List #21: 30 Parts of Me
30 Lists of 30 to Celebrate my 30th Birthday
The What & Why Behind This Project:
This year I turn 30. And my gosh, I have been thinking about it a lot. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, or the fact that this milestone is loaded with many societal expectations, but my mind has inundated me with reflections and memories from the past, with questions arising about my life choices and lesson learnt, about my expectations of being a human and about my desires for the future. And this combined with pandemic reflections has meant there has been a lot on my mind….🤔
I started writing a series of questions and lists of all the elements I wanted to capture and articulate. There were a lot, unsurprisingly; 30 years is a long time really! So I gave up on the 1 list idea that I normally write (30 reflections/lessons turning 30) and decided to write 30 lists.
30 Lists of 30, for my 30th Birthday.
Who are these lists for, you might wonder? I started writing reflections many years ago to get to know myself better. And when I shared these raw and real accounts with friends I discovered that what I wrote about my individual journey, touched upon something universally human. Beyond the masks and labels we wear is a messy, beautifully complex life, with highs and lows. And more similar to others than we might think.
So I share them in the hope that you too might feel something — intrigue, joy, resonance or maybe even difference — as you reflect on what it means to be a human. I recognise that my experiences are my own, that some come from a place of privilege and that they may not all be relatable or interesting to you. I know I can’t please everyone, so take what you can…(and let me know what lands!).
So, Back to Lists…
The Why Behind List #21: 30 Parts of Me
I’ve learnt a lot about who I am and all the sides of me that make up my identity. Personality and identity is a lot more complex and rich than we think — we show up differently in different contexts, there are part of ourselves we strongly think are us and then part of ourselves that we have hidden away because we are ashamed of them (our shadow parts). However, we are all of these parts — the good and the ugly — and each part is there is to help us out in some way. This list is strongly influenced by ‘Internal Family Systems’ (IFS) which I absolutely love.
List #21: 30 Parts of Me
- Task Mode Georgie— beautifully named by an ex, who loved my desire to get stuff done, but not on a Friday night when we were meant to be hanging out! This part of me is highly productive and driven and decisive and little will get in the way of her meeting her goals.
- The Boss — an old protective part of me that creates a metaphorical wall between me and others when I feel there is a threat.
- Introverted Georgie — craving spaciousness to get lost in my thoughts connect new ideas and to recharge, alone. This part comes out everyday.
- Reflective Nostalgic Georgie — often staring out the window, processing the past and asking myself questions about it to draw out insights about myself and how I want to be
- The Compassion & Forgiving Georgie — a part I’ve been getting to know a lot more in the last year. A part that, behind all sadness, anger, fear in myself or others, can and desires to forgive everyone and thing. A part I often feel like is Mother Nature.
- Curious Georgie — a fundamental part of my identity that likes to always be wondering and wandering, asking questions and looking to explore and understanding things. Comes out in conversation and in reading, a lot.
- Curious Coaching Georgie — slightly different to just curious Georgie because this part is more intentional about trying to use the conversation to help someone see a door they want to find, and help them walk through it.
- The Superman/Women — wants to save the world, wants to help everyone as much as a can and feel guilt for not being able to say yes all the time.
- Teaching Georgie — always wanting to share the insights I have collected in life to give to others to help them grow. This part has been with me for a long time and brings me a great sense of meaning and fulfillment in life.
- Playful & Cheeky Georgie — a part that has sometimes involved risk and gotten me into trouble but is greatly loves most the time. This part often comes with high pitched giggling, quick-witted punches, cheeky questions or observations and expressive non-verbal (e.g. movement) play.
- Need to Control Georgie — this part shows up when I’m stressed, under resourced and feel like a lot around me is dismantling, so I seek to create order in my life. Often, this is order over physical space so it manifests itself activities like in tidying and making sure everything is in its place.
- Vulnerable Georgie — when I am letting myself fully feel hurt, anger, fear, heartbreak, grief or loss. This is most deep when I’m consciously creating the space for it to be expressed, like on retreat or in therapy or with a close friend. When I truly experience her she is raw, intense, courageous and beautiful.
- Deeply Embodied Georgie — often found on the dance floor late into the night when I have let go of all thinking and am moving in a beautiful connected flow with my partner and the music.
- My Witness or True Self — a part that is always there watching all my voices, and allowing them to be seen and to speak. This part never speaks but is always there — it is my true self.
- The Fighter Spirit — that will never accept victimhood and always pulls me up to find a way to fight back when life is challenging.
- Lonely Georgie — a part from an old trauma, that struggles to be alone, especially when I know about other gatherings are happening without me. Part of the reason I have FOMO!
