Obviously everyone everywhere is turned inside out by this week’s Us story on Lindsay Lohan. Particularly because-wait, what? “’Everyone’s turned on me,’ says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her…

“If you ever forget you’re a Jew,” wrote Bernard Malamud, “a Gentile will remind you.” But sometimes a Jew will too. Take David Sax, who writes about “the New Yiddishists” for Vanity Fair. Have you heard about the New Yiddishists? Of course you haven’t; Sax just made them up. Apparently…

“Circumcisions are down by 24 percent in the 16 states where foreskin removal is not covered by Medicaid.”

The City Room blog had a competition for logos of the forthcoming World Trade Center building! We like this one. We think. The whole thing is, I dunno, somewhere between disturbing and amusing and irritating. Anyway they have a few more years, decades, whatever, to work on the logo before the building gets a foundation.

“Nearly 40 percent of babies born in the United States in 2007 were delivered by unwed mothers.”

The recession has come to this already: shared rooms, with bunkbeds, available in New York City’s lovely Greenpoint. They are called “guesthouses.” They cost $225 a week for “nonstudents.” They are essentially illegal hostels in failed condo buildings. This is neat. It is sort of like…

Oooh, get your tickets to the screening of Jim Henson’s Youth ’68 now. The hour-long doc plays on May 6 at the 92nd St. Y’s Tribeca Screening Room. You will surely run into fans of the early pre-Muppet experimental work of Henson such as Neil Patrick Harris. (Uh, “no homo” to that whole sentence.)

Our revolutionary anti-Communist Party student friends in adorable landlocked Moldova are organizing via Twitter, says the delightful Ellen Barry in the Times! Maybe the idiot status-update service is not so bad. Except now they are all just retweeting the article. Noise! Signal! Noise!

Fox has picked up “Someone’s Gotta Go,” a reality show “which enters real businesses across the country and gives employees the power to decide which one of them will be terminated.” We really are on the road to “Rape an Ape,” aren’t we?

Stephen Metcalf on Morrissey and the 80s: “I think the word that best captures the times is heartless, as evident in the stupid rictus of Sting’s face, circa 1983, as it was in Margaret Thatcher’s budget cuts. No wonder Morrissey’s voice sounded so fresh, so slyly…

Ain’t no stopping them now. Gays now will not rest until they can wed in any state they wish-even the crappy states! Reports the Times: “’It’s a bad day for the country,’ said Brian Brown, executive director of the National Organization for Marriage.” That’s right Brian…

Oh no, here we go, brand new: Dork Yearbook. Book deals! Tumblr deals! Blog books! TV Shows! Katie Couric! I can smell the success from here.

Manhattan real estate trendwatch: “portfolio deals” are dead. Folks buy their buildings one at a time now, if they buy them at all.

I’ve pretty much organized my life around never borrowing money from “a concrete cement contractor.” Perhaps Hamptons restaurateurs might consider doing the same?

Things we already knew but it sure is nice to have it down in black and white: U.S. Army doctors are told not to diagnose PTSD in soldiers, because they don’t want to pay for disability.

You should really have a look at the New York City campaign to get gay people to come to New York. (Yeah, like they’re not already all here? Have you been outside today? It’s overdressed Jews for Passover and gays gays gays.) Oh, it is highly embarrassing, this…

A 38-year-old British mum got sick of her two daughters, ages 11 and 14, “moaning” all the time, so she left them at home with 30 pounds and went off on a five-day holiday in Spain. We wish our…

“The average rent in Los Angeles County fell almost 4% in 2008 as apartment occupancy rates dropped and new units came online. The decline should continue this year as more renters lose their jobs.”

Commenters are the future of newspapers

by Alex Balk

I’m sorry, everything about this is hysterical to me.

The 2009 Guggenheims have been announced! Now is that time every year when you go through the list and say out loud, “That bitch got a Guggenheim?” But good news! This year, there’s Alexi Worth, who also wrote for a good while the art gallery snippets in the front of the New Yorker.

UK POLICE FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES IN THE AIR AGAINST BLINDING DEATH-LASERS!

Barack Obama should stay chained to his desk until the economy is perfect again, because otherwise we’re going to get more articles like this, explaining how “voters” are too stupid to understand that part of a president’s job is to meet with the leaders of other countries, sometimes on foreign soil.

“Crew members of a U.S.-flagged ship have regained control of the vessel from pirates who seized it, a Pentagon official said Wednesday.”

Who says morning TV is stupid? (From, weirdly, Politico.)

The Black Cab Sessions-the British website where a variety of indie musicians play a song while driving around in the back of a, yes, black cab-is taping some performances here in New York! The first clip features Dawn Landes.

Bloomberg’s Matthew Lynn has an ABSOLUTELY INSANE column today expressing sympathy for the pitiful businessmen who are forced to shell out money to the trophy wives they’ve discarded even in the teeth of this dismal economic climate. Lynn writes with a tongue-in-cheek tone which will probably provide…

“One of the saddest ironies about the possible demise of the Boston Globe is that most of us in Boston got the news when we woke up last Saturday morning and read about it in the Globe,” writes Fortune’s David Whitford. If that qualifies as ironic, then it is rather sad. There’s a better story here: “The…

There is only $135 billion left unspent in the original bailout pool of $700 billion.