Humor

How to Ask a Girl Out in High School

It’s easier than you think!

What You Wanted To Be When You Wanted To Grow Up

10 No-Fail Tips For Guys On Tinder

Win her over with your apathy.

Things I do that I would like science to cure.

But kindly not name after me.

In a moonshine induced moment of introspection, I decided that this January instead of hurtling balls first into the New Year, I would take some time to self-improve. So I’ve compiled a…

Which Horoscope Sign Are You?: Buzzfeed Edition

Are you an Andrew or a Eugene?

Home Economics for Socioeconomically Gifted City Kids

How to raise an artisanal child.

Il mio primo Gundam.

Poco prima di Natale, passando davanti ad un negozio di modellismo in centro, mi ha preso una nostalgia fortissima ed una…

Paraguay: El país de la sopa dura y las noticias ‘kachiãi’

Una palabra de uso popular —‘kachiái’—…

Osweiler v. Cook: Worst Playoff Quarterback Matchup This Century?

The Houston/Oakland playoff battle…

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the 2017 Golden Globes Red Carpet

How Big Waterbed sprung a leak.

It is no coincidence that the decline of Playboy magazine, the Playboy Mansion, and the associated hydra-headed conglomerate of Playboy-related limited liability companies tracks almost exactly the collapse of the water bed market. Once a multibillion dollar colossus, Big…

What Not to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

HINT: It’s a lot.

The Woman Who Was All About Rice

She was a fair maiden. Equal through and through, in fact. Elegant, yet bold. Best part about her? She knew what she wanted.

I first spotted her on a rainy night. Clouds dropped rain the way eminem drops a microphone. A million microphones. Tiny…

I Have The First Draft Of Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes Speech

She changed some things.

What’s In A Name?

A brief comedy sketch.

School of Athens holds convocation, releases statement on Trump

The Calm before The Storm

Morning: A Short Story

Paraguay: El país de la sopa dura y de las noticias kachiãi — Parte 2

A estas alturas me imagino que si eres un extranjero, esta es tu reacción al leer las noticias:

How I Deal With Boredom

Some interesting ideas.

Meryl Streep Facing MassiveTax Audit

The Internal Revenue Service announced plans to audit Meryl Streep’s recent tax returns just…

An Open Letter to my Cat

Hi Piper.

I hope you are well.

Real mom’s account of a real birthday party

6:50AM

Only 90’s Kids Will Get Really Really Sad and Nostalgic Looking at Blurry Stills of These Kids Shows

Trailer for the La La Land sequel revealed!!!

The days-anticipated trailed for the La La Land sequel has been revealed, and if you love loving movies, you’re gonna love loving being in love with this movie in addition!

Gonderong

“Bukankah banyak wanita juga gonderong?” Tanya temanku. Aku tau kalau itu adalah semacam pertanyaan retoris emosional karena nadanya…

Mug Love

I buy coffee mugs — the ones made by artisans — in pairs. When I take them home, I think of them as having been united in marriage by my purchase. I consider it an arranged marriage more than a forced marriage. Each pair is clearly related in coloring, texture, pattern. They’re glazed and stylized as similar…

11 Random Notes from my Google Keep

Note 1:

Zombie horse mask

Emily Dickinson puppet

Sick in the head book

Fake Tinkerbell wings

My Mother’s Recipes

My mother is 89 years of age. So close to- almost - 90- not quite- but who is counting? We just take each day instead.

The Best Work-Related Memes

Monday, Monday. How do we always get here so fast?! It was miserable weather-wise for us most of the weekend…

New Media Timeline

New media is the term used to describe interactive content usually found through internet accessible devices. The content engages the user through dialogue and often sparks conversation and thought. New media is easily accessible and readily available to consumers with any digital device. Media…

Hi Lisa Renee,

This is one of our favorite family games. I’ve always liked Suicidal Marsupial. I think they would be in the thrash-skate-metal genre.

Other terrible ideas:

• Sporadic Incontinence
• Wet Paint
• One Eyed Jacks…

Sadie Barton’s Guide for Livin’ # 14: “Vienna Sausage Fever Dream.”

Stable v Unstable Equilibria and v Random

Nope nope nope. Careful here. The earth is in a state of stable equilibrium. It is the nature of stable equilibria that they can support insignificant changes in their state, which is defined as a force significant enough to move it out from one stable…

Tommy Paley, Writer.

Hi.

My name is Tommy Paley and I write things. Things like this one. This thing you are…

Die moorddadige Emu.

ñ Padstal Storie.

A long time ago, in a shoe shop far, far away…

I was asked at my last job to write a blog about a topic of my choosing. Now I could have written something like “My Top 5 Favourite Designers” or “Creative Easter Egg Packaging” (I’m not saying that there would be anything wrong with those topics)…

I Pet Kittens to Save My Life

I sneak into people’s houses to find cute kittens to love. Sure, I have a cat to pet at home but he needs…

Consider the Source

Increase the quality of your conversations applying this simple ancient method

The Interview

“Good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon Peter. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Isaac.”

Mexican Event

shit’s going down

Confessions of a guitar player

She looked at me like I was the strangest thing she had ever seen, and considering that she had just finished using some kind of steel tool on a customer’s Jurassic toenails, that was maybe significant.

Física, Metrô e Vacas

Texto inspirado no estilo de Douglas Adams e no Guia do Mochileiro das Galáxias

O universo, como vocês devem saber, é infinitamente grande, por isso, em toda sua infinidade há muitos lugares em que as leis da…

Our Greedy Little Cat

Not even the fire monster will deter him from food.

