All stories published by The Hairpin on July 19, 2011

All Stories published by The Hairpin on July 19, 2011

The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

A Goodbye to Ambien in Dubai

by Amy Schumer

The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Job Opportunities, Older Professors, and Angel Hair Pasta

by A Dude

Nicole Cliffe in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

You May Have Read Rachel Sontag’s Awesome Memoir About Her Dad

…House Rules (not to be confused with the Jodi Picoult novel, not that you would), which was really well-received and sort of WHOA, FOR SERIOUS? and everything, but did you ever run across her dad’s completely incoherent…

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

What to Do If You Ask Someone to Get Plastic Surgery, But It Goes Wrong and You Stop Loving Her

“My girlfriend had a nose job done three years ago at my request. (I did not pressure her.) Tragically, the procedure went wrong and her face was disfigured. We stayed…

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Swimming Holes Will Kill You, Too

The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

10 Small Talk-Appropriate Questions to Ask Instead of “So When Are You Two Going to Have Kids?”

by Javacia Harris Bowser

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Qream Watch

“Inspired by royalty, I created this silky drink to celebrate the beautiful, independent and sophisticated women of today. It is a truly…

Nicole Cliffe in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

The New Summer’s Eve Commercials

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Putting On, Taking Off 1860s Lingerie

In the 17th century they let their breasts hang out, but in the Victorian era they tied them up with string, which romance novelists have been investigating for their bosomy romance-novel purposes.

The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Mindpop

by Nina Mitchell

I had a stroke when I was 26. My Mind went Pop: Mindpop. My stroke took away my limbs and speech for…

Nicole Cliffe in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

The Two Best Parts of A New Kind of Monster, Timothy Appleby’s Fine Book About Southern Ontario’s Most Recent Serial Killer

(Technically, he’s not a serial killer, because he got caught after his second victim, and apparently It Takes Three…

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Sexsomniacs

“In the middle of the night, my normally respectful and mild-mannered husband becomes a wild animal — I often awake to him pawing me and talking dirty in Italian, his native language. While he’s sleeping, we have full-blown intercourse (seamlessly switching positions during the act) and give and receive…

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

The Beastie Boys and Santigold, “Don’t Play No Games That I Can’t Win”

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Ooh, Bey

“There is room on this earth for many queens. I have an authentic, God-given talent, drive, and longevity that will always separate me from everyone else. I’ve been fortunate to accomplish things that the younger generation of queens dream of accomplishing. I have no desire for anyone else’s throne. I am very…

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

French Fried Yogurt

If you recall how French fries make you gain weight and yogurt makes you lose it, here’s a more in-depth look at that. Also addressed: wine, cigarettes, peanut butter, and full-fat dairy.

Edith Zimmerman in The Hairpin

Jul 19, 2011

Save the Date, Philadelphia: August 18

Ante, upped. Stay tuned, New York. [Thanks for the poster, Colleen!]

July 18, 2011

July 20, 2011