Sex With Ena

All of my sexy pieces in one place

Ena Dahl
Essensually Ena
Published in
13 min readDec 3, 2020


Photo: Directed by author / Photography and edit by Jay S Laffat

In the words of my favorite erotica writer Anais Nin: “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” And what better part to relive than our sex lives?

I do love writing about sex and sexuality, but it wasn’t until I sat down to complete this list that I realized just how many stories I’ve published on the topic since I started here in October 2019: N̶i̶n̶e̶t̶y̶-̶n̶i̶n̶e̶, o̶n̶e̶-̶h̶u̶n̶d̶r̶e̶d̶-̶a̶n̶d̶-̶t̶w̶e̶n̶t̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ one-hundred-and-forty-six (updated 11.10.23)!

I write about sexuality, not just for my own enjoyment, but because I believe it’s important. I believe we must normalize having an open, honest, and candid discourse around something that, despite being the most normal thing in the world—we’re all here because of it—is still such an uncomfortable, taboo topic for many. I believe in the importance of women and females speaking LOUDLY about sex. While precaution and safety are essential components of good sex education, I want to see more conversations about pleasure, why we should expect it, and why sex is good for us!

Without further ado, here’s a catalog of ALL of my sex stories, articles, guides, columns, poems, and tidbits—all neatly categorized and in one place:

Essays: Guides, Tips & Advice

Be a Better Lover

Every Great (Sex) Journey Begins with a Single Step
Manageable milestones to help you reach your sexiest goals

Why I Am a Such a Good Lover
And all you need to know in order to become one

Be Better in Bed!
Seven steps to sexual prowess

Sexy — It’s Not Just an Adjective
Pondering the erotic, the difference between the visual and the cerebral, and what it means to be ‘sexy’

Ways to Create Anticipation and Build Sexual Tension Like a Pro
An extensive list of things to do prior to (or instead of) penetration to make sex even better

Why Men Who Master Sexual Self-Restraint Are So Irresistible
Delay gratification to blow her mind — and double the reward

There Are Right And Wrong Ways To Kiss
Screwing it up might be ruining ‘your game’

Sexting 101: The Ultimate Guide to Dirty Texting
Why, when, what, and how to sext like a pro

Better Communication = Better Sex

Let’s Talk About Sex! Sure, but How and Where Do I Start?
How to get started with vocalizing your sexual needs and desires with your partner(s)

Why You Should Talk About Sex on the First Date
Knowing and communicating our needs is the safest way to make sure they’re met

The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned From Dating in the BDSM Scene
Hint: It isn’t how to be a ‘good girl’ or to give a proper spanking

First Dates With People Who’ve Already Seen Me Naked
A case for sharing your sexual preferences — and your nudes — with a potential new partner

Anal Sex

The Quick & Dirty Guide to Anal Cleaning
And why being groomed for the task can make butt sex more enjoyable…

Is Anal More Intimate ‘Regular’ Sex?
Why I won’t let ‘just anyone’ into my most sacred of spaces…

The Secret to Enjoying Anal Sex
It’s all about preparation

Oral Sex

If You Were to Lick My Pussy
You could try a little sumpin’ like this…

If I Was to Give You the Best Blowjob
I’d do a little sumpin’ like this…

If You Don’t Lick, You Can Suck It!
How can you be her lover if you’re appalled by a part of her?

Blowjob Dos & Don’ts
How to give a better blowjob

Tips & Tricks for Better Blowjobs
Four heads-ups on how to give great head

Three & More-somes

How To Be a Third in a Threesome: A Unicorn Guide
“Be a unicorn in a field of horses”

The Fears That Kill Your Threesome Dreams
Four common threesome scares and how to overcome them

A Case For Sleeping With Your Friends
Sex doesn’t always complicate or change things — at least not for the worse


Want to Squirt? First, Learn to Let Go!
How I learned that squirting is only one part technique

My Friend, the Squirting Expert
Interview with Sam (34) who shares from his well of knowledge and experience with female ejaculation

All About Pleasure

Double Your Pleasure With Mutual Masturbation
A comprehensive guide to elevating your partnered solo play

Can Masturbation Screw With Your Orgasms?
Masturbation can be a double-edged sword. Here’s why.

