All stories published by The Awl on December 03, 2009

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All Stories published by The Awl on December 03, 2009

Dec 3, 2009

Meghan Keane: ‘The Office’ is the Most Depressing Show on Television

by Meghan Keane

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Tom Ford and Jason Reitman: Narcissism and Status Anxiety

The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

The Poetry Section: Matthew Zapruder, ‘Global Warming’ and ‘White Castle’

by Mark Bibbins, Editor

Today in The Poetry Section: two new poems by Matthew Zapruder.

GLOBAL WARMING

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Are You a Chronic Meta-Enabler?

A number of us (and I am thinking her and her in particular) are sometimes mounting, and sometimes are…

Dave Bry in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Horrifying Demonic Giant Asian Carp Are Finally Here To Destroy Us

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

A Made-Up Story About Zac Efron

Here, have your mind blown with this story about Zac Efron on the set of Me and Orson Welles.

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

From the Mailbox: “HERE IS ONE JEW THAT HAS NO PROBLEM WITH CHRISTMAS”

We get mail! In fact, we are on some crazy email lists, including one run by some guy named Tony Caputo. (He needs a Tumblr, bad!) Today he finds hope for the future in the writings of Ben Stein, who is the…

Dave Bry in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

New Video: Raekwon, “Surgical Gloves”

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Flicked Off: ‘Up in the Air’

There’s so many different reasons to see a movie! Sometimes, you will be walking by a theater, and it will be…

Dave Bry in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Person Who Lived Next To “Kris Friendly”

Dear person who lived next to Kris Friendly in Harkness at Connecticut College during the fall semester of 1989,

I’m sorry for calling you at 2:30 in the morning on a Tuesday and asking you to knock…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Bad Jews

Is Israeli organized crime getting out of hand in Los Angeles? They are kneecapping rabbis.

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

What The Feet Are Trying To Tell You

My favorite part of this study-conducted at the behest of shoemakers Jeffrey West-on “the language of feet” is that Professor Geoffrey Beattie, who supervised the research, “was the resident psychologist on all nine Big Brother series.” That is some serious…

Choire Sicha in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Pretty, Pretty Time-Waster

This is far outside our bailiwick. However, it should be mentioned that this game, called Continuity, is…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

WTF WHO NEEDS MORE SCRUBS?

“This won’t end well,” says Ad Age’s Larry Dobrow of the new season of “Scrubs”, which, holy hell, how in the world is this show STILL ON TELEVISION? You deserve everything you get, America.

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

The Making Of Books

Is the idea of the celebrity memoir as publishing cash cow in decline? In Britain, at least, evidence is mixed. (Link includes some Martin Amis misogyny, if that’s your thing.)

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Happening Now

“There’s a false dichotomy being set up, between ‘nostalgia’ and ‘modernisation’. Nostalgia is the yearning for the loss of an idealised world, whereas modernisation is the grim reality we are faced with, whether we like it or not.” This was actually written about the Royal Mail, but it’s true of a lot of things.

Dave Bry in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

I Think I Smell Something That Smells Like A Bear Video

“The eligibility rules for the Pulitzer Prizes in journalism have been revised, opening the door wider to entries from text-based online-only newspapers and news sites, the Pulitzer Prize Board announced today.”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Disposable Flasks For Disposable Incomes

“I like these liquor-sacks. When you’re done, they fold flat, and their flexible form means that they could be easily secreted in the crotchal region to defeat all but the most enthusiastic of friskings. A win for secret alcoholics everywhere.” Restoration…

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

The Pope Is Dope

The Vatican’s Myspace celebrity playlist “features tracks from artists ranging from Shirley Bassey to rapper Tupac Shakur.”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Okay, one comment: Hahahahahaha.

Noted without comment: “Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we’re so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010.”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Is THAT what it’s all about?

I had no idea that there was so much controversy surrounding “The Hokey Pokey.”

Alex Balk in The Awl

Dec 3, 2009

Weather On the Ones!

If you are in New York City right now go outside immediately. I mean, leave this browser window open, obviously, but get out there: It is fucking fantastic, and you are going to need to store up all the joy you get from this last nice day to keep you going through the hard winter to come.