the seatbelt sign was off.
“How am I being creepy?” I asked.
“You’re staring at me from a foot away. Stop it.”
“I’m trying to figure out what you’re doing,” I admitted.
Allie had been diligently applying sunscreen to her face and neck. …
And ten minutes ago, I was the coolest dad ever
“So how was your first dance?”
My daughter nodded and avoided eye contact. For a twelve-year-old, that’s a positive response.
“Any particularly fun moments?” I continued.
“It was really dark,” Ricki shrugged. “So you couldn’t see people dance.”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“Of course, Dad! Look how bad you dance and you’ve had centuries to practice. We’re in junior high, so nobody knows what they’re doing. Dark is good.”
I nodded and avoided eye contact. For a parent, that’s the end of the conversation.
“And there was this one song I really liked,” Ricki continued. …
Should I encourage or discourage my kids from scaling the house?
I walked into Ricki’s room and froze. Rushing toward my daughters would startle them, maybe fatally. I chose my words carefully.
“Ricki! Josie! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
My twelve-year-old looked back through the window.
“Uh… hi Dad,” Ricki said. “Don’t worry. We’re being safe.”
“Walking on a slanted roof is never safe! Get back in here!”
“But we are safe,” Ricki insisted. “Look, I tied Josie to the window frame.”
My ten-year-old came to the window and smiled. She had a rope around her waist. …