All Stories published by The Awl on November 19, 2009

Difficult Listening Hour: Beck’s Harry Partch Tribute

by Seth Colter Walls

Of course NME and Pitchfork are trying to make it all about a beef with Radiohead (who, by the by, do tend to get overpraised even though, no, they don’t blow) but the point is: Beck has a…


Shocking Report Of Excessive Force By Arkansas Police

This cat is lucky he doesn’t live in Ozark, Arkansas. According to CBS News, police officers there recently tasered a ten-year-old girl. Oh, what’s this? “Ozark police were called to the home Nov. 11 after the girl’s mother couldn’t get the child to take a shower.” I guess that makes sense then.


Elements of Stale, with Luke Mazur: The Text

by Luke Mazur

So in high school we were forced to buy this English language handbook called Warriner’s. The book was bright red like an biohazard needle drop box, but that has nothing to do with the fact that the faculty…


Cordless Drills: Better Just To Look At

God bless Popular Mechanics. Here’s how they start their latest consumer report, ‘7 Small Drills Bore It Out: Tool Comparison Test’:

“How much cordless drill do you need? Probably not as much as you think.”


Knifecrime Island Update

A little late to this one, but with so many of our favorite trends coming together it would be remiss of us not to mention it: “A hairdresser who glassed another woman in the face leaving her covered in blood on the dance floor was identified by social networking site Facebook.” Also…


Christmas Yes, Homos No

Local color from the Sarah Palin book tour:

The event also drew its share of more ideological conservatives. Bob Weinert, 56, a fencing salesman from Lansing, said he’d heard Rush Limbaugh say recently that Palin is “the most conservative candidate out there.”…

Planets

Not Uranus

Here are some images of the planets in our solar system that are more recent than may be familiar with! The one above is Saturn! I wanted to do…


Gail Collins Rules OK

I am not sure what they’re putting in her water, but Gail Collins has been absolutely topping the charts over at the Times op-ed page for the last six months or so. They need to pass some of that stuff around.


Rudy Shan’t Fail

Rudy Giuliani has reportedly decided that he will not run for governor next year. The former mayor will instead devote his energies to fearmongering on the terrorism issue and popping up occasionally to remind everyone just how unpleasant he actually is.


The Fuzz On Facebook

The future is now: “University of Wisconsin-La Crosse student Adam Bauer has nearly 400 friends on Facebook. He got an offer for a new one about a month ago. ‘She was a good-looking girl. I usually don’t accept friends I don’t know, but I randomly accepted this one for some reason,’ the…


Don’t Piss Tony Off

Here’s a handy primer on how to argue before the Supreme Court. Lesson One: Don’t mock Scalia, he’s very thin-skinned. Lesson Two: Even though Clarence Thomas has not spoken since February 22, 2006, he’s still listening. Probably. [Via]

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