Hating everything and everyone else who’s not just like them all the time ain’t easy…
With Awesome Games Done Quick just around the corner, and runners about to make the trip to Virginia this Sunday, I wanted to make some things clear about speedrunning. Knowing these terms may be vital to understanding the process, so I’m going to convey this…
Remember this adorable video of kids taking the Marshmallow test? The premise: a lady gives them a marshmallow and says something along the lines of, “if you wait until I come back to eat the marshmallow, you get another marshmallow.”…
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ics/213/
Hello young, nubile college senior! You have dozens of options for cities to move after graduating from your elite university: everything from New York to Los Angeles to maybe Boston for a year or two if…
“I can’t believe that Monk missed all those 3-point shots against U of L.” Jesus plopped another piece of yellowfin sashimi in…
It’s too easy to drastically alter the phony outrage-ability of a statement simply…
I’m confused about pants, lately.
My mom got me a pair of pants for Christmas. I liked them, when I first took them out of the box…
Twenty F. Sixteen died suddenly on Saturday night, December 31st, 2016, at the stroke of midnight from injuries sustained in a…
I have a crystal ball. Its quite amazing. It tells me things. Things I never ask for though. This is one of those things. It told me about how horrible Nuttella is before anyone else and I don’t even eat the stuff! My crystal ball is much like Alexa if Alexa…
Ha! So far, the worst that has happened is an ad hominem attack calling me: disrespectful, whining, immature, likely an untrustworthy friend, and excessively convinced of my own virtue. (One might think a certain someone was looking in the mirror.)
In my humble, semi-journalistic opinion (I’m a humor columnist as opposed to an actual journalist)…
Dear Your Friends @ Medium,
My count of Followers has dramatically increased recently, by approximately 30% in two weeks. On the basis of a small sample, many of these new acolytes are already Following as many people as I am, while having no more than two Followers themselves. Clearly they are being told (perhaps gently)…
NO!!!!! Nonononono!!!!!
Outside a’ my window there is a pile of bricks. I don’t know where it came from, it just appeared one day. At first it wasn’t a pile, just a single brick one day. I have no idea where it came from, and I swear I didn’t put it there. Just a single brick on a Tuesday morning.
A extremely long time ago, shortly after the dinosaurs met their maker, in fact, I made a momentous life…
This phenomenon is when a group of people decide to all wear saris on a particular day…
(Kissing the Crisis, Kara Martinez Bachman, February 2017)
In Kissing The Crisis, the crisis is middle age, and the kisser is a New Orleans wife and mother of two. At 45, she is hypercritical of her physical shape and totally lost over the human…
Well, if you’re reading this, you got through the last 12 months of what could only be described as a damnable, protracted period of relentless soul-sucking misery and tribulation. I don’t think I’m alone in saying, 2016 was the giant, festering carbuncle on the ass of the last…
I’m so tired of you on the left (I have a few adjectives I’d like to add but I’m trying to be tolerant) pushing the doom & gloom scenarios of Pres. Elect Donald Trump that I want to throw up. Please tell me who you’d like to be Pres. And if you say Hillary anything you say after that will only serve to make me believe you are a nonperson!! And of low intellect. Mr. Ishac, I find your message offensive!!!
“Pirates did this?” asked Cloud incredulously.
So..who is this guy?
Rajendra (affectionately known as Raju), moved from Mumbai to Toronto over 40 years ago. He came in pursuit of a better life, like so many of his fellow immigrant friends during that time. 40 years…
With Vin Diesel (Xander Cage) in the movie, it is expected to be a boom. He returns after everyone’s thought that he is dead to accomplish a task but he becomes entangled in problems that even want to finish him off.
Trying to build on last year’s extraordinary momentum, celebrity death pool participants have eagerly begun making their 2017 lists. Poolers attempt to predict which…
Human Wind Chimes
Mr. Adams (or may I call you “Chucks?”):
I appreciate your speedy and comprehensive reply! Thanks for sending me the picture of the bank draft. It’s really small. Are all CBN bank drafts that…
Be good on Christmas Eve unless you want a friendly reminder to do so.
