When Your Child Produces Dark, Foul, Adult-Style Excrement

About 20 minutes into his nap, the kid started crying. Naptime is usually pretty easy. This business about how little kids don’t understand they’re tired was always mysterious to me. My parents told me that when I was a toddler…

Game Misconduct: The Manny Ramirez Experience Is A Symbol Of Nothing

If there’s one 40-foot-tall glaring victim in the whole Manny Ramirez Experience it is the word “Fun.” When it comes to Fun, Manny was always non-stop, dumpster-diving, swimming-pool-filled-with. Should anyone be…

Flicked Off: “Adoration”

Yee-haw! It’s the first of three blockbuster movie opening weekends! RIGHT NOW there’s “Star Trek,” and then there’s “Angels and Demons” next weekend (Ha ha, I can’t wait!) and then “Terminator Salvation,” which is about an angry Christian Bale screaming at the future, on May 21, and…

iPhone Crap Apps Latest Signal Of Humanity’s Inexorable Decline

You know, now I kind of regret that the swine flu petered out so quickly. Because I want everyone to die.

Dick Cheney Fairwell Tour Rolls On

Dick Cheney wants new blood. (Yep, have at that one.) The former Vice President believes that “some of the older folks who’ve been around a long time-like yours truly-need to move on and make room for that young talent that’s coming along.” Cheney, now entering the…

Anecdotage: Small Mexican Businesses Suffering Due To Swine Flu Fear

According to an exclusive interview by an Awl correspondent with a taco truck vendor in Walla Walla, Washington this afternoon-population 30,000, and where about 1 in 5 residents are Latino and the rest are…

Talking Hats: The Awl & Wonkette’s Promo Reel For Advertisers!

Putin Rocks The House

Bumblebees Fly

Obama’s Not Going To Like This New Orleans Story Much Either

It’s not on front pages in New York City-here we get a story about how Chuck Schumer has stuffed Kirsten Gillibrand under his big meaty turkey wings, and why wouldn’t he?-but in the National edition of the New York Times…