Public Apology: Dear Wendy Metzger

Dear Wendy Metzger,

I’m sorry for singing the last verse of “Stairway to Heaven” into your ear while we were slow dancing.

This was when we were in 7th grade. In Markham Place gym, getting towards the end of our first…

Real America, with Abe Sauer and Zack P.: The Awl 2010 Benefit Calendar

by Abe Sauer

‘Washington Post’ Publishes Sarah Palin OpEd

You know what? I’m not going to link to it. They shouldn’t be rewarded with the clicks, which is pretty much what this is about, I figure. So here’s the email we just got from the Washington Post, announcing tomorrow’s piece of Palinography:

What’s the Right Talking About Today? “THE JEWS ARE LESS THAN 3% OF THE POPULATION IN AMERICA BUT YET HAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN POLITICAL POWER”

A fresh missive from our crazed right-wing emailer, Tony Caputo! (Cc: “Ann Coulter…

The Tyranny of the Christmas Wish List

Look, I like some expensive products. It’s because I have extraordinarily good taste! Mmm…

Blame Your Gigantic Ass On The Economy

With so many of us facing financial difficulties during These Troubled Times, “more consumers are turning to processed foods, either prepared, frozen or canned and often filled with fat-generating calories, refined grains and sugars. Experts said that’s making…

New Generation Learns Lessons Of The Past

Oh, why not: Some kid in Boise got his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole. It is cold and raining and dull in New York this morning, so I’m a pretty easy mark, but I found this oddly charming for whatever reason.

It’s Grimm In The West Midlands

How are they celebrating Christmas over on Knifecrime Island? With a dose of gritty realism: “Humbug teachers at a primary school have come under fire for re-writing this year’s Christmas pantomime of Hansel and Gretel — to make them hooded yobs. The fairytale characters…

Orrin Hatch Gives Jews The Gift Of Song

Message From The Bunker

Due to the precipitation, the wireless here at the Awl offices is maddeningly inconsistent, and we’re both too poor to go to a bar or cafe where we might find more reliable access. How will this day play out? Stay tuned!

What a cheerful day this has turned out to be.

“In the past three years, the government has provided the nation’s schools with millions of pounds of beef and chicken that wouldn’t meet the quality or safety standards of many fast-food restaurants, from Jack in the Box and other burger places to…