Day 33: Not everybody has to be happy all the time
This guy is killing my mojo.
WHO does he think he is???
Who the F cares? I don’t.
The guy has a point though.
But for me being dramatic, tragic and having a flair for histrionics is like smiling to him.
Which technically means =>I dramatize cause it makes me feel alive?
Is THAT what I’m doing?
As it goes
I might not even have a reason to be dramatic
I don’t need something bad, unpleasant or tragic to happen in order to be dark and twisted (Meredith rules))
This is how I am.
I can do it when something good happens, when something great happens…
I can do it all the time if I want.
I am FREE to do and act like I’m damaged and depressed, because, well, most of the time — I am
Technically, there wasn’t a day in my life when I thought I wasn’t.
It is what it is.
I agree that I enjoy being dramatic sometimes
I agree that a lot of times I hate that I’m like this.
In the end, I am how I am.
I had SITUATIONS in my life that lead me here. And I’m ok with it.
I don’t like bubbly, smiley people. Happy people.
Who do they think they are?
What is there to smile about anyway?
If I look closely, maybe in the middle of all the crap I have to deal with, there is smth to smile about…
I remember him and me together and I can’t help but dream about him
in a very positive light
that time was precious and remembering it like this makes me smile and makes me happy in retrospect
because I was happy
We choose to smile or frown. We choose it all.
I choose depressing movies and tear-jerking realities…mostly
But it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in happiness and smiling.. 😉
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Previously
1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19–20–21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30–31–32
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Thank you for reading,
xo
N@t