- Imposter-Spirit Georgie — feels like I haven’t got the skills or experience and can’t put myself out there. This part used to be a very strong and held me back in the early entrepreneurial days from putting myself out there to do outbound sales, or talking with pride about the value I deliver.
- Appreciation / Value Seeking Georgie — forgets the value I bring to the world or others, and needs to be reminded. When this part is alive and I don’t want to ask others for this, I go to my ‘jaw of awesome’, old school reports or my collection of nice words people have shared.
- The Tough Efficient Commander — tight on time, speaks and delegates directly and to the point, and ‘doesn’t believe in no’ part.
- Frightened Disempowered Victim — a shadow part I exiled for a long time (because I feared she would take over and I would lose my agency). This year I let myself get to know her and experience her traumas and challenges, and discovered a great compassion for what this part went through.
- Rebel Challenger — a part that gets stronger each day, as I question and challenge systems, people or ways of doing things that inefficient, confusing or harmful.
- Depressive Georgie — not a part I see often these days because I design my life to keep her at bay, but one I am wary of having back in my life because the negative thought patterns can negatively impact all parts of my life, and my ability to enjoy or find meaning in life.
- Creative, Artistic Georgie — loves loves loves to be designing new ideas, creating and bringing things into the world. I’ve realised (mostly through the Artist’s way) that when I listen to and look after this part of myself I am greatly in love with the world.
- Perfectionist Georgie — wants what I create to be excellent, unique and awesome or there is no point. This part is what drove me during my A-level period but I’m working on letting go of these days as I’m realising shipping something 80% is good enough most of the time.
- Community-Connector & Facilitator Georgie —that loves connecting people and giving them unique and meaningful experiences.
- Reliable, Dutiful Georgie — fears acting out of my integrity, and wants to deliver what I say I will and when. Perhaps the reason I haven’t missed publishing a list!
- Deconstruct-Everything Georgie — loves getting precise definitions, breaking everything down and creating frameworks for how things work.
- Selfish Georgie— often appears when I am exhausted or my boundaries have been hit, this part delivers a strong no to others needs or desires, which often results in a meta feeling of guilt.
- Competitive Georgie — the FOMO, hungry, enthusiastic, wants to do everything in life, and do it incredibly well Georgie. All courses, book suggestions.
- Audacious, Risk Taker Georgie — loves the idea of leaning into vulnerability and stretching myself so I can grow, even when it feels sickeningly uncomfortable. This part of me is fuelled by the saying ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ which has been with me most of my life.
☕ If you enjoyed reading this list and want to support my writing I would love a coffee!
👉 https://www.buymeacoffee.com/30Listsof30 👈
Your support will help me fund my PhD starting in October 2021 at the School of Design Engineering, Imperial College, London. The subject: Human Connection & Conversation Design. This research lab > interactionfoundry.com
Want To Read More Lists?
I’m publishing one list every day in August (and will add the hyperlinks below).
- 30 Reasons Why I’m Writing 30 Lists of 30
- 30 Questions I’m Living Right Now
- 30 Ways To Have An Awesome Conversation
- 30 Risks I Took & What I Learnt
- 30 Ways to Create and Cultivate Community
- 30 Questions I Reflect on Every Saturday Morning
- 30 Essential Items I Pack Backpacking
- 30 Skills We Need But Don’t Teach
- 30 Things I Wasn’t That Grateful For But Am Now
- 30 Reflective Questions that Lead to Fascinating Conversations
- 30 Signs I am Most Definitely an Adult
- 30 Beliefs I Changed about Myself & Life
- 30 Games I’m Playing in Life
- 30 Confusing Messages I’ve Internalised About Who To Be & How to Live
- 30 Ways I’m Totally Imperfect
- 30 Considerations for Designing Meaningful Human Connection Experiences
- 30 Mundane Experiences That Can Actually Be Quite Magical
- 30 Words To Describe Elements of My Pandemic Experience
- 30 Things I’ve Learnt About Human Behaviour That Show Up Everywhere
- 30 Words I Love
- 30 Parts of Me
- 30 Principles I Live By
- 30 Lessons from 5 Years of Entrepreneurship and Creating
- 30 Health, Productivity, Creativity and Happiness Optimisation Experiments I’ve Explored And The Life Hacks that Resulted From Them
- 30 Things I am Proud of (Achieving) Before 30
- 30 Experiences (& Goals) For the Next 10-ish Years
- 30 Things I Need To Let Go As I Move Forward Into The Next Chapter
- 30 Journal Entries from the Last 20 Years
- 30 Lists That Didn’t Make it to the 30 Lists
- 30 Reflections Writing 30 Lists of 30
