by The End of the 00s
by John Del Signore
Previously in our tale of Christmas-time Santa-employment: Part One.
“Plants are not static or silly. They respond to tactile cues, they recognize different wavelengths of light, they listen to…
So, possibly the most secretive billionaire in the whole world, a man that hundreds of reporters both in the finance world and the art world have begged for interviews, turns out to have once actually done one, the Post discovers…
We are mercifully approaching the end of the Christmas music season! Just a couple more days and you don’t have to think about “Silver Bells” for another year. But I’ve been thinking: When’s the last time we got a new Christmas song, one that…
For those that bought our 2010 Benefit Calendar, a few things! It looks like they’re shipping, so, 1) Here is an explanatory one-pager that you can print yourself, in case you’re giving these as gifts and you want it explained what the heck is going on here: It is a PDF…
“This is the most cowardly, selfish, arrogant news conduct out there today. What the fuck is ‘video and photos posted on the Internet’? How does that help readers? It’s as if I can go to www.internet.com, and there, on the…
Good morning! “The last Indochinese tiger in China was killed and eaten by a man who was yesterday sentenced to 12 years’ jail.”
There’s a new video for Jay-Z’s “Young Forever,” featuring Kanye West’s British discovery, Mr. Hudson. (That’s a funny name for a singer, right? Maybe he should sing “Broken Wings” next.) It’s not terrible. Like many Jay-Z videos, it features some nice black-n-white…
More than 300 pagans showed up at Stonehenge yesterday to celebrate the solstice. Unfortunately…
“Insurgents think of things we didn’t think about or were too lazy to mull over much. They have the spirits of street fighters. But whether you like them personally…
Dan Schneider, who is responsible for pretty much every non-animated show on Nickelodeon, has a list of “funny” phrases that deserve to be retired. It includes “Did I say that out loud,” “Too much information!” and the ever-popular “Really?” I would add the “with [X]’s [genitalia]” construction, but otherwise, yes.
Oh hello! As a special treat for this holiday season, we’ve commissioned some thoughts (both deep and shallow) from writers (both near and far) to look back (in anger or otherwise) on the 00s. (Whew!) You may think…
Pick your poison, because THIS is what’s out there today: Jingle Jugs are on sale for $9.99! or “what are you going to do? tell mom and dad i uploaded your dick sucking list to facebook?” Can’t we just call it Christmas already? Also, I cannot imagine how awful it must be to be a teenager in this modern era.
Jews actually monstrous to everyone, Jew-hating paper grudgingly admits.
Even though we are mired in a terrible recession, crime continues to fall nationwide. No one is quite sure why, but theories include extended unemployment benefits, the effects of the stimulus program, and the fact that pretty much…
“What I’d like someday is to own a porcupine.” -Subway vigilante Bernie Goetz chats with Cindy Adams. It was 25 years ago on this very day that Goetz, uh, “gained worldwide but unnecessary fame when he shot up four troublemakers on a train.” Happy Anniversary!
If you’re traveling from JFK’s Delta terminal today, expect delays. And possibly tear gas.
“I think Gen X is a very sarcastic generation, and sarcasm doesn’t really translate online. Gen Y has grown up interacting with people online. They’ve developed different social skills, a different rapport. Being sort of dry, sarcastic, snarky — that’s not going to get you any…
What was the worst song of this terrible decade? Here’s a very plausible candidate.