Meet Circlusion; Penetration’s Other Half
Two actions reliant on each other — circlusion emphasizes the value of both acting in harmony

Edging the Orgasm Gap
Let’s fill it with the truth

Nobody Owes You an Orgasm!
Pleasure is not “give and take”, but something we create together

How The German Love for Being Naked Has Helped Me Accept Myself
There’s nothing inherently sexual about nudity, and learning to separate the two is key to a more relaxed relationship…

Relationships & Dating

How Can We Keep Kink-Dynamics Alive In Steady Relationships?
How to maintain the mystery and move from ‘real-life’ to ‘power-play’, and back again

Why Observing Her Cycle Is One of the Most Romantic Things…
Skip the flowers and sync up with her tracking app instead

How Cloning Our ‘Privates’ Boosted Our Confidence
My boyfriend and I made casts of each other for fun-but it did a lot more than making us laugh

Writing About Sex When Your Lover(s) Read It All
The unexpected gains of baring it all online

Consent for Sexting and Why We Need It
Never put anyone in a sexual scenario they didn’t agree to be in — even online and in writing

Public Sex: The Exhibitionism Edition

A Survival Guide for Successful Outdoor Sex
The Seven Principles of Leave No Trace rewritten: Minimum impact practices for sex outside

Exhibitionistic Sex Is All About the Thrill
The throes and titillations — the wheres and hows of public sex

My Four Most Fabulous Sexcapes in Nature
Stories and tips on how to elevate your wildest adventures

I’ll Expose My Body, but My Pleasure Is Private
Why I won’t receive oral sex in public

Safe Sex & Sexual Health

You Can Just Say No, He Said
About the women who were attacked and killed for saying no to men — and why I won’t shut up about this.

Do Condoms Make You Go Soft? I’m Here to Help!
How to prevent and alleviate situational erectile dysfunction — condom related, or otherwise

Men, Are You Really More Afraid of a Failed Performance than of STIs?
Questions and concerns brought up by my best friend’s reactive HIV test

Hot ≠ Safe: Beware of the Sexual Halo Effect
How cognitive bias can affect our judgment in bed

Are COVID Anti-vaxxers More Likely to Engage in Unsafe Sex?
Hypothesis: If they don’t care about health and safety in general, why would they care about sexual health?

Why Your Ask for Unprotected Casual Sex Is a Huge Red Flag
An open letter to the guy who asked to skip the condom on the first date

Sex is Healthy!

Sex Is The Most Powerful Medicine
Up the dose on this natural super drug through times of crisis
All the positive effects that sex has on your mind and body

“Constant Sex Kills The Coronavirus”
The piece of fake news that might have a sliver of truth to it

Food + Sex

My Favorite Course is the Intercourse
How and why food and sex are related

Turn Dinner Into a Delightful Debauchery
Up the ante on date night: A not-so-innocent dinner idea

Personal & Erotic Shorts

There are so many similarities between sex and storytelling, the two are intertwined. I love telling sexy stories may also be (at least a bit) educational.

This Happened To Me

A Butthole Party Was the Event I Never Knew I Needed
The evening when I learned to see the anus in a whole new light

My Sexiest Highlights of 2020
Twenty lustrous gems that brightened my twenty-twenty

Do You Squirt?
The story of how I found out

My Best Friend Lent Me Her Lover
If sharing is caring, the two of us care a lot!
I was horny, she was not, so she sent her man to my place as a treat.

I Posed Nude for an Artist on our First Date
“Draw me like one of your French girls”

The Time I Had My Cake and Ate Her Too
Ménage à Trois with a cherry on top: A recipe of sorts
Or… the time I made my best friend into a birthday cake and devoured her with my Master

My First One-Night-Stand Was With Two Men in a Sex-Club
The time I ticked off a whole sex bucket list in a night

An Ass-Master Stole My Heart
A story about anal sex, and my (attempted) polyamorous slave-Master relationship

The Boy & The Cougar
The morning I fulfilled a fantasy I didn’t know I had

He Didn’t Make Me Cum, so I Made Him Leave
The guy who came ‘too fast’, and left even faster

My Sex Bucket List
Make my naughty wishlist come true!


A Spanish Inquisition
A scheduling conflict turns into an opportunity for introductions… and for an MFM fantasy to be realized

Next Level
A young woman in Berlin in search of something — her identity, her sexuality, or both

A Lighted Window at Dusk
An erotic two-hander on longing and other obscure sorrows

Penis Envy
An erotic tale of powerplay and gender identity in a lesbian relationship

Dinner With a Vibe
Sir takes (the remote) control in this buzzing erotic short with a sweet surprise

The Connection Between Sex & Storytelling

Can You Write Your Way to Better Sex?
Why good storytellers make more attractive lovers

The Best-Worst Fantasy Someone Sent Me
With feedback, comments, and guidance on how to improve your sex/storytelling skills

The Good-Bad Girl and the Bad-Good Guy
What I sexted as a response to the worst fantasy ever

Kink & BDSM

I’ve been exploring and practicing various aspects of BDSM over the last few years and find it deeply cathartic, even healing. BDSM is, therefore, near-spiritual to me. Besides, few things have provided me such self-awareness; it has helped me understand myself, my wants and needs, and to communicate these clearly.

