Resources for Autistics, Their Family, & Their Helpers

Published in

Through the Eye of the Prism

4 min readDec 8, 2023

I chose this image because it has all the colors organized so you can pick out exactly what you need. This resources list may not be quite as organized, but I hope it helps you find the information you need.

Recently I had someone who was supposed to help me with things, but it didn’t work out. Partly because she was relying on obsolete information from one person, and partly because when I gave her my first draft of this resources list she didn’t make use of it. I had hoped that someone would have written something like this, but I couldn’t find anything so I put this together for myself and anyone else who may find it useful.

For a first overview about autism and the autistic experience, I recommend “But You Don’t Look Autistic At All” by Bianca Toeps. This book is available as an ebook, audio book, and in physical formats. Check with your local library or their digital resources apps (my library uses Libby and Hoopla).

This book goes into the DSM-V manual’s diagnostic criteria for autism, with discussion on how those criteria manifest IRL.

It is written with a neurotypical readership in mind, and gives some tips for parents (or caretakers) of autistic people.

Personally, I use this book as a starting-off point when I’m working with a new care provider. I ask if they have read this book and suggest that they do if they haven’t already. It is much less stressful for me to have a conversation about what aspects of this book are or are not relevant to different moments in my life as a way to communicate my needs. Having to dive straight into what my needs are is too scary and nearly always triggers my no-communication-possible brain mode.

If video is better for your learning style, this video was put together also with a neurotypical audience in mind. Other than being created by an autistic person for a non-autistic audience, this video is not related to Bianca Toeps’ book.

For those of you struggling to do chores (or to get your child to do chores), I strongly recommend “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis. This book is targeted at neurodiverse adults and is especially helpful for anyone with executive functioning challenges. However, you can learn a lot about the weird social expectations that we have around chores and re-think what you expect your autistic or neurodivergent child to actually be able to do after digesting the material in this book.

There’s also “Black Fatigue” by Mary-Frances Winters. Firstly, it’s a great place to start to understand the BIPOC experience. But if you can extrapolate a bit, you can gain a lot of compassion for anyone in a minority group including disabled and/or neurodivergent people. Essentially, this book is about how exhausting it is to experience microaggression and systemic bias on a daily basis.

I’ve got a lot a lot of articles that I’ve written about autism so far. Here’s a list:

Note: while most of these are obviously about autism and neurodiversity, some require reading between the lines, applying the writing insight or business insight to life as an autistic person. I am in the process of translating/compiling this information more directly into a book on autism and the autistic experience, but until that’s finished and published, this is the best I can offer.

If you have a favorite resource on autism that helps you interact constructively with family, friends, colleagues, or caretakers, please share it in the comments.

Resources for Autistics, Their Family, & Their Helpers

I’ve got a lot a lot of articles that I’ve written about autism so far. Here’s a list:

If you have a favorite resource on autism that helps you interact constructively with family, friends, colleagues, or caretakers, please share it in the comments.

Written by Arianna Golden