Moriva oggi San Matteo, apostolo ed evangelista. Vi racconterò di quando salvò il…
Have you met people…
I was grocery shopping not too long ago when a woman caught my attention. I only saw her from behind but she wore teeny, tiny hot pink shorts that may have been a bathing suit bottom, her hair was so long that it grazed the top of her buttocks and her shoes were heels with…
Dear President Trump,
I thought I was winning for sure but then I lost my kid trying to ford the river and now I have dysentery. Dang it.
The media gives millennials a lot of flak for being entitled and spoiled. As a millennial, I take issue with…
Gun Dracula stood over the corpse of a ghost. He’d killed it with his gun; it took more than a few bullets, on account of them going clean through the ghost with no real damage, but Dracula’s diligence in shooting the ghost and faith that the bullets would eventually take…
If the penis could do what the pussy’s can do they would be on postage stamps.
Jane Fonda
January 20, 2017
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
There is, apparently, no limitation on how disappointed you can be.
Trump signed a new Executive Order today establish “America’s new favorite shows”
Public toilet etiquette and noise pollution
A problem I’m sure my fellow females will share with me is the utilisation of The Public Toilet.
I work in a call centre where, due to (fabulous) technology, my every minute is monitored — if…
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ics/228/
I don’t really like baseball. I used to. I liked the Yankees when I was a kid living in the suburbs of Boston. It was probably the influence of Ken Griffey Jr baseball on N64, but for whatever reason, Scott Brosious, Paul Oneal, Tino…
Taking a swig of coffee I smash on the closet light. The room fills with the static of inanimate objects…
Eats bacon, shaves, drinks beer. Worst. Muslim. Ever.
Twenty-nine year old Product Marketing Associate Jared Walsh spent the five minutes before his conference call this morning wondering if he had just smelled his own fart. Frantically recounting his breakfast, Walsh…
You may have seen a popular comic strip about the massive discrepancy in…
Prior to talking about me, I would like to introduce to you a certain species that will play a major role in this story: the self-important…
The part of the Earth from which I hale, has been in a terrible drought for a spell…
At She Leads Africa SLAY festival last weekend in Lagos, Pastor Idris Belo-Osagie sat on a panel discussing what being a man in the 21st century is like. The panel also included the lowkey douchebaggery of Audu Maikori and Nigerian rapper (I’m too much of a fan girl to throw shade) M.I. I believe there was a fourth person but I didn’t actually walk…
Frases Sobre Casamento
O primeiro ano é o mais difícil…. Os restantes são impossíveis.(Isidoro Loi)
I had idea sex yesterday and it was awesome. It was a ménage à trois. Yowzaas! You guys…
I saw a wallet lying on the subway platform this morning. I picked it up. In it was hundreds of…
A little about me, in the words of the ‘ONE’ who made me!
Painters sketch, writers write drafts, sportspersons have practice matches and the army does mock drills. All professions across the globe hone their skills well enough before the big day or the big moment arrives. Why should…
“The ‘Electronic Leash’” @CarrieM1971 https://medium.com/@CarrieM1971/ive-raised-my-kids-but-there-s-no-escaping-the-electronic-leash-41ed7c8c934e
La línea (del tiempo) de la percepción
Originally published at monstruosity.blogspot.com on January 24, 2017.
According to recent studies, it was found that…
I just can’t seem to get my brain to cooperate. I love my brain, really, it’s a thinker, and a dreamer, and…
January 24, 2017, 9:36 AM
United States officials announced this month that facts would be added to the U.S. endangered species list.
Friday, January 20th, 2017.
*I am in the middle with this one*
Here at Mama Minutes we take Me time very seriously, so seriously we decided to conduct a very unscientific poll to see when Mums made time for themselves.
We asked our lovely followers when they took their Mama Minutes. There were 4 categories
— А вот есть у нас один въетнамец, Бао, так вот его имя у нас уже — имя нарицательное. Мы даже придумали такой термин, как БаоБаг. В общем, этот въетнамец заводит баги, половину которых в Jira’е закрывают как “Invalid”. На что он их потом заново открывает и закрывает как “Fixed”… Такое…
Adrienne,
I think your point is valid that arguments cannot be substantiated with opinions. However, Miss Spears, though persuasive, does not seem arguing (I’m not infallible, but I do not read that. She’s offering her take on another’s opinion.