A Beginners Guide to BDSM
BDSM is, to an extent, about pushing boundaries, but it’s not a competition

The Higher You Fly, The Harder You Drop?
Understanding ‘post-play drop’ in BDSM and what causes it

What is Aftercare?
One of the most important elements in BDSM

How To Find The ‘Perfect’ Play Partner?
A reader suggested we write a piece on how to find the perfect play partner. After some years in the BDSM scene, I’m…

No, You’re Not Normal (But Who Is?)
Being normal is the only thing that isn’t normal

My First Time at a BDSM Club
Or, how not to visit a BDSM club

How to Host the Best Kinky Sex Parties at Home
The way to get what you want is to create it yourself

Curious About Joining Fetlife? Take My Hand and Let Me Guide You
The ultimate beginners guide to the kinky social network

Kink: A One-Way Street With Many Alternate Routes
Five women and their journey into kink and beyond

Ropes, Powerplay & Sadomasochism — Explaining My Kinks to My Mother
Excerpts from this summer’s conversations with my mom; an interview of sorts

Which Fantasies and Kinks Will Gain Popularity in a Post-Pandemic World?
COVID has already affected our sex lives greatly. How will it continue to influence our erotic imaginations?

Domination & Submission

How to Be a Powerful Sexual Submissive
Not your regular submission guidelines

So You Think You Can ‘Dom’?
The step-by-step guide to sensual domination.

Is Submission an Excuse to Be Lazy in Bed?
The active role of the ‘passive’ part of a D/s dynamic

Can We Learn How to Be More Dominant or Submissive in Bed?
Are our kinks and sexual roles inherent, or can they be adopted?

How to Outsmart Your Dom
Ten things (not) to say to drive your top up the wall

Pain, Spanking, Sadism & Masochism

The Relativity of Pain
Understanding why sensation is often circumstantial

Your Pain, My Pleasure
Discover the alluring links between pleasure and pain

This is How I Want You To Spank Me
The fine art of spanking someone into a state of euphoria

Healing Pain With Pain
How reclaiming my pain through BDSM became my remedy

The BDSM Tools You Didn’t Know You Owned
With some creativity, your home is already a well-equipped dungeon: A budget-friendly DIY-BDSM guide

My Friend, The Buddhist Sadist
An interview with Marco (35) — not your average smiley Buddhist

Shibari, Ropes & Bondage

Wrap Yourself Up
Why learning rope bondage and self-tying is one of the best gifts you could give yourself

Tie Me Up to Set Me Free
How I experience being bound and suspended in ropes

Why We Love Rope
Riggers and rope models share what Shibari means to them

A Love Story in Ropes
SPNKD’s rope teacher on his journey; how he got stuck and later untangled, and how ropes have tied him and his wife…

Various Kinks & Fetishes

B is for Blueberry Fetish, F is for Fornophilia
A Dictionary of Curious Kinks for Kinktober, Part 1 of 4: A to F

You Want Me to Stuff How Many Sharpies up My What-Now???
What’s up with hole-stretching and why are some people into that?

Cum For Me! The Joys of JOI Porn
Exploring the thriving genre of porn referred to as JOI (Jerk off Instructions)

Playing With Fire and Ice
The full range of temperature play, how to do it, and what to look out for

What if I Do Want You to Spit in My Mouth?
Does that make me a freak?

Worship My Feet!
A love note from a toe tease

Scare My Pants Off
The interplay of fear and desire

Take My Breath Away
Edge-play: Choking and breath play in BDSM

What Is Needle Play, and How Can ‘That’ Be Sexy?
I tried a kink I never thought I would. Here’s what I learned…

How I Found out That I Have a Knife Fetish
When you know you have nothing to be scared of, fear can be an aphrodisiac

Theoretical Kink

The Ego, Shame & BDSM
Can humiliation lead to healthier egos and better mental health?

