Confessions of a Swinger Husband, Part II: Polyamory and Marriage
After Lauren’s bombshell, we welcome Allison into our bed and lives — and become polyamorists.
Continued from Part I
Fortunately, I came to my senses and the breakup with Lauren was short-lived. Two weeks after I left her, having reflected on how much I loved her, I knew I needed to accept her for who she was and still is. So, I showed up on her doorstep Jerry Maguire-style (as Lauren later joked) and, with a hug, a kiss and an “I love you,” we got back together. “I want to make this all work,” I said to her as I held her in my arms. “I can’t live without you.”
By this point, she and Allison had resumed their intimate relationship. For me, if I wanted to be with Lauren, I had to accept that we’d have a non-monogamous relationship. It wasn’t easy, but I embrace that reality because I loved Lauren. Turns out it was the best decision of my life.
Within only a few days of Lauren and me reuniting, Allison joined us on a date followed by planned threesome sex in Lauren’s bed. None of us had ever had a threesome, and we were so nervous! It was awkward at first and we laughed at times when no one knew what to do next. Seeing Lauren and Allison kiss, touch and orally pleasure each other was dreamlike. It took some getting-used-to that I could do whatever I wanted to Lauren and Allison, and it was all good. We had no rules for our threesomes. Eventually, the three of us figured out the dynamics and developed sexual chemistry.
At the time our relationship with Allison began, Lauren was 24, I was 25 and Allison was 27. Allison, like Lauren, was quite attractive and extremely bright (she was a high school valedictorian and also graduated first in her undergraduate class). Born in Minneapolis, she had a friendly Upper Midwest demeanor. In contrast to Lauren’s tall, lean and shapely body and blonde hair, Allison stood 5'6" and had a curvy but trim figure and shoulder-length brown hair.
We didn’t know about “polyamory,” but that perfectly describes what Lauren and I had with Allison. We frequently watched movies together. We often ate dinner together. We slept together a few nights per week. We sometimes showered and bathed together. We shopped together. We camped, backpacked and skinny-dipped together. We frequently ran together. Lauren and I moved in together in 1999, and Allison often stayed with us. No one in our lives knew about Allison.
What most surprised me was how easily we navigated it all, including when Lauren and I got married in 2000. Our relationship with Allison didn’t get in the way of our marriage and vice versa.
In our eight years with Allison, there was little sexually we didn’t do. We had hundreds of erotic threesomes. Occasionally, I watched Lauren and Allison have sex. I saw in those encounters a different side of Lauren. She was submissive to Allison, as she was to me, but it was surreal to watch her have tender and at other times aggressive sex with another woman. Watching them, I came to better understand Lauren’s bisexuality. With Lauren’s permission, Allison and I occasionally hooked up.
Allison was the first woman I had anal sex with (Lauren at the time had no interest in anal). Every year, she and Lauren gave me a birthday blowjob — a tradition that continues to this day with Piper. She and Lauren loved to entertain me by eating each other’s creampies. We had a lot of fun together, and we missed Allison when she moved to the northeast in 2006 for work.
From our experience with Allison, I learned that it’s possible to be in love with one woman (Lauren) and to love another (Allison). Allison was in love with Lauren and loved me. Lauren was in love with both of us but reassured me that our relationship always came first. I absolutely had feelings for Allison but they never surpassed or competed with how I felt about Lauren. I learned that, with the right woman, Lauren and I could make this seemingly odd lifestyle work.
Sex only got better in marriage
When Lauren and I married in 2000 — we were both 26 years-old — we talked about Allison and where she fit in. We’d of course continue our relationship with her but with some boundaries in place, starting with not seeing Allison more than two days per week. Wisely, we wanted to put our own marriage first. Allison, who by this time had a boyfriend (she and Lauren dated no other women when they were together), understood the boundaries. We slept with her occasionally but whenever she found herself single again the frequency of sex and staying with us increased. Not long after Lauren and I married, we had a pregnancy scare with Allison. Turns out it was a false alarm. Yikes!
Married sex life brought unending excitement for Lauren and me. She made it all so much fun from the get-go. The day we got married, she literally sucked my dick and swallowed my cum while we were being driven from the church, where we’d taken our vows, to the reception (we had privacy in the car). Later that night, still in her wedding dress, she strip-teased for me, revealing she had on a garter belt, yes, but no panties. Then, she asked me to pound her.
“Did you have on panties when we took our vows?” I asked playfully after my new bride revealed her commando look.
“Um, no. Should I have?” she replied teasingly.
“Did your bridesmaids know?”
“Well, they didn’t have on any panties, either.”
We laughed, and then my new wife got what she desired: a pounding.
The next morning, Lauren sucked my cock before breakfast with family and friends, and then after breakfast I again hammered her in our hotel room.
Shortly after we tied the knot, she surprised me by shaving her pussy bare, a look she still has today. I also took to some heavy grooming. I could fuck her whenever I desired. She sucked my dick several times per week. I ate her pussy almost daily. We watched porn together, “looking for ideas,” as she termed it, and asked me to cum on her face. We shot our first sex tape in 2004. We once had sex in front of a hotel window. We tried fun games in bed. She frequently let me watch her masturbate and I let her watch me. We tried basically every position, finding none we enjoyed more than doggy-style with the possible exception of reverse cowgirl. Lauren made it all fun.
We continued to amp up the BDSM, getting handcuffs, whips, a ball gag, lots of dildos, better vibrators, harnesses, a choker, etc. She liked it rough and hard. We finally tried anal sex and Lauren loved it.
In 2007, we conceived our son while having aggressive doggy-style sex. We wanted to conceive through the kind of sex we most enjoyed — deep, hard and kinky. Our sex life had lots of ups and downs through Lauren’s pregnancy — she had wicked morning sickness and eventually was so pregnant that sex was the last thing on her mind — but quickly rebounded after she gave birth to our son. We have a few sex tapes from when she was pregnant and they’re wild to watch.
Polyamorists
After Allison moved away in 2006, Lauren and I talked a lot about if we wanted to continue this “lifestyle.” We decided we did. By the way, we still had no name for this “lifestyle” — we didn’t know at the time what polyamory was — but we felt it was appropriate and healthy to find a new woman because of Lauren’s bisexuality.
Over the next 13 years (until 2019, which I’ll address shortly), we had polyamorous relationships with a ridiculous number of women — 43 in all — with one of the relationships overlapping with Lauren’s pregnancy. Some of the women, like Kelly, were long-term girlfriends, some of them disappointing “one and done” lovers who proved to be bad fits for us, and a few of them transactional one-night stands.
Almost all of them were bisexual and the few who weren’t identified as “bicurious.” Most were wives — some also moms — whose husbands knew about their liaisons with Lauren and me. The bicurious types were often the most incompatible; they wanted to “try” other women but we found them unserious about what we wanted, quite immature and a bit tiresome. Lauren didn’t want to be another woman’s plaything; she wanted a lover for herself but also for us.
By the way, though Allison moved halfway across the country, we continued to have occasional trysts with her — and still do. She and I hooked up not long ago. “There will never be another Allison,” Lauren sometimes says.
Continue to Part III