That’s the Roman numeral for 500, which is the number of you that there are as of this evening. How Pants Work has 500 followers. How Pants Work is, like, all of three weeks old. So that’s really good, right?
Honestly, we don’t know. We’re still getting our heads around this Medium thing.
Excellent little bit of satire, though I disagree with the Bible being “fake news.” In any case, if you liked the above, you’ll also like this one: https://medium.com/@chuckingrocks/god-save-us-all-97366f31f145#.5xrkm9v8g
Us, The Spoiled Ones
- Postponing Myself -
Day 225
Tuesday is the new Monday. At least that’s what I’ve heard here. Never bother anyone first…
So last story was all about how 2016 was extra shitty for my family because my mom and sister had the fun bonding experience of being in breast cancer treatment at the same time. I’ll continue the trend of spoiling the end of the story you so can’t get mad when it gets worse and worse- today’s story starts with my sister being an otherwise healthy…
This weekend was rough for all of us. Friday’s Trump inauguration ushered a new time of uncertainty and fear for our nation. Yes, Saturday’s Women’s March was a huge success, but in the aftermath the atheist community…
Parents strive to make their children happy. When they are infants, it’s not too difficult. You feed them, change them, bathe them and rock them to sleep. They cry, you cry, no one sleeps, but ultimately, everyone’s in love with each other. In elementary school they start telling you…
This piece first appeared here for Robot Butt.
23.5 points… that’s approximately 1.17 shitloads (Imperial, of course, this is America) of points. Like, I kind of can’t believe I…
You heard me. I want to talk shit. Not shit about my Catholic, male chauvinistic, racist, prick of a CEO, but about actual…
Diary of a clumsy girl in a new country — Suitcase Crunch
Imagine the roller coaster of emotions surging through when you open your eyes and find yourself plucked from your warm and cozy cocoon and left in the estranged vastness and anonymity of a big city full of new life. A bewildering mixture of fear and excitement, isn’t…
Tuesday
A head full of
My youngest son is picky. Let me explain how picky. When we were at Disneyworld when he was four, he made up a chant. “I like pizza, I like macaronis, I like trees (broccoli), and I LIKE CHICKEN.” Since that time, we have…
07 December, 2017 — Fix My Glasses is a service that will repair glasses frame using the latest welding technologies and leaving absolutely a remarkable result.
Hello everyone!! Some real estate news! Frank Maglio and I are rolling out some major things in real estate in…
This piece originally appeared on McSweeney’s:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/deregulated-cdc-handwashing-guidelines
Under the Trump Administration’s more lenient regulations, the Centers for Disease…
“I tell ya Red” said Spectre, “I hated maths.”
Sunshine
For the longest time I’ve spent, occupied by that one thought.
As much as it grieves me, probably 90% of my communication with humans* is done over texting. (Everyone knows that phone calls are only for official biz, your ‘rents, and bae.) This exposure has given me astounding insights into the…
Today Trumps new F E M A Director, Colonel Sanders, held his first news conference. He said buckets of chicken, buy the truck load, are headed down south, and up north, to help out. He added, he was giving the federal government a great deal, and there could be no conflict of interest because, and I quote, “ I’m fucking dead!”
“I think I may start eating healthier,” I mentioned as I scrapped the last bits of melted cheese off the bottom of the pizza box.
But is he a dental floss tycoon?
At Ketterman Rowland & Westlund, we take a compassionate approach to difficult Mesothelioma cases. Your Philadelphia Mesothelioma Attorney has the experience needed to seek financial compensation if you or someone you love developed Mesothelioma because of…
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I think a lot of people would agree that 2016 was, overall, a bullshit year. On top of the deaths of brilliant actors, legendary musicians, and the end of semi-dignified elections as we once knew them, my family also spent the year taking care of my mother while she was in treatment for breast cancer. Nine months into her treatment, my 37-year-old…
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