10 New Year’s Resolutions You Can Stick To

A revolution for your resolutions

How Does Beard Oil Work?

There is no question a good beard oil can help soften and tame beard hair. But how? For those of you like me who…

Deer

“Deer your puns are awful” cried Sprite.

“Hey” said Deer, “there is a fine British art to telling a good groaner.”

Should men wear Uggs?

Week 2 of the Writing Cooperative Challenge. Enjoy.

Hoddy.

*****************************************************************

Ugg Boots.

Startup. Mobile Wallet. Positioning. Global disruption.

Pope Francis Stays Home From Church After Perfect Forging Of Mom’s Signature

My Cat Meg (Updated w/Photos)

After careful observation, I have concluded that my cat is psycho. She can go from sweet and cuddly kitty to vicious killer in 2.5 seconds. I think I need to start wearing armor around the house, just to be on the safe side. Maybe lock up all the knives.

REFERENCE LIST OF TECHNICAL PROJECT

NO

PROJECT NAME

NO & DATE of WO/PO

LONG TERM

CUSTOMER

1

JASA PERBAIKAN AC CHCR COAL HANDLING UNIT 5–7

Internet of Elevators Part 1

We (Jordan, Kati, and myself) have launched a project for a real-world client in Austin. We’ve been asked not to disclose their name until presentations on Thursday, but we can say that it’s a new dashboard for an internet of things company in the elevator industry.

Hilary Foster

Chapter 2: New Beginning

Hilary arrives at school for her 1st day at Myoshuno High where her and fellow…

I like Doubt.

I like Doubt.

It’s an insane little bastard and basically considers itself the enemy of all reason. You have to admire its tenacity. Doubt sticks to its guns. Doubt is that bro in the middle of winter hanging out in his flops, bad typography stretched across his torso…

Trump Tweets Illustrated: A good relationship with Russia.

Hell freezes over

It’s cold today; in fact very cold. Its freezing like hell as my friend said to me once on a chilly December morning. Wait how would you know how freezing hell is. It may be hot, very hot actually as they say judging by the tales of boiling oil in a huge vessel where people are drowned and fried for the…

Well the cat is still missing. Going to see if I can trick her into a live trap. If not at least I’ll get a pet racoon? On Saturday my friend and I went hiking to Maryland Heights and looked at Harper’s Ferry in the snow. I spent $20 on BBQ that night and $29 on gas. Sunday I spent $2 on coffee and found free street parking! Exhibit was very…

Job Application

There is a room my brain enters at night to smoke cigarettes — a habit I thought I had kicked in earnest more than 10 years ago. And when this secret smoker retreats he both acknowledges and rationalizes with an, “Oh. Well, here we are again. But I’ll just quit once more — tomorrow — no problem.” I…

Prompt: what a character holding a blue object is thinking right now.

The translucent, oblong pills pulse in my palm. Perspiration on my brow, I grab the blue one and throw it back with a glass of water. “Thanks, Morpheus.”

Monday — Let’s start again

Monday

Let’s start again

Royal Holiday Timeshare Frauds

Dear friend,

Thank you for visiting my blog. If you already haven’t purchased a timeshare with Royal Holiday, you’re in time to read what other people think about this Resort. If you already sign a contract I recommend you do a deep research.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yeah, it’s an expression that is seen in both a positive and negative way. I have always disliked that I am that way. I’m also a crier; not a blubbering can’t catch my breath crier, but I tear up often. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m anxious, when I’m upset, when I’m nervous and especially when I’m angry. I cry while…

Persistent pee-pee problem (not mine) is a plague

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to solving one of the greatest challenges of our times, which of course is determining who should use which bathroom.

Dear Mr. President,

Thank you for all you have done while in office. Especially through all the adversity you were able to get more accomplished than any other President I can remember. Your family is beautiful and a true class act in how you all presented yourself to the public. You will always remain in my heart as “my…

Vacuum Salesman

Hello my name is Vic Vandegrift and I am with Rambo Enterprises. I received a telephone call from, Chuck Hergerer, and I am responding to…

Ghost Cats

I had just turned into a sleeping position when the cat jumped up on the bed.

I could feel the soft impact, feel each paw as it explored the duvet for its own perfect place to lie, and then the solid sense of a cat settling down to sleep beside me.

The Whomp: People Pushing, People Shoving

Not Financial News. Financialtainment | January 9, 2017

Future Games-Dingittv

Spread across two days, in Mayfair, tucked away in Grovesnor, we attended the Future Games Summit. Here’s some higlights from both days. To kick things off include, after an initial introduction to the agenda of the day, a very positive discussion regarding the impact of Brexit on the…

Looking at the Future of Comics: Will They Survive Digitization? | The Creators Project

Remarkable stories!

That make the world seem a bit less mad

At times like these in a complex and confusing world there seems like theres a demand for simple stories that puts a smile on your face. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen them like a…

#No Filter

In my experience, roughly between the ages of three and seven, kids have delightfully little filter. Whatever is happening in their little…

Revolution Announce New Partnership With Drip Doctors

NEW ENGLAND- The New England Revolution announced a new 4-year shirt sponsorship deal with the controversial company, Drip Doctors. Despite being recently linked to Samir Nasri’s doping scandal, Drip Doctors are pleased to be moving…

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We have an expert team of Doctors who continuously share feedback on our Products and guide us for the next innovation. In return we keep them updated of our latest products, our special medical seminars and events.

Sometimes you just want a lampshade.

I mean, there’s lots of things to rant about, you guys.

 Like, I’m not allowed to make my amour into a lampshade.

Sometimes the frustration is real.