Transgender Seahorses, Anti-Trans Hate Groups, Open Gay Dating, & More!
Prism & Pen Weekly Digest — June 16, 2024
by James Finn
This week in Prism & Pen, a plethora of Pride stories, transgender ‘seahorses’ flee U.S. red states, anti-trans hate groups masquerade as experts in the U.K., and a gay man on the sunny coast of Spain plunges into open-relationship dating.
Plus, poetry, book and film reviews, and just about everything queer in between.
Prism & Pen brings you authentic queer voices every morning…. Come read with us!👇
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* Discover P&P Diversity in Three Stories *
We’re Seahorses — Transgender Parents — Leaving Idaho Behind.
My parents moved to a five-acre farm in rural Southern Idaho in 1993. I was born four years later. My brother and I explored since-developed fields and jumped over muddy ditches and taunted the electric fence with blades of grass. Goatheads on our soles like walking on angry peas. Owls hoo’d. Cattle huddled beneath corrugated canopy until morning. When it dawned, Fudge the cow half-glowed, so I ran my little-kid paws all across their orange fuzzy flank to say good morning!
The memories survive, but the Gem State is tapped. I must prospect more distant peaks for my son to enjoy what I had.
UK Psychiatry Association to Platform Anti-LGBTQ Hate Groups
The following is an open letter to the UK’s Royal College of Psychiatrists (RCPsych) in response to the Trans Safety Network’s alert that the College’s International Congress, to be held in Edinburgh, Scotland 17–20 June 2024, will feature speakers from organisations that, according to the SPLC, are anti-LGBTQ hate groups. This letter was emailed to the event organisers along with ten of the event’s keynote speakers on June 11…
… The speakers noted below are all associated with the group Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine (SEGM), who, along with their sister group Genspect, have just been designated an anti-LGBTQ+ hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Centre (SPLC), a prominent US-based civil rights organisation which tracks extremists and hate groups. The SPLC describes SEGM as ‘the hub’ of an ‘anti-LGBTQ pseudoscience network’.
Boyfriend for a Day: The Joys and Perils of Gay Open-Relationship Dating
… Finally, Saturday came, and I was giddy. I got on a morning train headed down the coast to Tarragona. He told me he was in his car, driving from down south.
The train finally pulled into the station. I loved it all. It was like something out of a novel, with the main character being the unexpected.
What was going to happen next?
He told me to look for a red car parked nearby. I quickly exited the station, spotted the car and slowly walked over. He was even more gorgeous in person. We greeted each other with a warm embrace. To be honest, I think we hugged twice. I had a fire in my belly, and it felt wonderful.
* This Week’s Essays & Creative Non Fiction *
Butch, Please! A Night of Leather Daddies & Trans Joy in London
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Leather Covered Dyke.) It’s half-past eight, and I’m in the smoking area of the Clapham Grand. The legendary lesbian club night Butch, Please has taken over the 124-year-old performance venue in Clapham Junction, and I’m leant on a wall conversing with a bunch of dykes.
One, in her thirties, speaks of how she popped her lesbian cherry the other week. “I’m a baby dyke, and tonight, I want to graduate to dykolescence.”
Another gives pricing advice on queer dominatrixes. It’s quite a butch-presenting crew, and soon they’re sharing experiences of getting ID’ed in other clubs — for their gender, not their age.
This is a place where the chains of gender expectations are unleashed and, as is the case tonight, leather harnesses are (consensually) put in their place.
A Pride Month Epistle to My Beloved Midwest
It’s interesting to analyze the hypocrisy of the anti-LGBTQ prejudice that is absolutely at the root of anti-Pride objections. Ignore the concern trolling, it’s absolutely about bias and hatred and the concomitant “ick factor.”
We argue over what “it” is even supposed to be, Pride/Pridefest/Pride march, protest or party, corporate douchecanoe-ry or co-opting critical support from businesses large and small for our community. In complete candor, ALL of these possibilities have been and are correct.
I’d like to share a few of my thoughts on the current pushback against our annual community celebration of resilience and solidarity, of family of choice, and I’d like to do it in the form of a love letter from our St. Louis and Midwest queer community to the larger nation; hey, YOU.
Colorado Republicans Call for Flag Burning… Pride Flags, that is!
