Yes, My Child Has Permission To Attend The After School Satan Club

And no, he has no allergies…

SAVING CHRISTMAS

A Letter From The Frontline Of The War On Christmas

Tales From the Dating Apps: When They Ask For Your WhatsApp Number, You’re In! Or Are You?

Taking a haircut…in Paris

I have thick, curly hair — think Magic Sponge Animal in water expanding six times its original size. Diana Ross…

THE ONION WON’T HIRE ME, SO…

Harvard President Refuses to Condemn School Shootings

Texas GOP Welcomes Nazis Into Party

Will rename party SSTEP

Mouthfeel Goes Both Ways

A term used frequently now a days but what does it really mean

He’s got no hair and we don’t care

Why It’s Great To Be Bald

Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume Thirty-Nine

Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered…

THE REASON FOR THE SEASONING

🎵 Have Myself A Very Little Chex Mix 🎵

Impedicat

Noun: a cat that’s harmfully in the way

On the Pricings of Subway

Here recounting the hallowed pricings of yesteryear, and our sorry current state.

Dating Daydreams

Which HAIM Sister Should I Go Out With? A Date with Destiny

“Who the Hell Is This Christmas Card Family?” and other Holiday Traditions I Could Do Without

The (Not So) Private Pleasures of Smutty Literature

A Teacher’s Guide to Workplace Awkwardness