Julia Giantomasi – Medium

Julia Giantomasi

Julia Giantomasi
in
The Belladonna Comedy

How to Do an Out of State Transfer at a Central Jersey (Yeah, We Exist) DMV

You think you can just move here and become Jersey? Think again, buddy.

4 min readMay 23, 2024

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How to Do an Out of State Transfer at a Central Jersey (Yeah, We Exist) DMV

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

A Skincare Convo with My Gal Pal Earth

We both may be doomed.

3 min readApr 29, 2024

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A Skincare Convo with My Gal Pal Earth

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

Open Letter to Everyone Working From Home But Really Just Running Errands

We’ve gotten a little bit too comfortable and it’s time we dial it back a scooch

3 min readJul 4, 2023

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Open Letter to Everyone Working From Home But Really Just Running Errands

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

Quiz: Excerpt From My Middle School Diary or Taylor Swift Lyrics?

Because Taylor Swift made speaking teenage girl into a timeless art form worth $400 million

2 min readOct 25, 2022

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Quiz: Excerpt From My Middle School Diary or Taylor Swift Lyrics?

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Slackjaw

Come On Over But Only If You’re Cool With Boogers On Every Surface In My House

Make yourself comfortable in my booger haven!

4 min readAug 4, 2022

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Come On Over But Only If You’re Cool With Boogers On Every Surface In My House

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

Hot Tips From A Puppy To Level Up Your Kissing Game

Self-proclaimed expert smoocher with 10 months of experience here to tell you that you’ve been doing it all wrong

3 min readJul 6, 2022

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Hot Tips From A Puppy To Level Up Your Kissing Game

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Julia Giantomasi

Yo, It’s Me, Your Fanny Pack, Here To Tell You To Stop Being Embarrassed By Me

The 90’s are back, baby!

4 min readJun 27, 2022

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Yo, It’s Me, Your Fanny Pack, Here To Tell You To Stop Being Embarrassed By Me

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

A Letter to the Tenant From the Squirrel Living in the Attic

Here’s hoping spring gets here soon because it has been a LONG winter sharing paper thin walls with you.

3 min readMay 18, 2022

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A Letter to the Tenant From the Squirrel Living in the Attic

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Julia Giantomasi
in
Slackjaw

Flossing For The Dentist? I’m Waxing For The OB-GYN.

Vaginas are like a self-cleaning oven? Not today, folks.

4 min readApr 22, 2022

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Flossing For The Dentist? I’m Waxing For The OB-GYN.

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Julia Giantomasi
in
2 Ho Ho Ho’s

A List of Responses to “What Are Your Plans for Valentine’s Day?”

Honestly Translated from a Single Female in her Thirties

4 min readFeb 14, 2022

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A pink bottle of champagne, heart-shaped sunglasses and a girl’s feet in combat boots on the beach.

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Julia Giantomasi

Julia Giantomasi

Writer/Social Media Manager/Sasshole. Visit www.thesaltyju.com for personal humor essays or pop culture snark.

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