John CorteninThe HavenHow to Tell if You’re the Guy at the Bar No Wants to Talk ToThis may or may not be an intervention1h ago1h ago
John CorteninPitfallEnough With The Iron Oxide And Aluminum-Impregnated Cellulose Paint On Zeppelins, Already!An open letter from Harvey Hindsight2d ago12d ago1
John CorteninThe HavenSatan Irked by Constant Need to Renovate Hell to Outdo Chaos on EarthEvery time you people start a war, I need to at least redecorate2d ago32d ago3
John CorteninThe HavenNewly-Separated Male (61) Seeking Only Mature Women (20–25) With Super Hard BodiesIt’s also okay if you’re 18 and have severe daddy issues4d ago4d ago
John CorteninThe HavenUSA Men’s Olympic Soccer Team Training Harder Than Ever for Quadrennial FailureIt’s not as easy as they make it lookJul 24Jul 24
John CorteninThe HavenCarl’s Jr. Double Guacamole Bacon Burger Added to List of Banned Substances for Olympic SprintersProperly-timed consumption can provide unfair rear thrustJul 221Jul 221
John CorteninThe HavenGravity Gives up, Starts Letting Science Deniers Hurtle Into SpaceTreading extremely lightlyJul 18Jul 18
John CorteninThe HavenBatter Uses Moronic Hit-by-Pitch Rule to Achieve Perfect on-Base PercentageIt’s technically not cheatingJul 14Jul 14
John CorteninThe HavenProclaimers Admit They’re Actually From Trenton, New JerseyI’m gonna be the man who’s pecs are haverin’Jul 6Jul 6
John CorteninThe HavenAI Bans Humanizing of its Writing, Issac Asimov Rises From Dead For Victory LapJun 30Jun 30