Sorry, But Here are 5 Fetishes We Just Don’t Fucking Understand
We all have fetishes…some secret. God knows Lauren and I have our fetishes. But there are some fetishes we just don’t get.
Lauren and I have some sexual fetishes for sure, such as dom/sub, anal, “yes, daddy,” exhibitionism, whips, ball gagging, urethral sounding, etc. (not all of these are those fetishes per se), but there are some fetishes out there that we just don’t fucking get.
We’re not judging those who enjoy the fetishes we don’t get. Everybody’s different. We’re sure there are lots of couples who think we’re way out there because we enjoy swinging and polyamory. My wife’s a kinky bitch and I’m not exactly any different. We like our extreme kink. We even tried this. And don’t get me started on our fans video phase……
With all of that established, here are five fetishes that top our “what the fuck?” list. Do share your own “what the fucks?” down below!
Cuckold
While Lauren does enjoy pretend-hotwifing and I like to pretend to be a hot-husband, she’s not a true hotwife and I’m not a true hot-husband. We just dabble in it with friends we know and always with mutual consent.
So that brings me to cuckold. We don’t fucking get the whole cuckold thing, and we don’t know anyone in our lifestyle who does, either. Maybe that’s because we’re not into open marriage — we like to swing with other couples and fuck Piper, too. Plus, Lauren is quite submissive and doesn’t meet the specs of a cuckoldress.
Then again, if my wife did try to put me into a cuckold position and I had to watch another man pound her and have nothing to say about it, there’d be a divorce. Vice versa. I say that with the admission that, once, to punish me for something bad I did, she basically put me in cuckold hell. It was awful, and it’s the closest we ever came to marital destruction. Never again.
Do I enjoy now and then watching another husband fuck my wife? Yeah, but it’s not like I’m gawking at them. Usually, I’m pounding the other husband’s wife at the same time he’s drilling mine! And, if you ask Lauren if she likes to watch me hammer another wife, she’d say yes. But all of that is very different than cuckold. No, thanks.
Feet
I’m married to a woman with beautiful feet that are narrow, smooth, long…and badly calloused on the bottoms from running. We’ve both lost a shit-ton of toenails over the years from racing. Ha! Do I like her feet? Yeah. Are they pretty feet? Fuck yeah. Do I prefer a woman with pretty feet over ugly, gnarly feet? Of course.
But have I ever wanted a foot-job? They’re not bad for playful foreplay (which reminds me: Piper has very pretty feet, too). But through all our years together and all we’ve done sexually, Lauren has never given me a foot-job to ejaculation, nor have I asked for or desired one. I’ve never had the urge to cum on her feet. And she’s never asked me to do that. Same with every woman we’ve been with.
I have kissed Lauren’s feet, yeah. I’ve kissed Piper’s feet, too. But use them for sexual pleasure? I’d rather fuck either or both of them the old-fashioned way!
Faux-family sex — gross
I was admittedly a bit descriptive in the header because any kind of incestuous role-playing is disgusting. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and maybe I’m hyper-sensitive about this, but I think any kind of role-playing between “step” siblings, “step” parents, etc. is unhealthy, gross and depraved.
There is a lot of such porn out there and it should all be deleted because it’s corrosive, unnatural and immoral.
Do we like to role-play? Now and then, yes. But not as family members. Yuck. Stop it already.
Sadism
Sadism is getting sexual pleasure from causing pain, suffering or humiliation to another. Gross.
Then again, we recognize this is somewhat of a gray area with us because Lauren happens to be a kinky bitch who enjoys, now and then, getting ball-gagged, whipped, spanked, “used,” held down by her neck and called all kinds of names like slut, whore, bitch, etc. while she refers to me as “daddy.” She loves to be dominated and very few men really understand what this means. As a husband married to a wife with non-con fantasies, I know what it means. Trust me.
So within the realm of dom/sub, ball gags, whips, etc., there could be an element of humiliation, though that’s not the aim, but it’s more because Lauren enjoys being dominated. I’ve never hurt her. She doesn’t want to be hurt. We think dom/sub and sadism are distant cousins for sure but we think dom/sub is the healthier of the two. Sadism gets into weird, bad shit. Just say no to sadism and yes to dom/sub.
Asphyxiation
This is one we don’t fucking get at all. I guess it’s where you keep yourself or your partner from breathing to enhance sexual pleasure? Yeah, no. It’s dangerous. I believe it may have been how the massively talented Michael Hutchence tragically died.
Is breathing an important part of sexual pleasure? Yes. Do we sometimes hold our breaths? Yes. Does Lauren like for me to put my hand (gently) around her neck sometimes during sex? Fuck yeah.
But do we asphyxiate each other? No. Just say no to asphyxiation.
So there are our five “what the fuck?” fetishes. What are some of yours?