Republicans have never held their tongues when it comes to flag burning. Not only have they always stood in unabashed, unified outrage at the very thought, they’ve typically deemed burning a flag to be the most heinous of crimes. Listening to their righteous indignation through the years, you’d think that setting Old Glory ablaze in protest automatically makes an offender deserving of the firing squad.
So, recently, when these same staunch defenders of the flag called for flags to be burned, well… my ears perked up!
Expanding Societal Norms: Parenting the Next Gen with Pride
For me, ensuring that my child and the kids in my life always feel supported, no matter how they identify, is a top priority. But it’s important to understand that even small actions can significantly impact how kids perceive acceptance. For example, using only heteronormative language when talking about their future partners might unintentionally suggest that only relationships with the opposite gender are acceptable.
Words carry a lot of weight and can shape our children’s sense of belonging and self-esteem.
Here’s a simple approach to expanding societal boundaries that my family has implemented for the past 15 years —
My Sexuality Hid From Me: Fatphobia and Compulsory Heterosexuality …
I grew up in an accepting family. I have a lesbian aunt on one side, and my uncles on the other side have been together since I was a child. My freshman year of high school, my friend came out to me as bisexual, and I joined her in our school’s gay/straight alliance club.
And yet, despite all that, I believed I was straight until I was in my late 30s.
Without fear keeping me in the closet, how could it possibly have taken me so long to realize that I’m actually pansexual (attracted to people regardless of their gender)? Internalized fatphobia and comphet (compulsory heterosexuality) hid my true feelings for people other than men.
Bears in the Hay — In a Safe Way
Hey there, fellow bears! As proud members of the bear community, we understand the primal instincts and desires that define us. From rugged exteriors to our tender hearts, we embrace it all. But navigating intimacy can feel like trekking through uncharted territory.
I’ve started drafting this article a few times, but now I’m finally committed enough to see it through. Just to clarify upfront: I’m not a medical professional, nor do I work in healthcare. However, this piece aims to provide tips for safe sex with a touch of humor and positivity. So, grab a seat, pour yourself a honey-infused beverage, and let’s dive into this adventure together!
Hometown Pride: How a Quaint, Courageous Festival Healed My Heart
I am in my hometown, not a place I come to often. But here I am, riding the high of a great iced coffee and a Pride festival — neither of which I ever thought I would get from this town.
I’m from Potosi, Missouri (pop. 2,662), situated about 70 miles southwest of, and about 20 years behind, Saint Louis. The area was once a thriving mining community, pulling iron and tiff from the earth. Currently, the main street is lined with a mix of abandoned storefronts and small businesses. There are a LOT of churches.
I grew up here in a blended family of three half brothers and three half sisters. My oldest brother, Robbie, was gay. For most of the last five years of his life, ever since he came out, he was estranged from our father and, by extension, from me. He died from AIDS in 1987 when I was 13, before I could really get to know him.
I Use My Rainbow Words to Celebrate, Fight, and Resist
What the actual fuck is going on in the world at the moment?
Yes, that’s how I’m starting this. Because I don’t get it. It makes no sense. It’s illogical and stupid. I don’t understand why so many people are so obsessed with wasting their own life trying to stop somebody else they don’t even know from living theirs. Why are so many people so dissatisfied with their own existence that the only way they can feel better is to erase anyone who has the nerve to so much as attempt to be a tiny little bit happy?
Unable to Marry, We Planned a Beautiful Wedding for Straight Friends
With Gregory’s (RIP) and my anniversary approaching, I got to thinking about a wedding we planned for our straight-couple friends many years ago.
We did a lovely job but I couldn’t help think, “How sad.”
When we planned the wedding for our friends, same-sex marriage was nowhere on the horizon. Why was their love OK and Gregory’s and mine NOT? Why were we not able to ceremoniously profess our love for each other in front of family and friends and in turn receive their blessings?
The year was 1986, the place was Chicago, Illinois, the event was the marriage of Gregory’s dear college friend John...
Woops, He Did It Again: Pope Francis Slurs Gay Men, No Apology This Time
Conservative religion won’t stop branding gay men as defective, and Pope Francis leads the charge. This is going to be a short story, because I don’t have much to report, and what I do have is very sad. I wrote last week about Pope Francis uttering a mean-spirited anti-gay slur in Italian while instructing Italian bishops not to allow gay men to train for the priesthood…
Tuesday, at a meeting with 200 parish priests in Rome, Francis repeated the slur in the same context. Several major Italian newspapers report that the pope used the the word frociaggine, which roughly translates to “faggotness” or “faggotry,” to say the Vatican is too full of gay behavior, so seminaries should not accept gay candidates.
