Meet Ryan Kane! Ryan, from Oxfordshire, has earned the distinction of being the first person in England and Wales to be banned from drinking alcohol. Apparently the truculent type, Kane had already been barred from entering local pubs…

More on that porn study we mentioned the other day: “According to his research, said [University of Montreal Professor Simon Louis] Lajeunesse, men search out pornography that relates to their earliest sexual fantasies, generally conceived at age 12 at the onset of puberty…

The best part of this is that the “celeb” whose naked pictures prompted the question in the first place turns out to be the cocktail waitress who allegedly banged a Famous Golfer. It is indeed a brave new world.

I was walking to the Awl offices this morning and I got all the exercise I need for a month, according to a city Health Department study. SUCK IT, medical professionals who worry about my triglycerides! I am fit as…

“Monkeys can recognize photographs of other monkeys they know, proving that they can both detect differences in faces and figure out if they’ve seen them before, researchers report.” Soon they will be sexting!

Thousands of demonstrators will gather in Rome tomorrow for “No Berlusconi Day,” where they will demand that the Italian Prime Minister resign his office. That probably won’t do anything to get rid of him, but maybe the…

So last Sunday I read an op-ed in the Times, where some dude argues in favor of Catholic priests saying Mass, while facing the direction opposite of the congregation. Now, this op-ed was most…

“An article on Nov. 13 about Sean Bedford, the Georgia Tech offensive lineman who is also an aerospace engineering major, misstated the terms that David Scarborough, a senior research engineer, used in teaching the jet and rocket propulsion class…

, because the cows themselves will be immune to E. coli! Thanks to vaccines, and ingenuity. And no thanks to “bureaucratic delays in Washington.”…

Do you have any information about the owner of this little lost pony who was found wandering the streets of Southern California? Help a pony out!

“It’s ridiculous for someone to send my Facebook post. You guys are trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.”
 -Arlington, TN, mayor Russell Wiseman is upset that someone shared a private Facebook message in which he wrote that “Ok, so, this is…

“I was recently treated to an early prototype of a dessert that Marina Abramović, the ‘grandmother of performance art,’ created with the pastry chef Dominique Ansel.” -James Franco, in the Wall Street Journal.

Where did Jesus turn up this year? The folks at Buzzfeed break it down for you. (I thought I saw an image of Our Savior appear on the table in the Awl’s newsroom the other day, but it turned out to be a piece of a seriously decomposed croissant that Choire never bothered to clean up.)

“Are you the type who says you won’t get married till your gay friends can get married, too?
 No. I think the likelihood is that they’ll get married before I do.”
 -Your new favorite state senator talks to the folks at New York.

Paula Hawkins, “the first woman senator elected from the South and the first woman from any state elected to a full Senate term who was not the wife or daughter of a politician,” has died at the age of 82. A Florida Republican, Hawkins was elected in 1980 and served one term.

Got a couple hundred grand lying around? There’s still time to book passage on Richard Branson’s space shuttle. It sounds fun, lemme know how it is.

“Sen. Hiram Monserrate has been sentenced to three years of probation and one year of counseling for his misdemeanor conviction of assaulting his girlfriend with a broken glass, reports a Monserrate aide who was in the courtroom to hear the judge’s…

A sweary John McCain told Don Imus that he’s madder than he’s ever been, which, for a guy with rage issues, has got to be plenty mad. Maybe Cindy should stay at one of the other houses tonight.