John Corten – Medium

John Corten

John Corten
in
The Haven

Flounders Only: The New Dating Site For Bottom-Dwellers

Anyone should get more than zero matches here

1d ago

Flounders Only: The New Dating Site For Bottom-Dwellers

1d ago

John Corten
in
Pitfall

25 Common Expressions Decoded

I don’t follow politics = I watched the debate and promptly moved into a cave.

1d ago

25 Common Expressions Decoded

1d ago

John Corten
in
Doctor Funny

The Bipartisan Olympic Dressage Horse Coalition to Bring Back Mitt Romney

We haven’t been this united since the Carrot Solvers Caucus

2d ago

The Bipartisan Olympic Dressage Horse Coalition to Bring Back Mitt Romney

2d ago

John Corten
in
The Haven

Paris Olympics: Did Dated Resume Cost Boogaloo Shrimp Spot on Inaugural Breaking team?

There was zero optimizing for ATS

2d ago

Paris Olympics: Did Dated Resume Cost Boogaloo Shrimp Spot on Inaugural Breaking team?

2d ago

John Corten
in
Pitfall

Sneaking Dad’s Old Porn Into Trash Not as Easy as Everyone Says It is

Sexy time is over

3d ago

Sneaking Dad’s Old Porn Into Trash Not as Easy as Everyone Says It is

3d ago

John Corten
in
The Haven

How to Tell if You’re the Guy at the Bar No Wants to Talk To

This may or may not be an intervention

3d ago

How to Tell if You’re the Guy at the Bar No Wants to Talk To

3d ago

John Corten
in
Pitfall

Enough With The Iron Oxide And Aluminum-Impregnated Cellulose Paint On Zeppelins, Already!

An open letter from Harvey Hindsight

5d ago

Enough With The Iron Oxide And Aluminum-Impregnated Cellulose Paint On Zeppelins, Already!

5d ago

John Corten
in
The Haven

Satan Irked by Constant Need to Renovate Hell to Outdo Chaos on Earth

Every time you people start a war, I need to at least redecorate

6d ago

Satan Irked by Constant Need to Renovate Hell to Outdo Chaos on Earth

6d ago

John Corten
in
The Haven

Newly-Separated Male (61) Seeking Only Mature Women (20–25) With Super Hard Bodies

It’s also okay if you’re 18 and have severe daddy issues

Jul 27

Newly-Separated Male (61) Seeking Only Mature Women (20–25) With Super Hard Bodies

Jul 27

John Corten
in
The Haven

USA Men’s Olympic Soccer Team Training Harder Than Ever for Quadrennial Failure

It’s not as easy as they make it look

Jul 24

USA Men’s Olympic Soccer Team Training Harder Than Ever for Quadrennial Failure

Jul 24

John Corten

John Corten

Yet another flawed human trying to save money on much-needed therapy by writing humor. Published in The Haven, Robot Butt, Pitfall, and Doctor Funny.

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