Is Kink the ‘New’ Thing?
Proof that our grandparents were kinky too

Yes, Kink is Childish — And That’s a Good Thing!
Unleash your inner-child and play your way to better physical and mental health

Sex & Spirituality

“When we touch the place in our lives where sexuality and spirituality come together, we touch our wholeness and the fullness of our power, and at the same time our connection with a power larger than ourselves.” This quote by Judith Plaskow outlines my mission as a sex writer: Through my work, I want to assist others in finding the place in their lives where sexuality and spirituality meet.

Alchemy & Transmutation

See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me
The healing potential in feeling seen through kink and sexual submission

Blazed & Defused
Sacred Morning Bliss recounted

Elemental Desires
Sexual alchemy — a spell

Sexual Alchemy: Water
The one who filled her cup

Energy Work

Create With Your Libido — Fuck With Your Creativity
All of our vital energy spring from the same source

Transmute Energy With Chakra Masturbation
A guide to sexual alchemy through mindful self-pleasure

Religion & Patriarchy

For the Love of Christ
Escapades of a former Jesus freak who went from preaching to perversion, and took the Holy Son along for the ride

Father Thinks I’m a Satanist
After finding my ‘nudes’ on Instagram

My Dead Grandmother Watched Me Having Sex
Haunting myths I learned about sex from my Christian upbringing

Sexual Politics

“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power,” said Oscar Wilde and I couldn’t agree more. Further, politics isn’t always sexy, but sex is always political, and that, more than anything is why we must talk about it!

Sexology & Ethical Non-Monogamy

Criticizing Toxic Monogamy Culture Is Not an Argument for Polyamory
I was called out as a hypocrite for challenging my programming on social media. (A conversation about toxic monogamy culture. Part one)

No One Can Be Everything for Anyone — And That’s Ok!
Accepting this liberating notion does not imply the necessity to be polyamorous. (A conversation about toxic monogamy culture. Part two)

Sex-positive Feminism

The Missing Pieces of Me(at)
I was raised to believe ‘sinful’ sex would fragment me

I Used to Slut-Shame — Now I Am One
Embodying the true meaning of the word has made me whole

Let’s Call a Cunt a Cunt!
And, let’s not perpetuate the usage of a perfectly good word for one of our body parts as an insult

How I Learned to Honor My Sexual Seasons
After winter, must come spring — Change, it comes eventually…

Let’s Stop Getting Penetrated and Start Circluding
The power of language in sex and why words matter

Stop Shaming Me for Loving the Deepthroat!
There’s no right or wrong way to give a blow-job

Sex and Other Seemingly Violent Pursuits: Is Violence Always Violent-Looking and Vice Versa?
Examining the difference between ‘violent’ and ‘violence’ in the contexts of sex, BDSM and emotional abuse

Give Me a Nasty Lover!
Why I prefer a man who loves a good mess

Wait, You Want to Pay Me How Much to Step on Your Balls?
What I learned from an offer to sexually ‘torture’ someone for money

The porn conversation

Germany Just Released Its First-Ever State-Funded Porno!
Finally, my German broadcasting license fee is going towards something I’ll actually watch

This Is Where You’ll Find Good Porn
Hint: You’ll have to pay for it, which is how we get good porn in the first place


Are You Allowed to Be a Mother and Also Love Sex?
Confessions of a ‘slut-mom’, and how I learned to embrace myself as a whole woman

Congratulations, You’re a Smoking Hot MILF!
An award acceptance speech

LGBTQI & Identity

I Just Found Out I’m a Heteroromantic Bisexual
Grappling with the complexities of bisexuality and the value of labels

I Kissed a Girl (And, Yes, I Did Like It!)
Response to a 100-word writing challenge on the first kiss

Hot & Sensual Poetry

A collection of poems and other sensual short-form texts

On The Last of Her Days
A true story of a ‘crime of passion’

Twin Flames
A poem to the one(s) I’ve always known

A heart-to-heart in ropes

Let Me Be Small
A poem about the paradoxical healing effects of power play

Ode to The Master
A poem from a muse

From Greek, álgos, ‘pain’ and lagneía, ‘lust’ — a sexual tendency defined by deriving sexual pleasure and stimulation…

A redemption song

The Smell of You
A poem that lingers

Your Dickpic Turns Me On
Better the dick you know than the dick you don’t

April Fools
A poem about public sex and lies

Strike Three
A spoken word poem

A morning contemplation

That’s it for now, but worry not, there’s plenty more to come. Thank you so much for reading and stay warm my sexy friends!



Ena Dahl
Essensually Ena

Multidisciplinary creatrix; conscious kink & sensuality coach, educator, author, energy worker & rope (s)witch.