Classic Life Advice That’s Actually Useless

So let’s all stop using it

Have You Ever Seen A U-Haul Behind a Hearse?

LOL. You can’t take it with ya…

My Twisted Testicles — A Cautionary Tale

Testicular torsion isn’t something I would recommend experiencing.

Sounds Guaranteed to Torture Any Office Employee

Rule #1 of an office: Don’t forget your headphones.

How to Be Intriguing

You are the most interesting person in the world.

Never Underestimate the Intelligence of Your Baby

They might look like tiny blobs of underdeveloped…

How Not to Host a Book Club

”Shut up and Let Me Talk, I’ve Got the Pig.”

The Toilet Paper Rules

Or — How to wipe your heinie in the Arctic

In a world where cocktail sausages are made from guinea pigs, would shortbread still exist?

Dear white people, stop saying you look like me. Sincerely, Potato

In defense of the beauty of a spud.