This time, no apology has been forthcoming.
‘All Of Us Strangers’ Is About Growing Up Queer and Lonely
The other night I found myself watching “All Of Us Strangers”, a movie that was quite hyped within the queer community both for its theme and relevant cast choices. Out since December 2023, it was directed by Andrew Haigh and features Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal as the lead actors.
I went into it knowing very little about it, expecting only an emotional rollercoaster and an uncomfortable amount of relating to sad character backstories, and boy was I right about that. If you’re interested in bawling your eyes out too, you can watch the movie here.
At its core, the film is about a queer man named Adam coming to terms with his past traumas relating to how his parents treated him as a kid.
Do Gay Circuit Parties Offer Community or Just Fleeting Moments?
As the night finally staggered to a close, I stumbled out into the harsh glow of 4 AM, my body weary, my soul slightly more tarnished, but my mind buzzing with a mix of nostalgia and a lingering sense of “what the actual hell happened tonight?”
In those still, quiet moments, I found myself grappling with the age-old question: do events like these truly offer a sense of community and belonging, or are they just fleeting moments of connection, destined to dissipate with the first rays of dawn?
Ally Sheedy: LGBTQ+ Pride Ally
Lsjaffee (Writer, Educator, Over-Thinker)
…in her real life Ally Sheedy is the loving and fully accepting mom to a trans man who — after educating herself — now has second thoughts about playing a trans woman in Hedwig in 1999.
We also know her signature role — besides the weird kid in The Breakfast Club — was playing High Art’s lesbian photographer who Sheedy described to New York magazine as the “closest character I’ve ever played to myself.” It wasn’t clear whether she was talking about both having careers on the downside, or her choice of sexual partner.
But for this Pride Month, for all the reasons above I nominate Ally Sheedy our ally Queen!
My Unhappy Pride Month: Anatomy of a Minor Personal Attack
I started a Facebook group from scratch about a year ago and watched it blossom from a dormant entity with three members into a large, active community with over 19,000 members. Its topic is highly specialized and technical, but the focus is on creativity in the arts.
There are some high-profile members who have won Emmys, some work at big studios and many of them have long, impressive IMDB profiles …
I made what I thought was an innocuous and obvious post reading, “Happy Pride Month, everybody!” Someone replied almost immediately with the following:
“Create another dedicated group for your stuff. You should not assume they’re whatever and congratulate them. Be a man.”
The Rainbow Is a Symbol of Bravery
Imagine falling in love for the first time, experiencing the intensity and the wonder of it, and not feeling safe enough to share it with the people in your life.
Imagine trying to figure out if somebody at work likes you like that, while also acutely aware that they could blow up your professional life if you misread the situation and your — cautious — advances are unwanted.
Imagine being married, in a heterosexual relationship, 20 years and 3 kids in, and realizing you’ve been gay the whole time. The simultaneous joy at the discovery and terror of what it means.
Being openly queer is a constant exercise in choosing bravery.
Are Chimps Conscious of Sex and Gender — If So, Can They Be Trans?
I once read a comment reading they didn’t believe trans people were real because, “How could one not live in their own body?” Whatever the exact meaning of this skeptical question, some people are too quick to go from skepticism to denialism: “Well, I don’t experience it, therefore it’s not real.”
The “why” behind being trans is a mystery. Brain chemistry? Hormones in the womb? Maybe it’s better not to know, so that no one will try to fix us. We are very much not about eugenics in this household.
We are, however, very much about considering utterly strange hypotheticals spawned under a steamy, hot shower.
Like what if chimpanzees could be transgender, too?
A Gay Soldier Finds Love and True Identity in 19th-Century America
At the bookstore event, one man asked Barry about his personal motivation for telling the narrator’s story. The author responded, “The book exists between two points, my grandfather and my son.” When Barry was a boy, he slept with his grandfather to keep him warm, and on one of these cold nights, the writer-to-be learned that his grandfather’s great-uncle was in the Indian Wars.
For some fifty-five years, Barry wanted to tell that story. His tale of the novel’s other point of existence — of how his son, to whom the book is dedicated, came to inspire the author to tell the story of the love between Thomas McNulty and John Cole — brought me to tears; Barry is an exceptional oral storyteller.
