A-Z of Emotions : K for Kooky
Loveable weirdo. That’s how I would sum myself up in 2 words. You would arrive at that conclusion as well if you read the other posts in the series. I have learnt to embrace the awkward in me, and convincing other likeable weirdos to do the same has become one of my life missions. If you are part of my inner circle, you know that I have many quirks. These are habits or idiosyncrasies that were developed in my childhood, and have followed me into my adult life. They are what make me kooky.
Alarm Clocks
I have never used an alarm to wake up. I will give you a minute to come to terms with this ludicrous claim.
Like the justification for most kookiness and odd behaviours, I can blame this on my childhood. My parents used to wake me up for school when I was a child. This continued throughout my teens. Fast forward to early adulthood. I remember the first time I had to wake up on my own, as my parents were out of town. I slept through my alarm, and missed an important job interview. Using multiple alarm clocks the next nights didn’t help either. I would either wake up in paranoia throughout the night or sleep past the alarm. This was getting ridiculous. How was I failing at such a basic adult function?!
One night, in a moment of pent up frustration, I yelled to myself, “C’mon Joe! You gotta wake up at 6!”, and went to bed. In the moment of rage, I had forgotten to set the alarm. Through the miracle of neuroscience, I got up at 5:55! I went to bed, slept like a child and got up 5 minutes BEFORE my intended wake up time. All of this because of some self-instruction.
Weiiiiiiird!
I used the self-wake up strategy for the next few days to ensure it wasn’t just a one-hit wonder. It worked like a charm. There were a few hiccups, as I would either wake up 20 mins before or 15 minutes after my intended wake up time. But, this was still better than sleeping through alarms. Since then, I have used this method and it has yet to fail me. I am a success story for the self-wake up call. Yet, when I suggest the idea to others, I get the same dumbfounded look everytime. The idea might be slightly eccentric, but it is a great lifehack.
Hum when I Pee
When I was a baby, I used to cry a lot. I was a crybaby.. literally. My mom had tried various means to stop my crying, but none of them worked. Then, she noticed that I would stop crying whenever I’d hear this famous Indian jingle for a washing powder:
Since I cried ALL THE TIME, my mom had to play or sing the jingle to calm me down. Because of this, the jingle and I became one. It got engrained in the deepest corner of my brain. I quietly hum it whenever I need to calm my nerves in a stressful situation.
I suffer from shy bladder syndrome. It is a type of social phobia where a person can’t urinate in public when other people are around. As a result, I always head for the stall in a public bathroom instead of the urinals. However, what is this man to do when the stalls are busy and you are too nervous to wee at the urinals?
Hum the jingle!!
This works everytime. The jingle triggers happy childhood memories, and lowers my phobia about urinating around other men, and the rest is self-explanatory. I have hummed the song in public toilets in more than 30 countries and the list is growing. I am sure doing this gets me weird looks, but I am too busy urinating in peace to pay them any attention.
Background noise to Sleep
I have an irrational fear of darkness. The sympathetic you might say ‘fearing darkness is normal’. Yes, this fear is common when you are a child because you are afraid of the imagined dangers: boogeyman, monsters, etc. In my case, this fear has followed me till my adulthood. I refuse to go down to the basement of my house unless my parents turn on all the nights. You might hear my high-pitched screams if it suddenly gets dark in a hallway or public toilet. Last but not the least, I can’t sleep in pitch black darkness.
When I was a child, my parents dealt with this fear through nightlamps, as most parents do. However, as I emerged into adulthood, it became clear that society ridicules those who use night lamps. I had to be a ‘big boy’ and face my fear. In my case, I fought my fear with the help of background noise. At first, it was trial and error testing various white noise apps. They didn’t help. Listening to music while trying to sleep resulted in numerous sleeptalking and sleepwalking incidents. Do you know what worked?
Ira Glass and This American Life podcast
I do not wish to suggest that This American Life is so boring that it puts me to sleep. Instead, I find Ira’s voice incredibly soothing. He usually speaks in a lower register and spews information in a consistently slow rhythm. I find that very relaxing, and it works like a lullaby. The man’s voice has helped me fall asleep in all sorts of different situations, whether it be my own bed in Toronto or a 30 bed dorm room in London.
Normal is overrated. Weird or different can be more fun, if fully embraced. It has taken me a while to wear my kooky-ness as a badge of honour. Now, that I have, not only can I laugh at myself for being a weirdo, but, hopefully, you can laugh with me too!
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