I always liked Christmas Eve as a kid. I loved being able to open one big gift the night before Christmas. When I was in 8th grade, that one big gift was a pair of…
Last week my colleague Mike and I were talking about the number of ties we have that rarely get worn…
“The House leadership will get a chance to prove their opposition Tuesday, when a public vote on a rules package that includes the changes to ethics oversight will occur on the House floor.”
Okay, if we are talking action-oriented journalism, then these last sentences all but directly suggest: “phone your representatives to…
Pukestew
This unattractive noun denotes the immense amount of information and data that is available to us on a constant basis. It has become associated with bad or anxiety creating news, but the original use clearly included pleasurable and desirable elements. The…
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.” Dr. Seuss
Inicialmente, quando criei O Diário da Gravata, não me apresentei como autor da…
I write a blog called Negative-Soundbyte which I have posted to every week since mid September 2016 and sporadically before that. It is my creative outlet and is based primarily on what I see going on around me — hopefully with a…
(If you didn’t know, wat is an Ethiopian stew. Now you know.)
Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern at the Ethiopian Restaurant
Dear Aunt Caroline,
It was good seeing you in Roanoke. April was charmed. She likes you a lot, and I’m glad we got to reconnect.
“It was a planned hit, that much we know,” the Captain said. “Took out the entire squad. Floored that Caddy and ran over every last damned one of ‘em.”
Nice use of the interrobang!
Bangalore has undoubtedly the best weather. The light breeze, hide and seek of the sunshine, the lush greenery surrounding us on all sides, all of it makes this place so special. Now that Sunday is here, we all must have something in our mind to do. If you are planning on staying back in…
So turns out it’s not all that mysterious.
National Geographic People is about food and Travel Channel is about food and around half the other channels on TV are about food. The other half are news channels that are either…
Things I’ve Learned from Watching The Twilight Zone Marathon | Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world… on WordPress.com
Things I’ve learned from watching the Twilight Zone marathon for three days:
1. Nuclear war is bad. You want to stay the hell away from that shit. 2. Never trust genies…
La evolución de Star Wars
Originally published at monstruosity.blogspot.com on January 3, 2017.
So I was scrolling through Facebook one day and came across an ad for Beard Czar. The ad had said celebrities were using it such as Drake and Keanu Reeves. Now I myself don’t have any facial hair at all. I can barely grow some chin hair and that’s about it. So I decided to order…
Handheld devices and smartphones are a group in the latest technology in smartphone design. They are phones with wide acceptance and loved by many for the quality in the technology behind them. They however come down with…
DAY FOUR RECAP — TROUBLE WITH HAWK
Okay, I’m starting to realize these daily recaps are not good for my mental health. Especially when we have another zero sales day like yesterday. I can’t promise this won’t be the last one.
Inteligen Increase Your Brain Power Quickly Thus is its counterpart in pet sports, as Ultimate Frisbee has become popular like a sport. Cd pet or Frisbee dog had fascinated both dogs as well as their owners to coach hard and participate in functions like…
My 2017 New Year’s Resolution is one that I’m pretty sure I can accomplish:
Humor can tear down walls when properly wielded and build walls and destroy relationships when improperly handled.
I’m not a big fan of lists, especially the nitpicky chore of keeping a list. I don’t have a “Life List” of birds I’ve seen…
When I was very young, my family went to a theater to see the MGM epic, How the West Was Won. It’s a long film (2…
Testabolan Cyp :- In these circumstances, you should counsel a specialist adjacent and he will propose you some particular tests. The aftereffects of those tests will obviously demonstrate whether the reason for each one of those signs is the drop…
So. Fuck. I’m sorry but this moment deserves that word. I’ll try to say it less in 2017. Maybe. Like one time less.
I almost ruined Christmas for my son. I had that effing elf in a box for Christmas receipts and I forgot and opened the damn thing in front of him. He…
Periodic Devils.