Just as Barry is about to start writing the novel, his son Toby, 16, becomes extremely unhappy, sending the boy’s parents into a frenzied search for the source of his unhappiness.
The Cultural Impact of ‘Queer as Folk’ on Me, a Gay Man in China in 2012
In early 2012, I watched the American version of Queer as Folk for the first time. At that time, it had been twelve years since the show first aired… My first reaction was to take off my headphones and glance around nervously, even though it was a holiday and my grandparents were already asleep.
But I still couldn’t relax, so I hid under the covers with my small MP4 player. As a result, I kept kicking off and pulling up the blanket on the cold winter night.
When I reached the end of the first episode, where Michael and Brian hugged and kissed on the hospital rooftop, momentarily forgetting the world beneath them, I covered my mouth tightly, afraid I might shout out in excitement.
My Own Private Queer Pride Happened in a South Carolina Target
I’m not naive. The city of Greenville, SC, is a popular destination for tourists these days and people are moving here like we’re Paris or the sunny Greek isles. In our downtown area specifically, people seem to feel free to be their true selves, holding hands and openly kissing whoever they want no matter the gender or the race.
Still, we’re still a very red area within a very red state.
In my neighborhood there are many rainbow flags, including at our house. There are also, however, upside down American flags and at least one “An Appeal to Heaven” flag. I want to ask the distress-laden people who live in very fine, not simply modest, houses why they feel so distressed?
How Mowing My Lawn Pulled Me from the Gender Closet
I’m a man now, but I was never a boy.
Throughout my childhood, I never felt like my gender as a girl limited my interests or opportunities. This is a bit surprising given my ultra-conservative upbringing, but it’s true. I’m sure if I were assigned male at birth, I would feel differently.
I never even felt like a boy, as far as I can recall. There were definitely some indications of my gender being… different, and I wanted to be one of the guys, but I assumed that just meant I was a tomboy.
And I was comfortable with that, more or less, all the way through college and into my early career.
States are Willing to Forgo Billions to Discriminate Against Trans Students
Statistics fluctuate considerably as to the approximate percentage of people who identify as trans, non-binary, genderqueer, or intersex. But, no figure I’ve seen exceeds 3% of the total population. Some estimates hover under .5%.
So, the current red-state obsession — over who should be allowed to use what bathroom or participate in school sports competition, whether a child should be allowed to take prescribed puberty blockers or choose their preferred pronouns directly affects, at absolute maximum, three out of every 100 persons… and probably far fewer.
Still, in state houses across the country, a ridiculously disproportionate amount of time and energy continues to focus on hysteria regarding school-aged trans and non-binary kids.
* This Week’s P&P Poetry *
Poetry for the Girls, Gays, & Theys
You are the music notes coming from Taylor Swift’s guitar.
Because this is our song.
I asked if I could paint your nails,
Just so I could slide my fingers in between yours.
That and I might’ve died to see you with black nail polish.
I had dreams about our kiss.
But I would awake to realize you were gone.
The kiss that never was.
Because you are gone.
I planned a picnic for our next date.
I wanted to make bracelets, …
* Fiction Series *
The Medellan Conspiracy
By Grayson Bell
As Ardyn and Jevan finally near the bottom of the mystery, learning the secret and forbidden history of Jevan’s people on a planet called Earth, an explosion rocks their ship. The mysterious Society of Sevens isn’t going to let those secrets out without a fight!
“The explosion took out a section of the outer hull on the research deck. Several of the labs were destroyed.”
The look on Laeyral’s face echoed what Ardyn felt. Oh, no!
“This is Laeyral. Was my lab one of the ones hit?”
“Yes. Based on initial scans, that was the center of the explosion.”
“How many more of these explosives are there?” Keryth asked.
“At least four more that we can detect.”
Keryth made his way back to where the Medellans had been rounded up. “Scan them and take any devices they might have. If they resist, they can take a nap while we search for them.”
Read Episode 73: Sabotage
Read Episode 74: Lorell
That’s all for Prism & Pen this week, folks, so happy reading!
Writers, have you seen our Pride prompt? Pride Is Under Threat. What Does That Mean for You This Year? We’ll be telling Pride stories all month. Join us!
And we’ll see y’all next Sunday for our final Pride special edition, until next year! ❤️
— Jim
