Any article about premature ejaculation-even one concerning a spray makes men last six times longer before shooting-is what we in the blogging business think of as low-hanging fruit: much like premature ejaculation itself, it’s quick, predictable, and at least you’ve enjoyed it, even if…

Here is a handy guide on how to get little bits of your drugs out of those tiny jars in which they are sold! “Rather then trying to pull all of the moisture out, I chose to go the opposite route and stir it up with some nasal spray, for a sort of discreet, rich-lady-whose-family-doesn’t-know-what’s-up vibe.”

Trevor Butterworth, of STATS, and Damien Cave, of the Times, today have suggested that full-time media consultant (including to the dangerously ill Newhouse Newspapers) and Google enthusiast Jeff Jarvis stop complaining and start doing, on the occasion of Jarvis’ latest very angry…

Here are some PRO TIPS for gays looking for work. Noted: “Everyone wins when you’re versatile.”

Business Roundtable has released a report on America’s CEOs; it says a survey finds CEOs lacking “confidence”! Why are America’s leaders so bereft of confidence? Who did this to them? Well, they will get some confidence the old-fashioned way: “More than two-thirds of CEOs surveyed said they planned more layoffs.”

England is awesome: “A Manchester gangster who murdered a mourner at the funeral of his previous shooting victim has been jailed for a minimum of 39 years.”

Former “Night Court” producer viciously turns on Los Angeles Times! Not only does it have a picture of a scary woman on the front page, it makes him sneeze!

His local newspaper is driving him craaaaazy!

Bernie Madoff had his first conjugal visit late yesterday. I wonder if he will ever find the afikomen she left in his 7.5-by-8 foot double-bunk cell.

Oooh, revolution is brewing in the Republic of Moldova! Again! Out in the land-locked home of 4 million winemakers and peasants, the young people are pissed about the election to the Parliament over the weekend of the Communist Party; at least 10,000 college students tried to…

Demon-love-magic-goddess Courtney Love has caught up with the identity thieves that have apparently been robbing Kurt Cobain’s estate blind for most of the 00’s. Now she is going to sue them all, says her lawyer. Isn’t it neat when the evil people you imagine are…

Good morning indeed!

So, yeah, hi there! We heartily endorse and echo these sentiments from Twittering British celebrity Russell Brand. Even the ones where he slags off his government.

Hey, are you people watching Masterpiece Theater’s “Little Dorrit”? It is so good. It is on the PBS now. Also it stars the hot Mr. Darcy. Then there are a million genius comics and character actors, like Ruth Jones. I sure love you, hot Mr. Darcy. Also an excellent time for a satire regarding bureaucracies and finance!

The body copy: “Almost. In a town hall Tuesday afternoon in Istanbul, Obama told Turkish students that they will be able to judge his accomplishments ‘four years from now or eight years from now.’”
 
 The headline: “Obama Announcing Reelect?”

“The theme this year is innovation, a solid choice that nonetheless made some attendees wish the calendar said 1999, not 2009.” Publishers attending the Newspaper Association of America’s San Diego convention are all out of deck chairs to rearrange.

Oh good. Randy Cohen, the NY Times “Ethicist,” now also has a blog. Just what we needed, more people commenting on the news and offering unsolicited opinions to Madonna.

There is an UrbanBaby mom who has an urgent question:

ANy HR moms on? I need help. I have been interviewing candidates for an entry level position in a lifestyle PR capacity. Have someone I like, but her look needs improvement. How do…

Employees of Britain’s National Health Service will be encouraged to lose weight as part of a new government campaign, which, it is hoped, will improve “the chances that their patients will listen when told to cut calories.” Because everyone knows you’re far more likely…

Where the buzz is.

