Matt Walsh – Medium

Matt Walsh

Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

Injuries decimate pro Tiddlywinks squad. “It’s next man up!”

It’s been a rough year for the Baltimore Bearcats Tiddlywinks team. Injuries to four of the squad’s top eight players will make winning…

3 min readJun 9, 2024

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Injuries decimate pro Tiddlywinks squad. “It’s next man up!”

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

It’s not my fault I can’t smile. I have a structural issue!

Some people are born with dazzling smiles. When they smile, it lights up the room, people are drawn to them, they seem nicer, more…

3 min readJun 4, 2024

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It’s not my fault I can’t smile. I have a structural issue!

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

Escape the madness. I bury my head in the sand in my backyard!

I just couldn’t take it anymore. So much suffering, so much insanity. I decided there was only one solution to this world gone mad: bury my…

4 min readMay 16, 2024

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Escape the madness. I bury my head in the sand in my backyard!

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

At age 66 my testosterone level is still high. Can I monetize this?

Photo by Alena Darmel on pixels.com

4 min readMay 10, 2024

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At age 66 my testosterone level is still high. Can I monetize this?

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

My wife refuses to let me join her Girl’s Trip. So unfair!

When my wonderful wife of 20 years said she’s planned a third different girls trip of the year, I finally snapped.

4 min readApr 30, 2024

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My wife refuses to let me join her Girl’s Trip. So unfair!

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

Mixology for the doomed. 12 cocktails for the world’s demise.

Ready to expire in style? Here are your apocalypse-appropriate cocktails for a world beset by climate change, endless wars, deadly viruses…

2 min readApr 23, 2024

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Mixology for the doomed. 12 cocktails for the world’s demise.

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Matt Walsh

Teachings on spiritual enlightenment from a Buddhist gun nut.

Deepak Chotgun is many things: Buddhist monk, spiritual teacher, philosopher and serious gun nut. He’s the best-selling author of Buddhism…

3 min readApr 20, 2024

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Teachings on spiritual enlightenment from a Buddhist gun nut.

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

I’m a Zombie. Here’s how the Zombie Apocalypse goes down. We’ve got priorities!

Hi, my name doesn’t matter — we used to have names but ya know, radiation, virus, cataclysm — things got a bit scrambled and confused…

4 min readApr 2, 2024

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I’m a Zombie. Here’s how the Zombie Apocalypse goes down. We’ve got priorities!

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Matt Walsh
in
The Haven

Action director apologizes for movie scene without guns or explosions

3 min readMar 25, 2024

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Action director apologizes for movie scene without guns or explosions

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Matt Walsh
in
Slackjaw

My CPAP Mask Drives My Wife Crazy With Wanton Sexual Desire.

CPAP, the ultimate sex toy and turn on.

3 min readMar 5, 2024

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My CPAP Mask Drives My Wife Crazy With Wanton Sexual Desire.

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Matt Walsh

Matt Walsh

Ad-man writer and brand strategist for too long. Finally writing for my own amusement and hopefully for yours too.

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