20 Things My Suburban Parents Whispered At A Cocktail Party

The best things are left unsaid. Unless…

The Conservative’s Guide To Leaving The Country When You’ve Never Been Out Of The Country

If You Wanna Be My Lover, You Gotta Get With These Unrealistic Expectations

“How am I still single?”…

An Oral History Of The Four Seasons Total Landscaping Press Conference

Please Stop Calling People “Tone-Deaf” When They Make Offensive Or Insensitive Comments

I’m actually tone-deaf, and I promise you, I’m neither offensive nor insensitive, so please just stop.

Mrs. Sally Johnson To Retire From Blow-Jobbing

She leaves behind a legacy of diligence, technical…

We Decided Against Potty Training

One of our first decisions regarding our son, Sybiscuous, was not to potty train him. Just because…

Answers To The Question Midwesterners Ask Themselves Every Single Winter: “Why The Fuck Do I Live Here?”

The Art Of Sending A “You Up?” Text

A guide to ensuring your “You Up” text stacks up amongst the…

Slackjaw Featured Theme: Sex & Dating

We feature a new humor theme every couple of months. Slackjaw’s current featured theme is Sex…