The Times has some interesting maps from “The Geography of Buzz,” a study based on “thousands of photographs from Getty…

Variety hates Amy Poehler NBC comedy advertainment vehicle “Parks and Recreation.” Therefore I will love it. For three episodes. Then I will blog about how I hate it. Then it will pile up on my DVR and I will watch five episodes back to back and love it…

Unfortunately most of these reviews come over Twitter, from a surprise screening in Austin, Texas, so they are like the diaries of 12-year-old girls. But in the end? If you read all the excited burblings, they actually don’t sound so thrilled! “Sure, it plays to the fan base a little…

Guess what? We don’t care that the premiere of the last season of The Hills was on last night! And you know what? There comes a point in every reality TV star’s…

Turns out that the more money you make, the less likely you are to smoke. Unless you happen to earn less than $12k a year, in which case you fall right in the middle, and probably have more serious concerns, hierarchy-of-needswise.

New video footage emerges of Ian Tomlinson, a bystander who died of a heart attack shortly after being shoved to the ground by police at the G20 protests.

Today’s tabloid covers: “Which is worse: devoting so little space to the season opener on page one that it does you no good, or choosing the wrong story to play big?”

Bring back the rope.

Why do the English hate their children? Because they’re vicious killers, every one.

IMF board member and former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson’s son is: 1. incredibly hot! 1B. named Merritt 2. very tall and into sports. 3. not so good at getting things done. He is occupied with trying to build a major league soccer stadium in Portland, Oregon. But now his…

Gratuitous photogallery of the day: Shoulder pads are in again! Go ahead and click, we’ll be here when you get back.

In case you’re scoring at home, the Observer’s George Gurley is still moving his bowels regularly.

BREAKING! The President made a special stop in Iraq! Probably to do secret Muslim stuff. You know how he is.

Forza Williamsburg!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3sqAZ0OcMo

This South African spot about a talking burger is, as AdFreak notes, another entry in the bizarre category of commercials…

Our motto, maybe? “The smart thing to say, I think, is that the way out of this bind is to work your way somehow back to your original motivation-fun.”-David Foster Wallace.

Meghan McCain, political pundit: “For all the criticism that the Bush administration came in for, risks were taken (like supporting the Iraq troop surge) that wound up benefiting the GOP in the long run.”

Your tax dollars at work: “General Motors is teaming with Segway, the scooter company, to develop a battery-powered vehicle to cut urban congestion and pollution. The companies plan to announce the partnership Tuesday in New York, where they are testing a…

I guess if you’re going to be misquoted it could be worse: “Because of an editing error, a Sports of The Times column on Saturday, about the new ballparks for the Yankees and the Mets, erroneously attributed, in some editions, an observation to Joe…

“I put superglue on a sandwich and gave it to Al Sharpton.”

Beyonce’s Vagina Armor sounds like the great unreleased sequel to Erykah Badu’s seminal 2000 release Mama’s Gun.

The bloggers have thrown down now. They are demanding that fancy news reporters start acting as such, not acting like les blogeurs. This is frightening. Says Wonkette: “YOU DO NOT ‘PARODY’ THE NEWS IN THE PROCESS OF REPORTING THE NEWS. You people are supposed to be covering…

Did President Obama tell Europe he was “sorry about the Bush years”? And if not, shouldn’t he have?

The thing about gun nuts: everyone is so focused on the “gun” part that they tend to ignore the “nuts” part. And really, that’s the part we should be focused on.

Good news, Vermont gays! Your state legislature overrode your governor’s veto and legalized gay marriage! Now you can make it official without having to schlep to Iowa. Which we’re sure is a lovely place and all, but, you know.

Time’s Mark Thompson takes a look at suicide among army recruiters (“Last year alone, the number of recruiters who killed themselves was triple the overall Army rate.”) It’s a disturbing piece that is slightly spoiled by the constant series of throws to photogalleries (“See pictures of…

They’re so cute when they’re earnest: “Nearly 20 bloggers launched a ‘blog rally’ to support The Boston Globe and seek ideas to help the financially struggling newspaper, threatened with a shutdown by its owner, The New York Times Co.” Nearly 20! I have a feeling everything’s gonna turn out just fine.