CYBERHARASSMENT: THE NEWEST INNOVATION IN ONLINE DATING
All the single ladies, put your hands up! Are you tired of online dating? Boy, I sure am! No matter what sites I’ve used, I just can’t seem to find my Mr Right. But I’ve discovered an exciting new way to at least find my Mr Alt-Right, and just in time for Valentine’s…
January 26, 2017
I’ve waited 27 years to get to 2017 and I’m fucking stoked that it’s finally here. I have big things planned for this year. And not…
Existe essa ideia no Brasil, principalmente entre a elite “sensível-intelectual”, de que comediante é cusão, se ele for homem-branco-cis-hetero é pior ainda, pois claro, todo homem-branco-cis-hetero é malvado por natureza. Mas…
Não é que eu nunca tenha voado de avião. Já voei sim, várias vezes. Mas nunca em avião cargueiro, e graças a Deus por isso. O…
El Verduzco, what does it even mean? It wouldn’t surprise me if it were the Aztec god of deliciousness!
First and foremost, disregard any nay-sayers for they love soggy french fries stuck…
When I was in my early twenties, I was packing up and getting ready to move across the country. I was living in Kansas City at the time, and my parents lived in a smaller town in Western Kansas. Before I had all my bags packed to head west, I thought it would be a good opportunity to spend a…
Five blind men were taken to the zoo to “see” an elephant. They were each allowed to feel the elephant, and describe it.
A criminalidade é um problema sério no Brasil. As autoridades, a população, as organizações do terceiro setor. Todos têm uma opinião sobre qual a melhor forma de diminuir os crimes, mas ninguém chega a um consenso.
There are way more than three reasons not to have children, but I have children. Three girls. Ages: five, three, and one. I don’t have the time or energy to go through any more than three of them. I’m not even sure I have it in me to get through that much. But nonetheless here we…
I don’t like what the
NFL stands for but I
love artichoke dip.
Eight years ago, my kitchen was bleak. My pantry was empty and my life felt like it was in shambles. I needed to be able to cook a dish that would simply wow people, to prove that there was something bigger in my life. I asked — can I make a delicious, moist…
I know this can be a tough time of year, but take your head out of the oven- a bunch…
It’s not the toilet seat, left up, for the millionth time.
Really it’s you. You are the problem.
I’m twelve days early for Hourly Comic Day, but I desperately needed a substitute for all the mad facebook posting and sharing I would have otherwise done. Whether or not boycotting social media would have made a huge impact, it was better for my personal well-being to stay away from…
(co-written with my sister Kitty Gibson)
The Oscar nominations were announced this week and the internet is abuzz with predictions for who this year’s big winners will be. While everyone else is doing that, let’s look forward to the…
Wendy’s is killing it with snark. Pop over to @Wendys on Twitter, and you will find a brand that is pushing boundaries and having a blast. It’s absolutely delightful to watch.
Presented in Trump Speak
I’m always the funniest person in the room, I’ll tell you this, Its true, I’m always the funniest and I’ll go to a different room and I’ll look around and I think these are all my best friends and I’m the funniest and if a horse walks in you…
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ics/230/
“You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.”
Llega una mujer muy fea a la caja del supermercado con sus dos hijos, uno de 16 y el otro de 9 años de edad, y el cajero le preguta:
I wasn’t going to bother with this, but on Monday, January 23, 2017 President Trump brought it up again. This time, at a dinner with congressional leaders. He told top senators and representatives that he would have won the popular vote had it not been for so many illegal…
The coffee business reaches all walks of life, from the Average Joe (pun not intended,) to the Hardcore Caffeine Junky. This makes it difficult for baristas to connect together online, as our search for one another is buried under 10,000 Instagram posts about Deborah’s cup of Folgers…
I’m a 65 year old white guy.What could be more bland?
Lisa Renee , of the approximately 120 people who have viewed this post, you are the first to take the bait on the David Remnick letter. And here I thought that Medium was a haven for literary eggheads!
That is my hand in more ways than one. I wrote that phoney letter. I had a friend who was temping at the New Yorker office…
If tech put 10% of its energy into social good, what would happen?
I have probably 20 empty notebooks. I bought some but most come from work conferences and gifts. I would never buy a Moleskine because of the cost and the fact that I already have enough notebooks for the next few years , but I just got a Mauderer’s map one of my birthday, and have been using it for a literary workshop I’m taking. I like that it’s…
Picture source: Mediumite’s gallery
It feels great to be back
As a kid, I had to endure my fair share of embarrassing moments. I mean who looks back at their yearbook pictures in grade school and think, “Oh yea! That was a good time! Didn’t feel awkward about myself for one second. Look at that combo of…
Every Saturday evening as I headed off to bed, Mary Richards headed off to work. But not before reminding me, “You’re gonna make it after…
I have come to the conclusion that the overmedicated masses have control of the minority [the sane ones].
Having gone around the bend a time or two, I know of whence I speak. Believe me folks the return to sanity isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Like Yogi use to say; “Nobody…
MQ: “Fuck.”
