All stories published by The Awl on December 03, 2013

All Stories published by The Awl on December 03, 2013

The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

I Failed To Monetize My Life As A Dating Blogger

by Ryan Dodge

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Chopped Salad Toppings, In Order

33. Beets
32. Corn
31. Hearts of Palm
30. Grapes
29. Stuffed Grape Leaves
28. Sunflower Seeds
27. Raisins
26. Black Beans
25. Kidney Beans
24. Tomatoes
23. Sprouts
22. Grilled Onions
21. Roasted Peppers
20. Carrots
19. Apples
18. Hot Peppers
17. Edamame…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Hurry Up And Get That Adderall Prescription Filled Before They Figure Out Your ADHD Is Bullshit

“A new brain imaging technique that provides a noninvasive, indirect measure of the neurotransmitter dopamine may be a new tool to help psychiatrists and other medical…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Lady Brains Make Girls Better At Mom Stuff: Science

“Intuition is thinking without thinking. It’s what people call gut feelings. Women tend to be better than men at these kinds of skill which are linked with being good mothers,” says a professor who is probably never gonna hear the end of it for making that statement.

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Lies My Breakfast Told Me

Can you trust the color of the yolks in your eggs? No you can not. Everything you know is a lie, and everyone you know is a liar, and everything that happens to you happens to relieve you of your money, love or time. If you don’t know what the scam is, you’re the sap. It’s all BUNK, buddy. All of it. Stay drunk and die young.

The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

16 Moments That Require Pure Concentration

by Awl Sponsors

There are some moments in life that require a little extra effort. Here are some of our favorites, brought to you by the delicious caramel, chocolate and nougat inside every Milky Way®

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

New Yorkers Now Being Terrible For Charity

These look like the kind of douchebags who would pay to go to a birthday party.

“The societal pressure forces you to get on board because it’s considered a good…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Are Ladies Dumb Enough To Trust Dudes About Birth Control?

“Now the chemical snip! Male pill works like a vasectomy — but will girls trust men to take it?”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Seattle Ferry Heist Stuns Easily-Amazed Town

“Unbelievable, like something out of a movie,” says the reporter covering the story of the homeless man who took a ferry for a joy ride in Seattle, which either says something about the shocking level of skepticism in the Emerald City or the low…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Hopefully The Jobs Of Tomorrow Won’t Be Very Number-Intensive, Because If They Are Uh Oh

“The question is, can we walk and chew gum at the same time?” and the answer is, probably, so long as you don’t ask us to figure out any fractions while we’re doing it. We suck at math is the story.

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Is Bird Flu Coming For You?

“Hong Kong confirmed its first case of deadly H7N9 bird flu on Monday in a further sign that the virus is continuing to spread beyond mainland China’s borders.”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

You Will Never Believe Why Koalas’ Voices Are So Deep But I Bet I Can Guess What You’re Thinking The Reason Is

“The pitch of male koalas’ mating calls is about 20 times lower than it should be, given the Australian marsupial’s relatively small size…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Parterre Box Is 20

“Twenty years ago, a sad and lonely gay man sat down with a pair of scissors and a glue stick and said, ‘I think I’ll make a magazine.’” What happened next will explode your heart, bring a tear to your eye and make you think differently about everyone you’ve ever met.

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Forest Fire, “Passengers”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

How To Be Internet Now

Maybe we’re all just too tired to be outraged over the fact that so much viral traffic is based on bullshit. I would get cynical and conspiratorial and tell you that’s how They Want You To Feel, but the sad fact is They don’t give a shit what you’re feeling so long as you click. And…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Thems The (Finger)Breaks (Ugh, Kill Me)

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Acts Old

The bands Black Flag and Boston have new albums out today. No, no, it’s still 2013, you didn’t magically fall into some kind of wormhole and travel backwards through time until you landed in the ’80s, although if you had you would almost certainly have used your knowledge of the era to amass a fortune so vast…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

What Happens When A Video Is Reupped Over And Over Again?

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Ozzy Osbourne Is 65

Tom Scocca in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

New York City, December 2, 2013

★★ Dim, dim, dim. Birds moved like airplanes against the lowered morning sky. A street sweeper raised a…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Italian Croissant Scam A Sad Testament To That Country’s Decline

“A man from Battipaglia, near the southern Italian city of Salerno, was arrested after telling a barman he was a mafia chief in order to get free drinks and croissants…. He even backed up the story by leaving a bottle…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2013

Neanderthals Were Just Like Today’s Brooklynites

“They are frequently portrayed as primitive cave-dwelling brutes, but it seems that Neanderthals were the original home makers. A study of archaeological remains at a site where Neanderthals lived up to 100,000 years ago has shown that they…

December 02, 2013

December 04, 2013