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All Stories published by The Hairpin on March 10, 2011
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Senator Is Pro-Toilet-Choice

Oh noes! Poor crazy Sen. Rand Paul is upset about his toilet not working. You see, he has a crappy toilet and wants to install a fancier toilet, but the government won’t let him. You know what the government does do though? It lets women get abortions. So, using his powers of…

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Tiny Robber Called Out

“Fucking twat took my bag home.” — An elementary school assistant forgot to hang up the phone after leaving a polite voicemail about the five-year-old girl who “accidentally” took home her school satchel, and could be heard continuing to summarize the event for another person in the room…

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March 09, 2011
March 11, 2011

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