Loved this! I’ve been a recovering Catholic for close to 6 years and I completely get the whole “analyze, laugh and worry” crap literally every day. I’ve been told I disappointed my grandmother before her death for not marrying in the Catholic Church, but oh well…I’m good, I think.
Analyze, laugh, worry…😬
This past 2 weeks the Indian judiciary, the Tamil Nadu government and the people in Chennai have been in a clash over the ban imposed by the Supreme Court on Jallikattu — an annual festival which involves a local breed of Bull being released into a crowd…
I hope someone in the NL signs him. Blanton was the real NLCS MVP. I personally watched him save the Cubs season twice.
I love purple and I always have and I have no idea why.
Except for your erroneous assessment of Armageddon (but not the date) I chuckled through the entire read (would that be col instead of lol?) up to and including the epilogue. You, ma’am, have a talent for writing! Thanks
The length of King William’s arm (measured, slightly off) describes the order of method here…
Overheard in my English classroom…
You log in to worship your God — I mean — scroll down your feed, when you notice something feels different. You go to your profile, where you reread the things you’ve posted all week because, damn you sound good. You’re staring at…
[A piece I wrote on 2008–08–12, while I was studying abroad in St. Petersburg. Written for some sort of Russian Art class, the reader will be able to…
With what other water would you rather have your mozerella stick raft set sale on with your carrot and celery people? What other condiment is endorsed more so than celebrities? What other substance has happiness in its list of ingredients? RAAAAANCH DRESSING!!!!!!!! Good Lord, ranch…
With a wet leg shivering in the 100-degree heat of a blistering June day in the desert, I shuffled back to my office. My right shoe, sock, and pant leg were soaked quite visibly. I had been in Egypt for all of 26 hours.
You have 2–3 pieces of circumstantial evidence. That’s not proof, that’s just a little information you can use to come to the conclusion you want.
I AM a researcher, whose lab is paid by an NSF grant. It is not easy to get such a grant. Many of the scientists who “go against the party line" don’t get funding because their…
A man wearing dark clothes robbed Sunshine Market in Lynchburg on Tuesday. He held a woman while demanding money from the clerk. After…
(Away With Words, Joe Berkowitz, June 2017)
Puns are bottomless. Comedian Steve Allen used to collect the so-called best and publish them in books, but he knew he could never have the definitive collection, because they just kept coming. At…
I help old ladies cross the street. Old men too. Once I helped a koala bear cross…
The Theory of Departmentalization
*cough*Your sister’s inability to give head has improved dramatically.
Twerk it to the Limit (Pt.1)
You know that whole twerking thing white people just found out about within the last few years? Well, I decided to go to YouTube and see what’s what with the whole rump shaking thang. What do I spy straight away? Miley Cyrus, literally squatting on stage holding onto an edge of the stage and…
Twerked (part 2): 100% Ass and All for the Homeless!
So, yes, I’ve been obsessed with something that most of pol(wh)ite society wouldn’t think worthy of their time or contemplation. But after I saw some puny seemingly bum-less white girls popping their peaches on YouTube and assigning each cheek a beat, good God I knew it…
Dear Beautiful, Great Diary,
I’m SAD! Although my flawless inauguration was absolutely wonderful and grand and probably the biggest event of anyone’s life. PERIOD. some people, except they’re not like, important people, keep tweeting mean things at me. AND ITS NOT…
Angry Iguana.
A few good people will get this.
Books I wish I had written :
Bear V. Shark — Chris Bachelder: fucking genius, some people diss this book, and what does that say about me? What it says about them is more to the point — I suspect they are slushpile veterans and, being one myself, they done got all bitter and mean.
Virginia’s governor, Terry McAuliffee’s office made an announcement on Tuesday That the 178,400 claims for unemployment filed in 2016 added up to being the lowest number since 1973. Younger, lower-paid workers are…
“Reds gone missing” sighed Serpent.
“Oh dear” said Fuen, “any idea why?”
Alain Locke Hall: January 26, 2017: Thursday 8:10–9:30 a.m.
Once again, we took our daily quiz, but this time I was more prepared for another story then the other. And I need to find a balance for both stories. And now I see why we have to spend…
B: What was that movie where they created a LinkedIn Profile for someone and eventually did a case study?
Thursday
Marcel
It’s 2017 and I’m sitting here thinking about all that has occurred in the past 2 months. The holidays came and went. My son turned 1 and….. Shit hit the fan.
TheFunnyParent
Taking the same old routes,
Tracking the same old traces,
Wearing the same old boots,
Sheng Tang Xuan dishwashing dishwashing provide central services for the catering business, set point in Kowloon East , downtown large central professional cleaning dishes workshop , transportation convenient , fixed time served each business 365 days a year is not a holiday.
The only witness to the murder was the one bullish frog. The only creature close enough to see the action through the fog. For he was sitting nearby on his bog, bullish frog.
On the appointed court date crowds of people came to see the bullish frog sitting in the witness chair just like you or me.
this work is c & p 2017 by charles o’meara, all rights reserved. for permission to reproduce or reuse this work contact coffeemugshot@gmail.com
Girard does not like to sleep alone. His preference is to sleep with one big warm parent. Which would be great if he didn’t walk, talk, kick and punch in his sleep.
